Body language of listening

 

Body language of listening: One of the biggest complaints among people who have conversations is that the man or the woman is not listening.

 

It doesn’t matter if you are in a relationship, work for someone or even have kids at some point you have wondered if the people around you are listening.

 

As with any project or time with reading the body language of others you will want to baseline or watch the person for a moment to understand their signs and or signals before making a judgment.  

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Nonverbal signs of listening

There are a few nonverbal signs when it comes to listening:

  • ·         Eye contact
  • ·         Direction of the body
  • ·         Tilt of the head
  • ·         Nonverbal actions
  • ·         Micro expressions

 

Body language of eye contact and listening

When talking to others both men and women prefer that the person that is listening has good eye contact with the speaker. For most people it’s a sign of respect and just a good overall sign that the eye contact is present. Now there are people who pretend that they are listing and they have great eye contact. If it’s just eye contact and no other nonverbal sign the man or woman may be concerned that listening is not happening.

 

Nonverbal actions of listening and the direction of the body  

Now when a man or woman is listening to you they may turn their body slightly while they listen. If you are not familiar with the person facing each other and standing or sitting too close may cause some altercations. If there is an anticipation of issues it may be best to slightly turn to not aggravate the man or the woman talking to you. This may work well for relationships or in business interactions, just remember slight as it may be a sign that you want to be out of the conversation.

 

When the man, woman or child is not facing you there will be signs and signals that you will want to look for like shaking the head or using a symbol.

 

Body language of listening and the tilt of the head

For some men or women that listen actively they will tilt their head to the right or to the left and may even turn their head towards the speaker. Now this is not always the case but there are times where people do so and it may even be when it is difficult to hear in a loud location. Tilting the head is not a definite sign that there is listening going on but may give you a clue to if the man or the woman is listening to what you are saying.

 

Nonverbal actions of listing

Now some of the other signs and signals of listening is the head, hand or arm movement or even symbols that could be shown. Now people may shake their head yes or no when they listen to you. Now this may be through a sales presentation, a sermon, an argument between a boyfriend or girlfriend or just an everyday conversation.

 

You may see a man or women give you the thumbs up sign here in the United States or even use an arm swipe as to say no way. There may even be a time where the man or the woman throws their hands up as a sign of giving up while you talk and that may just be a sign that they are about to give up and walk away.

 

There may even be some signs by shrugging the shoulders or throwing the hands up in the air. There are times where people get impatient and tap pens or anything similar.

 

Micro expressions and the signs of listening  

As a man or women listens to you they may get emotional for the good or even for the bad and you may be able to see that through their microexpressions. You may have a coworker or friend that gets angry from your conversation and when you see that you may want to change the course of the conversation. It doesn’t make sense for you to expect the other person to listen to you and you then not listen to them.

 

You will also want to show your active listening body language or nonverbal communication with the other man or woman. Just remember the law of reaction because the reaction or the signs and signals you exhibit may cause the other person to react to what you do.  Be patient with others while they communicate and they should be patient with you.

 

Learning how to read body language can be fun and make your own communication more effective.

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about reading the body language of listening

 

 

Now go implement!

 

 

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

 

 

 

Body language expert Scott Sylvan Bell shares the Body language of listening: video credit

Offensive body language

Offensive body language: Offensive body language doesn’t just come from your hands; while others are reading your body language they may become offended from different parts of your body.

 

Reading body language of offensive gestures

Your hands are used so much to communicate no matter what part of the world you are from.

 

Now in some spots of the world some symbols have different meanings than other parts of the world. So you want to say that everything is ok in the United States and think it’s a safe sign to pass off you may find that others who are reading your body language may be offended.

 

You decide that you want to give the thumbs up and think it’s a harmless action…

 

Once again as your nonverbal communication with your hands may confuse others who are reading your body language may get the sense you are being rude.

 

So you decide that you want to point at others, well that may not be considered rude all of the time or from many countries but it does lessen the effectiveness of your ability to persuade the person that you are pointing at.

 

Waiving a fist at a person can get you into a fight or altercation that can get out of hand so the waive of a fist for some may show power and for others it shows aggression.

 

This should not have to be mentioned but in the United States and other countries waiving a middle finger at a person or group is a giant step above the fist waiving and can be seen as a huge insult.  

 

It is important to pay attention to the people that you are with or around when using body language that may offend others.  

 

Reading body language of offensive feet signals

Your feet are the closest body part to the ground in most instances and to point at a person with your feet shows the person who is receiving the point may find that you have no value for them.

 

You walk on dirt with your feet

 

You step on less desirable items with your feet

 

So it would make sense that some people would find your body language offensive?

 

Reading body language of offensive touch

Now there are some social boundaries that seem like they should just make sense but there are some out there that just don’t get the social cues or they just do not care. Touching others in inappropriate places can get you in trouble. If you are reading the body language of others while watching interactions going on you may see some interesting facial expressions or reactions.

 

Touching others can be easy to remember so that you do not offend others. If you are a man and you are going to touch a woman the best and most appropriate place would be the back of the arm from the shoulder to the elbow, not the back, not the chest or the buttocks the arm. In some instances you can get away with the top of the hand.

 

Now for women who are touching men the rules may just as well get thrown out the window. If the touch is flattering to the man he will not care of believe the body language or touch is offensive. The same rules somewhat apply though even though with men the rule are more loose than with the women. The arm or the hand will work but not the leg, chest or stomach.

 

It is tough enough in some industries for women to be taken seriously because of their gender and if they buy into the flirting it may just hurt their real capabilities.

 

Reading body language of offensive proximity

There are some people who just don’t care how close you stand to them or if you touch them and then there is the rest of the world. Some men or women may find that your proximity to them may cause problems. A good rule of thumb is to stand at least 18 – 24 inches (40 cm) from people who you are not close with and sometimes more distance helps but not too much. If you are too far away from the man or woman they may find your body language not just offensive but strange.

 

Keeping the distance of the “bell bubble” will help others from reading your body language as offensive and combine the distance with offensive touch and you will stay away from dangers of getting too close for comfort.

 

Reading body language of offensive looks

Reading the “stink eye” or dirty looks causes people to be uncomfortable with the body language being presented. The “stink eye” may not always be on purpose. This facial featured look may just be a reaction on the part of the man or the women who is making the face. The “stink eye” can be more of a stare than anything else.

 

In some instances people will stick out their tongues or stick their fingers in their mouths when dealing with children as a way to have fun or scare children but when this action is done to an adult it may mean that there is no mutual respect or an anger or frustration involved.

One of the items that would go on the list of offensive looks would to be not to look at the person who is talking.  By looking at the person who is talking to you it shows a level of respect. If you were to turn your back on a person as they talk to you it shows a lack of respect and create altercations, anger and sometimes physical interactions.

 

Having good eye contact will keep you out of trouble with not giving enough attention to a message.

 

A yawn may be an offensive action when done with noise and excessive action. It is possible to yawn without noise or the body language that can be read as being bored. Done as silently as possible with a slight hand cover will keep your body language from being read as offensive.

 

Reading body language of offensive sitting

How you sit while talking to another may be seen as offensive. Without sitting straight up the man or woman may not think that you take their message seriously. If you are sitting in a slouched position while they are talking or presenting you may be showing body language that you are bored. The same goes with having a fist or hand under your chin.

 

Crossing your legs can cause some harm if done too often to draw attention to your actions. If you are a female wearing a skirt this action may be seen as a way to create undue attention. Some may find this body language flattering or a form of seduction so be careful even if done on accident.

 

Rocking back and forth can also cause some attention that is unneeded and can be seen as a distraction or rude to someone who is speaking or presenting.

 

Learning how to read body language can help you understand the signs and signals of what to do in public or what can be seen as offensive.

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about reading offensive body language.

 

Now go implement!  

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

:Photo credit for reading offensive body language

Reading body language of shoes

Reading body language: One of the most common items people look at but don’t think about until it is brought up in conversation is the condition of shoes.

 

For some nationalities and places in the world the type and condition of the shoes mean just about everything and determine your social status.

 

Clean shoes may show the signs and signals that you are conscientious about your work. Reading the body language of someone with clean or nice shoes might show that the person being read has an extra bit of confidence.

 

For some trust comes from the details of knowing that the person that they are working with of for pays attention to the small details.  

 

Body language expert Scott Sylvan Bell describes the body language of boots and shoes
Readig body language of shoes and boots

 

Reading body language experiment #1

If you were going to get a custom suit made and noticed that the man or woman who was taking the measurements had shoes on that were scuffed would you think that they would be able to do the work necessary to ensure that the suit was done correctly?

 

Chances are that you would have a tough time believing that they would do a good job.

 

Now there might be a light amount of scuffing on their shoes where the shine might have been slightly marred but excessively dirty?

 

In service technicians and personnel it is not uncommon to find that they have not ever cleaned their shoes and think nothing of walking into your clean house, condo or apartment without even thinking about what they are tracking in.

 

Think of your shoes appearance this way. If you were going to be judged by a man or woman from the ground up he or she is sizing up your nonverbal communication this way:

  • ·         Shoes and what they look like and are they the right shoe for the event
  • ·         The fit of the clothing that you have on
  • ·         Your gig line (where your fly meets up with your belt and button down shirt)
  • ·         If you have any weight hanging over your belt line
  • ·         If your clothes are clean or not stained
  • ·         Your teeth and if they are clean
  • ·         Your hair
  • ·         Your body language that is being computed, calculated and the tallied into some internal mental score.

 

Your shoes start the chain of events for you to be judged or end the chain of events when looking form the top down and having your nonverbal communication read.

 

Body language expert Scott Sylvan Bell shows how to read the body language of pollishing boots
Reading body langugae of clean boots and shoes

 

It may not just be a woman that is reading your body language and nonverbal communication it could be a man that is judging you. It may not even matter what your mouth is saying or your nonverbal of what you are wearing the belief in your previous lack of attention to your attire may skew the message while reading your body language.

 

Reading body language of your attire and shoes

In reading the communication of your shoes it is important to note that there are a few things that you can do to help your mental score from the man or woman viewing you.

 

1.      Make sure that your shoes are appropriate for your industry or event

2.      Make sure that your shoes are clean and or polished

3.      If your shoes are too damaged then replace them if possible

4.      If your laces need to be replaced then do so, it will cost you less than $3.00

5.      If your shoes need to be polished then get it done or do it yourself.

 

As a person in business or dating there are too many other areas where you can have a tough time making an impression so why would you risk not dealing with this one small area that can be made into a huge deal and ultimately determine what the person reading your body language decides about you.

 

If you are in the service industry it is a good idea to clean off your shoes throughout the day and wear floor savers inside the homes of your clients (these are the medical convers that would be worn inside of hospitals).

 

If you are in a business setting drop by a local mall and see if there is a place where you can get your shoes shined it should not cost you more than $10.00 in most places. As an added marketing benefit you never know who you might be sitting next to where you can make a connection or with the guys or girls polishing the shoes, they know many people you may not be able to connect with through social media or in their office. Treat them good and tip them well, they will remember you after a few visits.

 

There is so much to look at and inter[ret to understand what the body is saying. Understanding and reading body language is a skill that really is more relevant in today’s business life than ever before.  Your advantages get smaller daily why not learn how to read body language here:

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about reading the body language of shoes.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Black Combat Boots by nuttakit ,Polished boots by body language expert Scott Sylvan Bell :Photo credit for reading the body language of shoes!

Reading body language: Are you making these common nonverbal mistakes?

Reading body language: How do I avoid making people uncomfortable while communicating effectively? This is a common question that is asked of those who know how to explain body language or nonverbal communication.

 

The answer isn’t always that simple.

 

Sometimes people just don’t get it or they just don’t care. When communicating with others there are nonverbal things that can be done to make the people who are being spoken to entirely uncomfortable and when these offenses are done it could be a complete accident or the pther person is oblivious as to what they do.

 

Have you ever walked away from a person and have not understood why you were uncomfortable with what they said to you, or it could have been you were just creeped out and walked away with the chills?

 

Chances were that the body language or the non verbal communication skills of the offender were not that good or they were just someone who lacked social skills so that their style of communication was unusual and or very uncomfortable.

 

Do you make these common body language mistakes?

 

Here are some of the ways that you can unconsciously offend those around you and cause your message to not be delivered. Now it doesn’t matter if you are in sales, looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend or just talking to a friend you can make these mistakes.

 

Body language of the eyes: Now for many people visual contact will make or break the way that your message is or not delivered. It usually isn’t the lack of eye contact that causes a problem it is the location at which the people look. Here is the most common issues that people find themselves in besides lack of eye contact:

 

  • ·         Staring at the lips, not this is usually a sign of sexual advance and not the best way to nonverbally communicate while talking to a man or a woman unless it is a sexual advance that you want.
  • ·         Staring at body parts, now for men it is difficult to look at some women without  looking at specific places especially when the clothing allows a distraction.
  • ·         Shifty eyes, there are some people who just look at everything and it seems as if there may be a possible drug problem.
  • ·         When having a conversation with a person the best area to look at is across the eyebrows to the bottom of the nose. If you would like to make a person uncomfortable you can stare at their chin or forehead and this can be used as a ploy for some negotiators.

The rules of nonverbal communication include proximity

 

When it comes to making people uncomfortable with body language next on the list would be proximity or how close people are to you. There are a few offenses that people can make when it comes to not understanding proximity that should be used in a given situation. Here are the most common mistakes that people make when identifying the distance that can be comfortable while communicating.

 

  • ·         Standing too close to the person who you are talking to. This is uncomfortable and causes the person to not listen to the message but question in their head “why is this person standing so close” the whole time you are talking to the
  • ·         The opposite of standing too close would to have a conversation form an uncomfortable distance. When communicating either verbally or nonverbally there is an acceptable distance to stand away from the person who is communicating with you. If you are too far away it just seems strange and doesn’t feel like the message can be delivered. The communication is strained and then has a tough time being effective.

 

Does body language include touching another person, or is that seduction?

 

Last on the list of uncomfortable body language or nonverbal communication skills is touch. If you are a man there is a double standard for sure when it comes to touching another person. It is perfectly acceptable for a woman to touch a man or a woman but when the situation is the other way around it is not always acceptable for a man to touch a woman. This is a social norm you can’t really change.

 

Some people will move too quickly with touch if they are attracted to the other person, it may seem like it is a hypnotic response where touch seems required in their mind but it is too much too soon.

 

  • ·         Touching someone too soon into a conversation or even a relationship is not a good idea. Kinesthetic people or those who are more touchy feely have a tough time with this boundary and then do not understand why there is such a bad reaction to their style of communicating. If you touch a person before you have acceptable rapport can cause mistrust or even cause a confrontation. This can be confused by them because they as a kinesthetic person do not have a problem standing or sitting in close proximity to another person.
  • ·         Touching someone in an inappropriate place is a huge offense. Now you may not think that some places would be off limits so the best place to touch a woman is usually on the upper arm from between the elbow to the shoulder. If you do not know the person very well the upper arm is the only location to touch besides the top of the hand when appropriate. Now this rule may be entirely different if you are trying to attract or even seduce another person.  

 

Your ability to deliver an effective message is up to you. Your body language and non verbal communication skills are going to determine what people think when they are done with a conversation with you. What communication is may not always be defined by you.

 

To learn more about the different styles of learning or modalities NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming would be a good start to build better rapport or even to learn how to communicate more effectively. This would include kinesthetic, visual and even auditory modalities of learning.

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comment and or questions about body language.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

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