Reading body language of a first date part 4

Reading body language: So you have met your date and you have done everything that you can to make him or her feel comfortable with your body language after you have given them a chance to read you.


You were smart and looked up how to read body language articles on the internet before you met. You found out about proximity, where to stand, how to sit, the appropriate places and amount to touch and even what to look at.


The most important thing you can do know is to react to his or her body language correctly after you have read them.


It has already been said that reactions to body language is just as important as reading the body language. Now this is just as important in a first date setting as it is in a business setting or even with a family member.


Reading body language of an internet date
Reading body language of women on a first date


Your reaction to how someone is communication with you nonverbally can perpetuate a situation or stall out bad feelings.


She is flirting and she says she like your style…


You smile, but you don’t believe her and your smile isn’t real and dont understand that it was a compliment as was as a message to flirt with you.


She now feels self-conscious and like she had given a compliment and you didn’t like it, now she thinks maybe you are not into her.


Now she is uncomfortable, she slouches in her chair. Her body language reads hurt.


You react seeing that you made a mistake and overcompensate by becoming rigid and puffing your shoulders up or even take a deep breath.


The situation becomes uncomfortable and you lose out and so does she because it will be tough to recover from this situation.


Reading body language of a good first date
Reading body language of a fun first date


Remembering that your subconscious runs ahead of your brain by a slight moment in time does not always make reactions easier but it should be a good reminder for you to be gracious when you get a compliment “I appreciate that you noticed” is a good line that fits into any compliment and can be used just about anywhere. Substitute “I appreciate that you noticed” into the situation above and the outcome becomes better as long as the smile is real and the voice you use is genuine.


As a side note you can screw a compliment up really easy when you say “Its not that big of a deal” because now you have just discounted a compliment that someone has taken the time to give you voiding the complement into their head. Now enter the reaction of their body language that you can read showing disappointment.


First dates should be fun and not awkward letting go of setting up for the perfect moment will allow you to have some fun. Where people go wrong after learning how to interpret and read body language is that they try too hard to make things happen or they go too far reading into a situation. Understanding body language and the reactions of body language can help you take your first date into your last first date when your react correctly.   


Learn how to read the body language or anyone like and expert


I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about reading the body language of a first date.


Now go implement!


Scott Sylvan Bell


Photo credits:Young Lady Showing Thumbs Up by photostock, Lovers by Rosen Georgiev

Reading body language of a first date part 3

Reading body language: As the first date goes on and you have made a good first impression, you have met in the right spot and used the correct body language so far as to give off the best body language that could be read. The next areas to make sure that you have paid attention to correctly is to not touch the other person too much or be too close in proximity.


What you are looking at can break body language rapport

The communication that you portray from giving good eye attention can make or break a first date even if you have done everything well so far. Now this is beyond eye contact in a sense it is more of what are you paying attention to in your peripheral vision. He or she may react to your lack of attention being paid to them.


Reading body language for a man on a first date
Reading body language for a woman on a first date


So you haven’t inappropriately stared at his or her body parts but you keep checking out another person across from you at the other booth or at the counter. Your lack of interest can be read through your body language.


Most people can tell when and where you have lost interest in them and their story.


One of the biggest distractors possible is a cell phone. The best idea is to turn yours off and put it in a pocket you’re a bag to keep you from looking at it all the time or creating a distraction that isn’t needed.  


What you are wearing not just for clothes but also accessories

Your body language and how other read you will be determined your clothing. Wear the wrong clothes to a first date and you have lost social value to your date. If you do not dress up enough for him or her they may think that you do not care enough or think that they are special. If you dress up too much it may seem over the top and your nonverbal communication could be saying that you are showing off.


Your clothes do matter


How they fit matter also


If they are too tight it may seem to the new date that you do not care about yourself or your image and the same goes for if your clothes are too lose.


Your attention to detail

The details that you pay attention to when it comes to your body language and clothing and how other will read it may give you the upper hand on your first date.


You make sure that your shoes are polished, your gig line is straight (that is where your placket or button line on your shirt matches up with your belt buckle), your belt color matches your shoes, your clothes have been rolled with a lint brush, your grooming has been done correctly or your ear, eyebrow and nose hair have all been trimmed or dealt with in a fashion that makes you look better. All of these small things will make the difference in how the other person sees you and once again your body language will react to the other person.


Reading body language of a man while on a first date
Reading body language of a woman while on a first date


Part of the details for you to pay attention to also would be to show up on time another huge nonverbal communication of respect.


There are so many little things that go into how people read the body language of men or women and how all of those little items interact with each other to form your nonverbal communications that could be taken as signs or signals of flirting or rejection. The interpretation of your actions may be misunderstood without the proper planning.

 Reading body language is a skill you can learm here

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about body language on a first date.


Now go implement!


Scott Sylvan Bell


Photo credit:  Lovers by photostock, Romantic Honeymoon Couple by photostock

Reading body language of a first date part 2

Reading body language: First dates can cause the butterflies to pile up in the stomach especially when you take into account how much the other person is reading your body language.


Your handshake is the first kinesthetic touch from you possible new partner. Then the eye contact but before you get into the next areas did you prepare correctly? It’s not just your body language counts but so does your nonverbal communication of clothing.


That means how did you dress for your date?


Did you dress for the occasion correctly?


Reading body langauge while on a first date
Reading body language of a woman on a first date


Now for women dressing is super important and their body language will be defined by their clothes. For men you may not understand because for you it may be a matter of a pair of slacks or jeans an undershirt and a button up shirt and what about the shoes… that was too easy. The fact is it takes a woman long to put on her make up than it takes you to get dressed.


You say so what…


This has everything to do with your first date and you were about to blow it.


Now for women and their nonverbal communication of dressing the clothes, makeup, accessories and shoes are the big deal that is their non verbal communication. It’s not just the body language, if she feels good about herself then for her it will be a good first date no matter how good looking you are, how great the conversation was or even amazing coffee.


No remember you will react to the other persons body language male or female and then they will react to you. They may think that one action, signal, sign or movement means one thing because they could have heard a rumor as to what body language is. For a woman it will come down to how she feels when she dresses up.


Make the wrong comment and the great first date can be a really bad first date, but more on that later.


Now that you know what she had to go through for her outing what about you? There are a few things that you can do to screw it up. Here are a few ways:


Where or how you stand

As your first date approaches you how you are standing will make a difference, is your body language showing confidence?


Are you standing up straight?


Are you crammed in the corner?


Do you look scared or do you look calm?


Are you standing with a crowd or away from the crowd?


Reading body language signs on a first date
Reading body language of a woman on a first date


All of these things matter. If you are too far away from others it would seem that you are an outcast or possibly nervous as to meet with your first date. These cues of nonverbal action can break the date for you. If there are people at the meeting place sit just a few chairs away from them instead of sitting too far from them.


If you are going to stand and wait outside for the person being too close to the door may cause similar problems. All of these little things add up if you have never met the person before and they are a blind date or you have met on the internet.


Where and how you sit

So you have met and you passed the test and stood and waited in the right place. Now where to sit, this has everything to do with your nonverbal communication? If you sit too close to the other persons proximity this may make them nervous. If you sit too far away the other person will think that there is something wrong with you.


Now to sit the right way is your body facing theirs? Is your body facing away from the person for the first date? Now this does matter because if your body is facing away from theirs it may show that you are not into them. This may cause the person to react to your body language. The best way to sit would be a few degrees off so that you do not have full contact that may seem aggressive. You would then slowly move inwards in small increments until the both of you have built comfort and rapport as they turn inwards over time.


Turning into someone can happen in a moment or in a few minutes. Comfort may take a little longer for some to build over time than others. Depending on the man or the woman that you meet and what has happened previously in their life the timeline may change.


It is ok to sit next to the first date or away from them but remember too close or too far and there will be some repercussions.


For a guy sitting at a table sitting straight up with a slight relaxed posture would be fine the show confidence. The legs slightly spread keeps more comfort than crossing legs. For women it would be completely opposite typically crossed legs.

Slouching in the chair would have a few signs possibly of boredom or lack of interest. This body language to some would be considered offensive.  


What you touch on your body and theirs

Touching the other person beyond the handshake or the hug may take some time to build up to. Now remember different regions, countries or areas may have different beliefs in touch so this guide for the first date may not apply to everyone.


For men to touch women there are few places that can be touched that would be considered appropriate and many places that would be considered inappropriate. For men to touch women the best place to keep out of trouble is the upper arm from the elbow to the shoulder. Inappropriate places would be the upper chest, the neck or the lower back along with the legs, areas near genitalia or the belly.


Now these are general guidelines in some situations they may be thrown out the window depending upon the intention of the date from both parties.


For women to touch men there is a little more latitude when it comes to touch. Women can touch many more places and be seen as flirting but when done wrong they may seem more like sexual advances. If she goes too far above the knee it may mean more than just a touch.


There is so much to body language of the first date and this has just scratched the surface. Non verbal communication has many moving parts from clothes, to locations where to stand, to how and where to sit and even a hairstyle.

 Learn how to read body language with expertise

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about the body language of the first date.


Scott Sylvan Bell


Now go implement!


Photo credits: Man Massaging Her Wife by Ambro, Couples Sat Hand In Hand And Smile by nuttakit

Reading body language of a first date part 1

Reading body language: The first date has a huge pressure built about it to leave a fantastic impression on the person that you are meeting. It’s not just that your body language or nonverbal communication has to be great, so does what you say or your verbal communication while meeting your new potential mate for the first time.


While it may not be something that you think of you the other person is reading your body language and reacting form it either positive or negatively. Remembering that most nonverbal communication comes from your reactions to the other person’s body language are just as important as your reactions to theirs.


Reading body language signals from a first date
Reading body language on a first date understand what his body is saying

Men will react to body language differently then will that of women. Knowing what the right types of signs or signals that can be used can and will increase your chances of a better date.


Reaction is so important but is not normally talked about when discussing how to read body language or understanding and interpreting non verbal communication.


When it comes to meeting your date for the first time your body language really does matter. The situation on a first date would include:

  • ·         How you shake hands or your physical greeting
  • ·         Eye contact
  • ·         Where or how you stand
  • ·         Where and how you sit
  • ·         What you touch on your body and theirs
  • ·         What you are looking at
  • ·         What you are wearing not just for clothes but also accessories
  • ·         Your attention to details
  • ·         Your grooming style or lack of it
  • ·         Your reaction to their body language or even rapport


On a first date the first few seconds are probably just as important or even more important than the whole meeting itself. Your date will react to you either in a positive or negative reaction if they have never met you before.


The hand shake or the half hug?


Greeting a new person for the first time in real life can be awkward if you get caught up in a bad handshake of the wrong type of half hug. When reading the body language of a first date what happens when someone goes for the air kiss?


Start with a handshake, it is safe and you are not breaking the proximity rules from the “bell bubble”


Reading body language of a bad first date
Reading body langugae and understanding a first date

Now as you shake someone’s hand there is an appropriate way to do so, your hand straight up and down with a firm but not strong grasp with 3-4 easy shakes. If you go into the handshake where your hand ends up on top it may give the cue nonverbally that you think you are in control. If you go in and let your first date roll their hand over yours it may tell then unconsciously that you are weak.


Now what’s wrong with a half hug?


Everything as this is something that is saved for friends or semi friends. Now some cultures may find this a good thing to do it is a little personal, the better thing to do is to save it for the end of the date not the beginning where it will be more comfortable. If you break the “comfort factor” from the beginning you will have a tough time making a good impression. The comfort factor is the initial response that a person has when first meeting another person. This is a gut reaction and it may be wrong but people go by their gut instinct.


Now for the air kiss, once again some cultures do this and it is common, in some areas of the country it may be common. For the place where it isn’t common it isn’t a good idea to do especially if you are a man and meeting a women for the first time.


Eye contact on a first date


Your eye contact on your first date may create comfort or it may create difficulties. What you are looking at should be the person that you are meeting for the most part and not all of the other people who pass you by. This lack of contact and looking at other people is rude and if you are not into the date you are meeting for the first time then let him or her know you don’t think that the two of you will work out.


On the other hand too much eye contact is beyond creepy. Too much attention is not a good thing. Just think back to how comfortable or uncomfortable you were when someone stared at you. Now amplify this feeling because it is a first date.


50 – 60% may be the right match of eye contact in the beginning and if it feels more comfortable you can add a little more over time.


Now what you look at as body parts can get you in trouble also. Sometimes people dress in a way to get attention but even then if the person that you are meeting for a first date has dressed in a way where it is tough to keep eye contact pick an object slightly beyond them. Reading the body language of a stare will make one uncomfortable.


Staring at someone’s mouth can be seen as a sexual advance while staring at the forehead is uncomfortable. Keeping eye contact from the nose to the eyebrow can keep comfort while having a first conversation.


Reading the body language of a first date should not be difficult as long as you keep good eye contact and do not break the proximity rule from the beginning.


Learn how to be a expert at reading body language


As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about the body language or nonverbal communication of a first date.


Now go implement!


Scott Sylvan Bell


Photo Credits: Couple Getting Close In Romance by photostock, Young Couple In Bar by photostock