Reading body language of hands

Reading body language: There are so many ways that we are judged for our communication both verbally and nonverbally. When most people communicate they use their hands for some sort of gesture to add to their words and that adds to their communication.

 

The body language that is read from the use of hands to communicate can be interpreted in so many ways good or bad.

 

First off an effective communicator would not put their hands too far away from their body. This would push the hands out past the “Bell Bubble”. When other people are reading your body language in their eyes you may lose social value when your hands get too far away from your body as it may be seen as a lack of control.

 

Reading body language of the hands of women
Reading body language includes the hands

 

Social value would be your perceived value by others as they watch your body language as one complete action.

 

Reading the body language of the hands

The hands tell so much when it comes to a person and looking at them could give you a clue as to what the person does for a living. Are the hands of the man or the women that is being read by  another person:

  • ·         Smooth and soft
  • ·         Rough and callused
  • ·         Clean consistently
  • ·         Dirty and stained

 

All of these appearances of the hands will tell you what type of job that the man or woman may have. If a man has callused hands it could be a sign that the work that is done is rough. If the hands of the man are soft it may mean that he has an easy job. Now these two differences are not absolutes as someone who works with their hands may use gloves.

 

It would be wrong to judge this situation quickly because some people who work with their hands take very good care of them and it would be hard to tell what type of job they have.

 

These small clues from reading the hands can give you some information but not all of what you would need to make an informed explanation as to the state of the man.

 

Now reading the body language of a woman’s hands is similar to the hands of men. You will look for the same items when it comes to the condition of the skin. Are her hands soft and smooth or does it look and seem as if she works with them. Now if you are a man you would have to be very careful as to make an observation about a woman’s hands that is something that is saved for a woman to say to other women.

 

Reading the condition of the hands and body language

Now the condition of the skin for men or women is one thing but the fingernails are another item all together. Reading into the fingernails of the man or woman go one more step as to what the person does. There are some men and or women who don’t care what their nails look like so what does that say about the person? Not much exactly as they may not care or understand that there may be a meaning associated with the looks of their nails or they may have a job or trade where it does not matter.

 

So what kinds of jobs matter when it comes to the condition of hands and fingernails for a man or women while reading into their body language?  Professional jobs:

  • ·         Doctors – sometimes*
  • ·         Attorneys – sometimes*
  • ·         Salespeople – sometimes*
  • ·         Jewelers – sometimes*

 

*It says sometimes because only sometimes it matters and sometimes it doesn’t.

 

Reading body language of hands can explain occupation
Reading body language of mens hands

 

For jobs where it does matter what the hands look like it would be a good idea to get manicures performed too keep up the appearance of the hands to be read by others in a manner where it gives an advantage. If a man or a woman gets a manicure does it mean that they are more detailed oriented? It is possible but it doesn’t mean that they are. Does it mean that they will communicate better? It may if the man or woman is put under scrutiny for what their hands look like.   

 

So now that you have the appearance of what the hands can mean how does this really affect body language?  

 

The hands may draw a reaction like repulsion or disgust or they may even draw surprise when they are neat and clean.

 

People look at your hands and fingernails more than people would guess especially when women meet other men or women.

 

Your hands are usually in front of you when you are communicating so they are one of the first things that people may have the capability of judging once they get close to you.

 

It is important to also remember that when people are reading your body language or nonverbal communication skills they are reacting to what they believe your body language means.  

 

Reading body language of hands can help you seem like you can read the minds of others. Learn how to read body language like an expert here.

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about reading the body language of hands.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

 

Hands Concept by Idea go, Empty Handed by Michal Marcol :Photo credits for reading the body language of hands

Reading body language of fashion

Reading body language: Understanding and interpreting human behavior can take someone many places. When it comes to reading body language there are so many things to look at to determine what someone is thinking and in a way people who are good at reading body language may sometimes come across as clairvoyant or even mind readers.

 

There are some significant items to look at while interpreting nonverbal communication and in some instances these items may carry more weight in given situations.

 

One item in specifics that may give a huge insight as to what people are saying without saying is it is their choice for fashion.

 

Reading the body language of a CEO

Think about it this way for a second. If you were to look at a fortune 500 CEO and see him in his custom business suit would his body language read differently while he was in his uniform vs if he were out on a beach working on a tan in board shorts?

 

The answer would depend upon the CEO and how they view themselves but for the most part a person’s attire will directly affect their actions verbally and nonverbally.

 

For some people what they decide to wear becomes their outfit to become a super hero. Now this may or may not sound strange but some people build their confidence from what they wear. If they are in some attire that they feel makes them better for any given reason they become more confident.

 

There are some people who don’t care about what they wear and there are others who care about what they wear because of the opinion of their peers.  

 

In a business setting with one of these CEO’s their attire may cause them to be seen as a hero or as a villain to their peers.

 

Reading the body language of fashion attire causes one to question, is the person wearing their outfit, gear or costume because they want to or because of the peer pressure to fit into a mold or category that has been defined by another person or group.

 

Take for instance the CEO who is in the board shorts, would his message be the same visually if he were to give a presentation in those board shorts vs. in his custom suit?

 

Is there a reason that his suit would need to be custom because it is expected or because he or even she is worried about what people think of their fashion sense or style?

 

The answer may be both reasons. He or she may need to wear their attire that is specified to fit into the mold that has been created and followed since who knows when.

 

For a man who would be used to some of the custom labels like Canali or Ermenegildo Zegna with a super 160 fabric or higher, an off the rack suit basic super 110 fabric may destroy his confidence (for the intents of this article the higher the number on the fabrics the better the wool used). This could be the same for his tie, shirts, shoes and even cuff links. In some instances peoples watches can be their super hero attire that they use for confidence.

 

Reading body language of fashion and women
Reading body langauge of fashionable clothing

 

Reading body language of women and fashion

Some women and even men are really into fashion. The designer for them really matters, the colors of the clothes really matter, the fit really matters and even the materials really matter.

 

Name off a bunch of designers and these people would know who they are easily: Versace, Dior, Vivienne Westwood, Salvatore Ferragamo, Tom Ford, Brioni, Armani, Prada and they could talk about each of their fashion lines. Now these names could go on forever whether European or even some of the American designers.

 

When someone is confident and comfortable their body language reads entirely different from when a person is uncomfortable and lacks confidence and clothing plays a big part of that.

 

Confident people tend to:

  • ·         Walk more smoothly as it almost seems as an unlabored glide
  • ·         Sit up straight more consistently
  • ·         They may keep their hands away from their body as protection
  • ·         Their breathing pattern may be relaxed
  • ·         There is more of a calmness to them overall
  • ·         Verbally they seem to talk faster with an almost exacting knowledge

 

Some people gather these feelings and abilities from what they wear.

 

Reading into the body language of a man or woman who is uncomfortable would show:

  • ·         A general lack of confidence throughout their body, they may try to make themselves smaller in stature to not stand out.
  • ·         Some stress in their facial expressions and even sometimes sheer fear or frustration could be seen in the reactions
  • ·         Maybe a rapid pace of breathing almost to a panic
  • ·         A haphazard approach to their nonverbal actions where they would not seem consistent or smooth. In some instances they would seem out of place
  • ·         They may be shifty or fidgety with their hands playing with buttons or even a pen

 

Reading the body language of a man or woman’s fashion may show both the positives and negatives of their nonverbal communication.

 

For a man or woman who is used to being seen in a specific clothing style or designer they may have problems appearing in public or in the board room in something that would not be deemed good or desirable from their peers.

 

Women love their shoes and they are not just and accessory they make the outfit, if they had to show up somewhere in a pair of shoes that would get them ridiculed by other women their confidence would be decreased for the most part and their body language would show the signs of their stress. A women who is used to wearing $2,500 Christian Louboton shoes may have trouble going out for a night in $20 off brand basics especially if she knows that she will be judged by other women.

 

Reading body language of fashion and women
Reading body language of fashion through deisgner brands

 

Reading body language of purses and watches with confidence

Celebrity women or even just regular women may also need to have the latest or greatest purse or handbag by one of the top designers Hermes comes to mind with their $25,000 Birkin Bag. Sometimes just this article alone can be the device used as the super hero powers like a man and his Rolex or other similar watch that shows status to the rest of the world.

 

Some men or women seem to float as they walk by with their fashionable attire. In some instances this float may become arrogance or may even make up for a lack of confidence. The body language that is read may sow contempt to the people who are around them for whatever reason or the man or the woman may just turn their nose up at others around them.

 

Take away some of these peoples status symbols of fashion or accessories and the men or women lose their super-secret special powers and abilities.

 

Reading body language of fashion and designers may help you understand and interpret why a person has confidence of lacks it.

 

Reading body language homework

You have something in your closet or drawers that make you a super hero or feel like a villain sit down for a moment and figure out if those items or that single item is your source of confidence or if you are confident in general. It is a help to know what makes you feel better when your body language is being read and needs to project confidence and knowledge. For some it may be a tie, a suit, a watch, underwear, a pair of slingbacks (that’s a type of women’s shoe for the men who are reading think high heels), a bag or even a big fat diamond ring.

 

Take the time to understand why these items make you feel better and become your own internal super hero and it may surprise you what you find out.

 

Reading body language like an expert is a skill that can be learned. Understanding and interpreting nonverbal communication is a strategy that can help you in business life as well as your social life.

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or question about reading the body language of fashion.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Two Teenage Girls Shopping by photostock, Gorgeous Woman Picking Her Choice by photostock:Photo credits for reading body language of fashion  

Reading body language of mirroring and rapport

Reading body language: People have the ability to build comfort while in the presence of others and the body language of rapport will give that comfort and that comes through the use of mirroring. All of these fancy words can be summed up as a way to help others be like you or you be like them.

 

First off for someone to be comfortable you will have to understand what the other person is doing with their body.

 

You must ask yourself a few questions to help build rapport and to use mirroring correctly.

 

Is the target person in a good or bad mood? This is important because you will need to know what is comfortable when mirroring and what is not because you will need to be similar.

 

Reading body language of mirroring
Reading body language skill of mirroring

You must also determine what your intention is and what you want to do, are you just trying to build comfort or mirror the person or are you trying to build rapport because they are two separate things.

 

Using body language by mirroring others to build comfort

Mirroring would just be to copy the actions of another person to build comfort as rapport follows after another word for this would be synchronicity.

 

When you mirror the body language that you read of the other person you will make similar actions that they do. Now there are some mistakes that people make when mirroring the body language of others to help build rapport:

  • Mirroring too quickly
  • Trying to hard to build comfort non verbally by being too similar

 

When you copy the body language of another person to mirror you will want to do this slowly and not at the same exact time as the other person this would be uncomfortable and the other person subconsciously or consciously would think something strange would be going on.

 

By moving too quickly you will give up your strategy and it may build mistrust.

 

If you are sitting and the target person crosses their legs you would wait a few seconds and cross your legs in a similar fashion it would not have to be exact.

 

If the person that you are mirroring reacts to changing their body language by changing theirs you have made a mistake at this point you would need to slow down. This going too quickly when mirroring others would fall into the trying too hard by doing to many items as the target person.

 

You don’t have to be in the exact position as the other person just similar this is where the trying too hard comes in.

 

Body language reading can help you build rapport

If the goal is to build comfort through the use of body language or non verbal communication taking your time with the other person is the key to both of these items.

 

Building rapport is a term used in Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP it means that you are similar, not exact and that happens from mirroring another person. Synchronicity would be another explanation of rapport. Similar but not exact is key.

 

  • The person slouches in their chair and then so do you a few seconds or even a minute later in a similar fashion but not exact.
  • The person folds their arms and then so do you a few seconds or even a minute later in a similar fashion but not exact.
  • The person crosses their legs and then so do you a few seconds or even a minute later in a similar fashion but not exact.

 

Once again the key here is similar but not exact and a little slower than the other person.

 

Reading body language of building rapport
Reading body language while building rapport

The places that you can use mirroring and rapport can be numerous.

  • Work
  • Dating
  • At a party
  • At the coffee shop
  • At church

 

The places and times that you can use this body language skill are endless. Learning how to read the signs and signals of body language can be done through practicing mirroring to gain rapport.

Body language reading assignment

To learn how to build rapport by mirroring you can use a simple strategy to learn this talent.

 

Decide to spend some time out for an hour somewhere that there are other people who you can mirror. The best thing is to not attract too much attention to yourself and just be similar to a person that you choose. Now this target can be a man or a woman and it doesn’t matter their age.

 

Do as much of your work mirroring and build rapport through your peripheral vision. Remember to go slow and make your moves a little slower than the other person. As your starting to gain rapport you will notice yourself starting to want to move faster this is a sign that you are getting close to rapport.  This also means that your body language reading is close to what it needs to be.

 

After accepting this assignment that will not only help you learn how to read body language but will also give you the skill of mirroring and then building rapport. You may just find while doing this skill building exercise that the people that you mirror and then build rapport with will approach you in some instances.

 

This exercise may just help you get a new boyfriend or girlfriend in a covert way without them knowing why they were attracted to you. You may just gain a new client or even help yourself get out of a tense situation.

 

 Learn how to read body language like an expert

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about mirroring and rapport.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Romantic Young Couple Enjoying Their Love by photostock,Fashion Models by photostock  :Body language reading photo credits

Reading body language when hugging

Reading body language: There are many mysteries on this planet that has baffle people and scientists for years and that is understanding or reading the body language when hugging.

 

Ok so the scientists are not baffled in most instances but many times people are in general when it comes to interpreting hugs between people.

 

Think about the last time that you received a hug from someone and how would you categorize the person who gave you the hug, were they:

  • ·         A friend
  • ·         A relative
  • ·         A significant other
  • ·         A stranger

 

Now reading body language when hugging you really have to determine what category the other person falls into for the basic hugs out there. Interpreting hugs will help you determine what type of relationship people have or even

 

Reading body language when men and women hug
Reading body language of a hug

 

Reading the body language when giving or receiving a full hug

A full hug is what you see goods friends or people who are in a relationship give. The body language or non verbal cues come from the proximity or distance apart that the people are when giving a full hug. The two people in question are comfortable enough to not just touch shoulders but embrace and allow the rest of their bodies touch. This is something that would be uncomfortable for people who are not close to perform without strange facial expressions or even making the embrace faster than what should seem normal.

 

Reading the body language when giving or receiving a full hug with embrace

Now a full hug with an embrace is a full hug but longer almost to say nonverbally this is a hug that has been waiting a long time to happen. Normally you will see this when the people in question are very good friends or intimate. You would see this type of hug in the news when a Marine or soldier comes home after a long tour and hugs his or her significant other. It’s a long hug but almost may seem like a celebration at the same time.

 

There is more to this hug than meets the eye, when a person hugs another person and wraps their arms around the other person fully it takes
plenty of trust on the part of the person who is getting the hug. This is not a simple act. Sometimes people who are cheating get caught this way, the hug is too familiar. People who receive full hugs are not strangers and this hug is not an accident or casual.

 

Reading body language of a half hug when in public  

The first hug would be a half hug. This is where you may stand side to side with a person and use one arm to hug the other person as they hug you. Reading this body language would give you the idea that the person is an acquaintance or a relatively new friend. This hug is safe for those involved because it really has no jealous problems that could arise with most people. The half hug may be used in a social situation where there are many people to meet and greet with.

 

The types of people who could give you a half hug would be friends, relatives, sometimes significant others but it may be uncomfortable for a stranger to give a half hug depending on regions or countries. In the United States there is a barrier for most people when it comes to touching someone unknown for some.

Reading body language when women give a half hug
Reading body language when men give a half hug

Reading the body Language when giving a A frame hug

The A frame hug is an unusual type of hug when seen from people who are observing 2 people use this type of embrace. This is where the two people hugging don’t want to get too close to each other but lean forward to meet and give a hug, from a distance it looks like the two people are making an A. Now this may be a bro hug where one arm is used to wrap around the other person or it could even be a full hug where both parties wrap their arms around each other. This encounter may seem unusual because the body language shows a lack of comfort. The whole aura is this hag may even mage bystanders who are reading the body language subconsciously uncomfortable.  

 

 

Reading body language when giving an leaning A frame hug

Leaning A frame hug is similar to the full A frame hug but done from the side as a half hug. Once again the people observing this non verbal communication may read into the situation and see the people as possible friends, people who are have a stressful relationship or even new acquaintances. This type of hug can also be seen from people who are first dating or pre teens this can be commonly seen after school or at malls for this range of ages.

 

A hug can mean something or a hug can mean nothing, it depends upon the situation and the context of where the people are.

 

If you would like to learn how to read body language like an expert, this would be your best resource to understand and interpret body language and read situations.

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about reading and interpreting the body language of hugs.   

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Photo Credits: Hugging Young Couple by photostock

Reading body language of flirting men and women part 3

Reading body language: While reading and interpreting the body language of flirting by men or women the head, eyes, mouth and eyebrows have been discussed.

 

Determining what communication is while flirting for some can be a challenge when they try to read men or women’s body language.

 

The hands and the body are the two physical things that can be touched or used to flirt with men or women.

 

Reading body language and how women flirt
Reading body language signs and signals of flirting

 

There are times where touching the other person in order to flirt happen for both sexes. There are challenges with the body language of flirting because it is easy to go too far quickly and cross the line of appropriate actions.

 

While flirting with the hands touching the other person’s body can be done in a few places that right off would be along the realms of appropriate. The first safe place is the upper arm the second place would be the forearm and lastly the hand may be the last place that would be considered appropriate.  

 

Now there are some people who are just more “touchy” than other and may just come across as a big flirt and that is why you would have to look at the body language of the man or the woman who you consider flirting with you. Some of what you would have to consider would be their verbal actions but for the most part most flirting would come across as non verbal.

 

To determine if someone is flirting with you by touch you would have to consider the other signs of flirting.

 

Is the man or woman using the other nonverbal communication skills: A head tilt, the arching of eyebrows a wink, fluttering their eyes, licking their lips or even staring at the mouth? Those are all ways that flirting can happen.

 

The last part of flirting and body language would be contact with the body. There are times where men or women could be completely overt in their actions while flirting. For men or women a body brush can happen or occur. This is where someone brushes up against you and there was not a need. Now if you are in a crowded place it does not mean that someone is interested if they brush against you but if some of the other signs of flirting with body language are used you may have a man or a woman who is interested in you.

 

The body language of flirting can also use proximity or the distance that one person is from the person who they may be flirting with. In most instances the interested person will draw closer to the person that they are flirting with.

Now whether the person is close in proximity or a little further away “preening” may be used as a way to gain attention. The preening that could be used may include:

  • ·         Playing with hair
  • ·         Fixing clothing are fixing an accessory
  • ·         Rubbing a body part as a way to accentuate that specific area and in some instances this may be an explicit action.

 

Reading body language and signs of flirting
Reading body language and the signs of flirting by touch

 

Some of these actions while reading the body language of flirting can be seen directly while some of these actions may be a little more covert. The beast plan of action is to understand what each action means before having to interpret them incorrectly.  

 

Taking your time to learn how to read body language or non verbal communication of flirting and seduction can help you understand more about human relations.  

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about reading body language or nonverbal communication.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Photo credits:  Business Women by photostock, Asian Model Woman-Thai Ethnicity Beauty by posterize

Reading body langauge of men part 1

Reading body language: When reading the body language of men there are a few things that you must do in order to interpret their activities. Communication skills for men or women go far beyond just having a verbal conversation, what is the body saying while the words are being used?

 

If you are a woman looking for a date or even someone in business who is trying to get an upper hand you may find it easy to understate the value of understanding the body signals and interactions of men.

 

Reading body language or nonverbal communication can be as difficult as you want to make it but for the most part reading the body language of men may be less complex than reading the body language of women.  

 

With reading the body language of men or women the first thing to do is to look at the situation first to baseline what is going on. Using this simple 9 step process you can determine what his body language signals are saying nonverbally.

 

The body language of men and their postions
How to interpret the body language of men

Step 1 – Reading men’s body language – What is the proximity?

 

Understanding body language begins with looking at the context of the situation; are the people close or are the far apart. By close are they within the bell bubble or 18 inches (45cm) from each other or is the distance greater?

 

The distance between the man and the other or others will determine how close the person or the people are as friends or if they are strangers. Usually people who are intimate as friends in that they have known each other for a while can enter into the 18 inch barrier (45 cm) and show no signs of discomfort or lack of trust.

 

Now this 18 inch (45 cm) barrier is a general guideline and not an absolute there are some men or women who have a 36 inch (91cm) proximity comfort zone while some men or women may not mind another person being near them even close enough for touch.  

 

The proximity of people and men will determine what communication is taking place and how intense or how intimate the interactions are.  

When women flirt with men sometimes they will touch or enter closer into the man with proximity. Now with flirting it does not always mean that the woman will get closer to the man in proximity but it can happen.

 

Step 2 – Reading men’s body language – What position is the body in?

 

Once you have determined how far away the person or the people are away from each other you can now look at the position of the body.

 

Knowing the position of the body will clue you in to understand what the context of the situation is.

  • ·         Is the man standing
  • ·         Is the man sitting
  • ·         Is the man leaning
  • ·         Is the other person or people in relation to the man doing similar activities or are they in other positions?

 

The context will tell you what type of interaction that the person or group should have. This information will set the stage for base lining the signs and the signals that the man should have with his body language.

 

Typically if he is sitting the other people should be sitting also, if he is standing the other people or person should be standing also. Now this is a general rule and not always an absolute as in many instances with body language.

If the man is flirting with a woman he may draw in closer to her and position himself so that he has a communication advantage with her.   

 

 Step 3 – Reading men’s body language – Look at his hands

 

Looking at a man’s hands when he is interacting with others may define the situation as it is happening.  The hands will determine the situation and some of the context along with defining some of the proximity.

 

Learn how to read the body language of men
Reading the body language of men for flirting

Depending upon the situation and the amount of people the hands will show if:

  • ·         There is common ground between the two people ar the group
  • ·         Aggression between the people or the person in question
  • ·         How close intimate the group is and sometimes it may judge how long they have known each other

 

When people are under stress or duress their hands will normally close as a way that begins the protection process. When people are about the fight they ball up their fists and will leave them at their sides in order to make a strike. Almost every time when people have their fists balled up it is to help “protect” the body subconsciously.

 

If the hands are flat open it is normally a sign that things are ok and not aggressive. Nonverbally the hands say and determine much of the body language.

 

Is the man holding something? If he is holding a drink is it in front of him where it is a barrier? If the man does hold the drink in front of him it may show a lack of confidence or a non verbal barrier to keep others away.

 

If the man is holding a drink to his side it may just mean that he is comfortable. It may not always be a drink that the man is holding it may be a book, it may be a briefcase it could even be a jacket. Know that just because there is something in front of the man it does not mean that he lacks confidence.

 

The hands of a man sometimes will be open or more animated when fliting and may even do so when the man is excited in general.

 

First determine proximity then the position and then the hands and you can understand why his body language is acting the way it is even without verbal communication.

 

Next up will be the next 3 steps in reading men’s body language.

 

 As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about reading body language.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Photo credits: Handsome Young Man Looking Up by photostock, Young Man by photostock

 

Reading the body language of car salesmen

Reading body language: Car salespeople almost invoke the same amount of fear into people as IRS agents. Being able to read the body language or non-verbal communication of car salesmen may just take away some of the fear before you walk on the lot.

 

Before you read the body language of a car salesman it is important to know what your body language is doing or what your communication is doing nonverbally. If you are uncertain of anything your nonverbal communication will show this.

 

Now there are times to be scared but dealing with salespeople is just like dealing with anyone else. Time will be what is on your side or what is against you. Your body language will show hungry or tired so the best game plan of going into a dealership means that you have enough sleep. When you get hungry your defenses go down and you will make decisions that you may not have wanted to previously. You will have issues of buying if you are tired.

 

For you have the best chances of getting what you want it is a good idea to eat before you go to a car lot and to also bring some food and drinks with you. Now besides getting your loan from a bank or credit union before you show up on the car lot food, drinks and a calculator are the best things to have in your arsenal.

 

On your end while buying a car your body language can give up your position or your beliefs.  The best thing for you to remember on your side is to not give up too much reaction or too much emotion. Be careful to not show:

  • ·         Fear
  • ·         Anger
  • ·         Frustration
  • ·         Excitement at some stages

 

Now as you enter a car lot there are things that you should know. On any lot there are behind the scene games going on and you enter the game without even knowing. As you drive up there is a “fight” between salesmen as to who is going to get to talk to you. In some instances it is up to who is selling or who is not.

 

As you get out of your car you may be given up on by the salesman who wanted you as a “client” previously because the way that you look or the clothes that you are wearing.

 

You will be approached by a rogue salesperson who may ask if they can help you. For some dealerships this may not be able to happen until you put your hands in your pockets or look tawards the front of the building. If hand in the pockets are needed of or the look to the building is required the people who are the spotters will signal the salespeople to meet with you.

 

Your first salesperson is there to read your body language and get some information from you to see if you are a good potential client for the sales team. If you are a difficult buyer and the salesmen is experienced he will signal the people in the tower who are watching to send over a new salesperson in a few minutes.

 

This signal that he uses will seem like normal body language, he may straighten his, run his hands through his hair, adjust his jacket or even actually signal with his hands in a way that you just think that he is using nonverbal communication.

 

The salesman is reading everything about you, he has more than likely done this before and you are not the first person that he has “sold” something to. He or she will be able to tell more about you than you think just from a few minutes, yes you are being judged and it may not be fair to you but that is how it works.

 

Once you decide you want to take the car for a test drive you enter into a sales funnel and everything has been engineered for you to buy something.

  • ·         The test drive is meant for you to take ownership and get used to being behind the wheel.
  • ·         Part of the test drive should be on the freeway to get the feel of what it is like to go to work
  • ·         Driving on the side streets is to get the feel of what it is like to drive to the store
  • ·         If you are married or in a relationship it is now time to switch seats and get the other person to drive.

 

You look at the other person and give the “nod” or “wink” and the salesperson reads your body language and know that it is time to go deeper into the funnel.

 

You go back to the dealership and go from a large lot to a big office and then into a smaller cubicle. There are signs everywhere that are meant to prime you with numbers to get you used to seeing dollar amounts as high or higher than monthly payments or even as much as the car. The signs around the area will have people smiling or families together once again more primes.

 

You then sit at a round table and you are sat together so that the salesman can watch the both of you being separated is a difficult thing to deal with because the salesman cannot see you make signals or winks. Know that in some places there may be cameras to look for your nonverbal communication and to look for your readiness to move forward.

 

Being brought to a smaller area is done on purpose to make you feel tighter, closer but also to control you more.  

 

The car salesman may give off more covert signals to his helpers once again along the lines of a hand sign, moving a tie, tying a shoe or just about a million other nonverbal communications to signal where the sales call is going.

 

Know that the more that you are consumed with information the more difficult it may be to keep up so that small items are slipped in. Using a 4 square sales process is a way that the information difficult to keep up with.

 

The salesman is looking at your body language bit also listening to phrases you say like: “When we get this car home” or even “I can’t wait to take this car to….” Your words are signs that you desire ownership.

 

At this point whatever “deal” you came up with will fall through and the salesperson may get disappointed and show signs of stress with his body language. The salesman may rub his head, his chin or the back of his neck. He may say things like: I cant believe this has happened” or “let me go talk to my manager”. This is all done on purpose to give you and the other person with you time to talk and get your game plan together. No in some places the sales floor may have a microphone on it and what you are saying may be head, in some places you may be on video and your nonverbal communication is being watched.

 

The salesguy or girl will come back with a counter offer and get excited for what he or she came up with. The deal that he or she has will be slightly more than what you wanted but you will be asked to see if you can make the payment or take a car with fewer options for the same amount as the car that you were shown.

 

Once again your body language will be watched for your buying signs and or signals. The phone may ring with a last minute offer and the call is scripted and in some instances there may be tones in the phone that tell the salesman what type of credit you have. His body language has been scripted and he or she has been coached as to what to do exactly, it is no mistake.

 

From here you either make the deal or you do not. Know that you becoming tired and putting time into the situation are done on purpose because once people have invested significant time into something they typically will not walk away. Know that if you are slightly tired or hungry it is easier to get to yes and a sale.

 

A little of this information will go past body language but it is good to know what you will do and pay before you go to the car lot. Having your budget set and knowledge of your credit helps you more than you would know. Having financing before you go to the car lot will give you an upper hand with negotiating but remember reading body language for you and the salesperson has a great deal to do with reactions.

 

Know that there are many great salespeople who will do the right thing for you in most situations and just like everything else there will be those few who ruin it for the “good guys”. As a side note not all car lots are bad or use deceptive behavior but it is good to know what to look for when there are the ones who bend the rules of ethics.

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about body language.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Photo credits:

Reading body language: Are you making these common nonverbal mistakes?

Reading body language: How do I avoid making people uncomfortable while communicating effectively? This is a common question that is asked of those who know how to explain body language or nonverbal communication.

 

The answer isn’t always that simple.

 

Sometimes people just don’t get it or they just don’t care. When communicating with others there are nonverbal things that can be done to make the people who are being spoken to entirely uncomfortable and when these offenses are done it could be a complete accident or the pther person is oblivious as to what they do.

 

Have you ever walked away from a person and have not understood why you were uncomfortable with what they said to you, or it could have been you were just creeped out and walked away with the chills?

 

Chances were that the body language or the non verbal communication skills of the offender were not that good or they were just someone who lacked social skills so that their style of communication was unusual and or very uncomfortable.

 

Do you make these common body language mistakes?

 

Here are some of the ways that you can unconsciously offend those around you and cause your message to not be delivered. Now it doesn’t matter if you are in sales, looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend or just talking to a friend you can make these mistakes.

 

Body language of the eyes: Now for many people visual contact will make or break the way that your message is or not delivered. It usually isn’t the lack of eye contact that causes a problem it is the location at which the people look. Here is the most common issues that people find themselves in besides lack of eye contact:

 

  • ·         Staring at the lips, not this is usually a sign of sexual advance and not the best way to nonverbally communicate while talking to a man or a woman unless it is a sexual advance that you want.
  • ·         Staring at body parts, now for men it is difficult to look at some women without  looking at specific places especially when the clothing allows a distraction.
  • ·         Shifty eyes, there are some people who just look at everything and it seems as if there may be a possible drug problem.
  • ·         When having a conversation with a person the best area to look at is across the eyebrows to the bottom of the nose. If you would like to make a person uncomfortable you can stare at their chin or forehead and this can be used as a ploy for some negotiators.

The rules of nonverbal communication include proximity

 

When it comes to making people uncomfortable with body language next on the list would be proximity or how close people are to you. There are a few offenses that people can make when it comes to not understanding proximity that should be used in a given situation. Here are the most common mistakes that people make when identifying the distance that can be comfortable while communicating.

 

  • ·         Standing too close to the person who you are talking to. This is uncomfortable and causes the person to not listen to the message but question in their head “why is this person standing so close” the whole time you are talking to the
  • ·         The opposite of standing too close would to have a conversation form an uncomfortable distance. When communicating either verbally or nonverbally there is an acceptable distance to stand away from the person who is communicating with you. If you are too far away it just seems strange and doesn’t feel like the message can be delivered. The communication is strained and then has a tough time being effective.

 

Does body language include touching another person, or is that seduction?

 

Last on the list of uncomfortable body language or nonverbal communication skills is touch. If you are a man there is a double standard for sure when it comes to touching another person. It is perfectly acceptable for a woman to touch a man or a woman but when the situation is the other way around it is not always acceptable for a man to touch a woman. This is a social norm you can’t really change.

 

Some people will move too quickly with touch if they are attracted to the other person, it may seem like it is a hypnotic response where touch seems required in their mind but it is too much too soon.

 

  • ·         Touching someone too soon into a conversation or even a relationship is not a good idea. Kinesthetic people or those who are more touchy feely have a tough time with this boundary and then do not understand why there is such a bad reaction to their style of communicating. If you touch a person before you have acceptable rapport can cause mistrust or even cause a confrontation. This can be confused by them because they as a kinesthetic person do not have a problem standing or sitting in close proximity to another person.
  • ·         Touching someone in an inappropriate place is a huge offense. Now you may not think that some places would be off limits so the best place to touch a woman is usually on the upper arm from between the elbow to the shoulder. If you do not know the person very well the upper arm is the only location to touch besides the top of the hand when appropriate. Now this rule may be entirely different if you are trying to attract or even seduce another person.  

 

Your ability to deliver an effective message is up to you. Your body language and non verbal communication skills are going to determine what people think when they are done with a conversation with you. What communication is may not always be defined by you.

 

To learn more about the different styles of learning or modalities NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming would be a good start to build better rapport or even to learn how to communicate more effectively. This would include kinesthetic, visual and even auditory modalities of learning.

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comment and or questions about body language.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Photo credits:

Reading body language: How to spot a liar part 2

Reading body language: When reading the body language of deception or lies there is a long list of items to look at to determine if a man or woman is lying.

 

There is one universal body part to look at while determining if nonverbal communication is accurate.

 

While reading the body language of a man or woman it is important to get a feel for their normal activities or body language signs that are normal for them. When you have taken the time to learn people body language signals that they use when they are being inaccurate it will almost seem that you can read minds or that you are clairvoyant.   

 

Take for instance a person who is nervous when they are under pressure they will have certain things that they do constantly. It could be that they:

  • ·         Rub their hands
  • ·         Sweat when nervous
  • ·         Dressed different than what they are comfortable in
  • ·         Shift more than normal
  • ·         Licking their lips
  • ·         Playing with their hair
  • ·         Touching their face
  • ·         Abnormal movement in their chair or seat
  • ·         Lack of eye contact or over excessive eye contact
  • ·         Breath differently taking deep breathes or even staggered breaths
  • ·         Tap their feet on the ground or their hands on a table
  • ·         Directing the feet towards an exit

 

Now everyone has a go to body language or non verbal “tell” when they are nervous and it is important to identify it when possible. This idea has been mentioned quite a few times in order to remind you that under any given circumstance people will react in a specific way. This nonverbal “tell” may even include a facial expression or a signature movement with the hands or even a nod. The problem is that many times “tells” of nervousness can be the same tells that a person uses when they are lying.

 

How to tell if someone is lying with body language
Is my girlfriend cheating on me signs of body langugae

 

How to tell if a man or woman is lying!

 

So what happens if you meet a person for the first time and you don’t have a lot of time to determine if they are telling you the truth? There are a few things that will help determine if what they are saying is as accurate as their body language.

 

One way is that their story may be too good to be true or over told to make up what they think would be a deficiency in their own story. In this example the story may seem like it is pushed through and either overly detailed in areas that you would not normally ask about or seem like the story is too fast and there are too many holes that do not make sense. You would be able to look for abnormal actions like touching the face or even using the lobster claw of deception.

 

One way that commonly gets confused when it comes to reading body language especially when it comes to lying is that of the direction and orientation of the eyes.

 

NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming teaches that by looking at the location of the iris of the eye can determine the modality of learning for a person meaning are they:

  • ·         Visual or a person who learns from sight and sees what is going on.
  • ·         Kinesthetic or a person that learns and is comfortable with touch or feels their way through things.
  • ·         Auditory or a person who learns from hearing what needs to be done and listens intently.

 

Now there is an age old fairy tale that explains that when people look up and to the left there is fabricating going on or there may be a lie going on. In NLP this would signify visual construction (Vc) and if the person looked up and to the right this would signify visual remembered (Vr). The reason that this is thought of as a big deal is because in this theory visual construction means making up a story, fabrication or changing the story or even flat out lying.

 

NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming is not always right when it comes to any of their teachings but it does construct good guidelines for the way that things can be. When it comes to body language or non verbal communication there is not any rule that is 100% usable every time.

 

This theory of visual reconstruction would be great except that it is wrong and has been proven through a few studies done including one performed by Dr. Kevin Hogan. Police use this in interrogations, the military uses this style of lie detecting while interpreting stories about actions people have taken.

 

In some instances when men or women are lying they will not look at you while they are talking, now this may not mean that there is a lie directly going on but there is definitely something wrong with whatever they are talking about. This would also go with direct eye contact or looking someone in the eye. Now if a person has too much eye contact with you it is uncomfortable but if they do not make enough or if they break away too long at the wrong time it may be that there is a lie involved.

A good skilled liar knows this and may make the correct amount of eye contact and not really give off any signs of a lie. Most of the time when this situation happens you are dealing with a great manipulator and this type of person is great at guilting you into thinking that all of the problems and or issues are your fault. This is usually their giveaway more than
their body language and it is a verbal sign.

How to tell if your boyfriend is cheating on you
is my boyfriend cheating on me

Places to use body language signs or signals

 

Now where else could you use this information? There are plenty of places:

  1. 1.      A Job interview
  2. 2.      Dating or seduction
  3. 3.      Determining if a boyfriend or girlfriend is lying about where they were last night

 

Now what happens if you jump to conclusions too soon while reading the body language of males or females? You lose contracts, relationships, friends and you can even make some enemies. Understanding or interpreting body language and non verbal communication means you must be able to separate fact from fiction when it comes to knowing what is real and can help you or what is sometimes correct.

 

People have a tough enough time believing information and adding in the layer of detecting lies through nonverbal communication and half-truths makes this task even more difficult.    

 

What is body language? That answer will be up to you and what you think the other person communication is and how they fill in the voids of what you thinks as the viewer.

 

It is entirely possible for you to read a situation the wrong way and your reaction as it has been explained previously is what will cause a reaction in the other person. You must take the time to baseline people and understand their actions and why they perform them unless you are in a situation where you have to make a split second decision then go the direction where it keeps you the safest.

 

One of the biggest mistakes that can be made is believing that one “tell” of a body language sign or signal is a definite. One of these items is the blinking rate of a person or touching the face means that there is a definite lie. In either instance when a person uses these “tells” this is an area where something just inst quite right but does not mean that there is a definite lie. Making the mistake of saying there is an absolute tell of lying would be inaccurate. These examples could be used for politicians all the way to salespeople.

 

The key is to take you time to understand what peoples actions mean nonverbally.

 

As always I would like to thank you for your comments and or questions.

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Photo credits: Man by Salvatore Vuono, Woman On The Phone by Stuart Miles

Reading body language: The non verbal language of women part 3

Reading body language of women: Understanding female body language includes non verbal communication, apparel and accessories. Looking at what women decide to wear can help you determine many thins about them but specifically what women decide to wear can teach you many things about her non verbal communication.

 

When reading the body language of women there is one single item that almost every time is the one accessory that she will worry about more than anything else..

 

Now as a side note when a woman gets dressed is she more interested in dressing for the men or for the women?

 

Reading body language of women for seduction or attraction
Attract women with this nonverbal communication skill

 

Quick answer for the man or for the women?

 

Many times when women get dressed up they are doing what they can to not have other women discuss what they are wearing or how they are wearing it.

 

Many times when it comes to reading the body language of women of their non verbal communication to be more specific men do not even think of this.

 

Women know that for the most part they can do what they like for the most part and some of that may include flirting or seduction and most guys will eat this act up.

 

On the other hand the women are competing against each other for status or attention.

 

Ok so you do not believe this:

 

Next time you go out for a night on the town and you are in a small venue look at how women scan the room to check out their competition so that they “know” what they are up against.

 Know what to look at when determining female body language

They check out the other woman’s:

  • ·         Hair to see if the cut is nice and current
  • ·         Her makeup to see how it was applied
  • ·         Her top or blouse to see how it fits or even possibly to see if it is a designer label
  • ·         Her jewelry to see how extravagant it is or if she has a trophy ring (that means its big and that would equal her man has money for some reason the bugger the ring the more he loves her)
  • ·         Her chest to see what she is stacked against
  • ·         Her waist line to see if she is overweight
  • ·         Her backside to see if she is fit
  • ·         What type of nylons or possible legging she has on
  • ·         Lastly they look at other women’s shoes

 

All of these items are then added up in some mental mathematical size up and then deducted from her beauty or lack of and then a decision is made about what type of competition *she* is.

 

Now in all of this there is one accessory that has more weight than most items…

 

… and that would be her shoes.

 

If you are a man and you think you know about the non verbal communication of women and you don’t include her shoes into the equation you have made a mistake.

 

For women shoes make the outfit and are the keys to the kingdom.

 

Readinge the nonverbal communication of women and their shoes
Learn how to read the body language of women

 

Guys worry about their body language sometimes if they think about it. What women worry about has many more aspects they worry about facial expressions or features, body language signals, non verbal signs of flirting and so much more.

 

How understanding the body language of women can help with attraction

 

Now if you wanted to impress that special woman that you meet one of the best ways to grab her attention may be something you may have thought of as a joke.

 

The best non-verbal feature to comment on for a woman is her shoes. Now if you are looking to strike a conversation in a manner where you may be attracted or flirting there does have to be some finesse when it comes to making the comment on one of the most important accessories ever made for a woman.

 

Guys look at shoes as a part of clothing women look at shoes as one of the single most important inventions ever next to chocolate. For woman shoes make and finish or complete the outfit. For guys they are just boxes and boxes of costly shoes in the closet with funny names:

  • ·         Peeps
  • ·         Sling backs
  • ·         Pumps
  • ·         Flats
  • ·         Wedge
  • ·         Loafers

And the list can go on not to mention the designers who make them Jimmy Choo, Stuart Weitzman, Vera Wang, Prada, Christian Louboutin, Dior and so many more.

 

For guys or men there is no comparison for articles of clothing.  For women this *is* everything because more time is worried about shoes than the clothes that are worn. This is the non-verbal key.

 

Now if you want to master the skill of attraction, seduction or if you just want to impress a woman comment on how her shoes compliment or finish her outfit.  There is one bit of warning if you do this complement too soon in the conversation she will pick up on your fake complement and if you slide it in too late it will not fit in the conversation.

 

Reading female body language covers clothes, actions and even accessories.

 

In order for you to attract the girl you may need to increase you skills when relating to nonverbal communication and complementing shoes is one special key that unlocks many doors.  The attraction may not come from body signs or signals but your attention to detail and being able to complement it.

 

If you are a man and are competing with other men for the attention of a woman your ability to pick out some subtle clues may just help you.

 

Now this may not be of what you thought when you started to learn about seduction or even attraction but shoes are a simple topic to do some homework on. Go to a website where you could buy some women’s shoes. You could then learn about the types styles and manufacturers. Thinking ahead of other men and take some notes and your time invested would be less than half an hour or you could try and use the same old pick up line that other guys have tried.

 

Learning how to read, interpret and understand body language may increase your knowledge in more areas than facial expressions, body signs or even posture. It is ok to go and take physical field trips or even virtual trips to increase your ability to read non verbal communication.  Reading body language can open doors or even get you the girl when you know how to ask the right question or make the perfect statement.

 

I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell  

Photo credits: Stiletto Shoe by Boaz Yiftach, Group Of Girls Partying by photostock