Body language mistakes: Now there are so many things that you can do right when using body language to be more persuasive. You don’t have to be an expert to know about body language that can offend others.
Now think for just a second about when you get to see a hidden message that others have not. It may happen on television or it can be something that you catch out of the corner of your eye. Now what if you were the one who made the body language mistake?
Body language mistakes in a covert manner
It is possible to have some covert messages or even embedded commands build into body language or non verbal communication. Now some of these messages are so strong that the “non verbal” element really doesn’t matter and the message really isn’t covert anymore.
Salespeople make the body language mistake of letting their minds go on autopilot and allow their facial expressions and or hand gestures to display what they are thinking without thinking. The response that may happen is not always the best. In this instance the potential client does not have to be the best at reading people he or she is not engaged anymore and the chances of business happening are slim to none when these covert body language messages are caught.
The first thing for you to know if you live your life in a profession that requires your ability to persuade others is that your body language mistakes can be caught and beat. It is best for you to know about body language or nonverbal communication to help you understand the signs and signals that may allow others to interpret your message incorrectly.
Body language mistake of fingers
In the western culture it is common to point with your index finger, the digit closest to your thumb. Its not nice to point and this hand gesture can get you in trouble when done wrong because it can trigger the “rejection mechanism” in the mind of the person being pointed at.
There are some people who point with their middle finger …
And those people create problems for themselves with the covert body language mistake. Their message may not have a negative non verbal element but when the person gets caught by the brain with the hidden or covert body language message it is tough to recover because who is going to confront a person about being “flipped off” as its called here in the United states or even “flipping the bird”
What is body language? Very destructive when perceived wrong is the answer..
Its best to not point with anything but your index finger when need and if at all possible it is best to use a pen when available or an open palm. You don’t have to be an expert at reading people to know when the middle finger is used to convey a thought or message.
Learn how to read people like an expert with this course on body language
As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about common body language mistakes.
Now go implement!
Scott Sylvan Bell
Video credit: Body language expert Scott Sylvan Bell – Body language mistakes
There is a photo of President Obama in a meeting with Republicans. His elbows are on the table, and his chin is resting in the palm of his hand. Instead of having his index finger pointing upward along his cheek, he extends the middle finger. This is a classic example of what you describe here. He’s letting the Republicans know exactly what he thinks of them.
Tim Van Milligan
This is an excellent post, Scott. We typically think of Reading Body Language as something where we are concsious of what we are doing with intent. We often dont think of what we are saying unconciously and perhaps unintententionally.
Sonya Lenzo
http://www.oldbooksmarket.com/techsupport/
Agreed – the best way is no pointing except with a pen or open palm. Too much chance for misinterpretation otherwise.
Peggy
Scott,
It is amazing to me how often I see people point with the middle finger. Even though I know they don’t mean anyting by it, I usually get distracted enough that I don’t pay full attention to what they are saying.
A small thing but it could have pretty large effects.
Dennis
How to Keep New Year’s Resolutions
More great advice from the body language expert!
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Great article!
I really like “Body language mistake of fingers”.
It is amazing how such a small thing can show real attitude.
Alex Arshavskiy
http://www.leadershipmissinglink.com
Great example of body language mistakes people make with pointing, especially with that middle finger! I knew a guy who used his middle finger to push the bridge of his glasses back up his nose whenever his glasses slipped down in meetings. I noticed this and told me he was flipping everyone off without realizing it. He had no idea he was doing it!
Michael
Success Secrets
Hi Scott,
Being aware of how body language is persuasive or really a mistake or error make all the difference in our being influential and successful, or just missing the mark all the time and not knowing why. Great example!
April Braswell, CHt, RH
Hypnosis Huntington Beach
Hi Scott!
I never saw anyone pointing at something with the middle finger…Here in Spain it means the same as in the United States. That would be a terrible mistake indeed!
I always enjoy your videos from than Sunny place!
Eliminar el estrés
You are so right, people really have to watch what they do with that middle finger. The message it sends is so strong that almost anything you do with that finger could be taken as offensive. I was recently at a car dealership with my friend and the salesman was so totally hyper that we kept laughing at him. His body language was NOT saying the right things!
Lisa McLellan
Babysitting Services, Nanny Services, and Nanny agencies
A Salesman that looks at his watch… That is the red flag for me!
LOL
Maybe they don’t realize or maybe they do it on [urpose as some tactic they have learned.
I don’t care why they look at their watch. It is a complete turn off to me. I usually won’t buy from them… or I will bring it up and see how they respond. Sometimes that brings them back into reality and we get some rapport going.
Funny that these days… as a customer I have to teach the salesperson how to get in repore with ME. And I am easy!
LOL