Or

You ask your boyfriend where he was and all of the sudden all of his body language changes into something not normal. You see him say “I was with Steve” pause … pause … licking his lips  “and we went to a new bar” as he looks away. Could this be a sign and signal that your boyfriend is lying or did he really go to the new bar?

Or

You go to a new bar and you look over in the corner and notice this girl who winks at you and slowly starts licking her lips. You pull out your phone and Google “Body language of licking lips” to find out how to interpret this sign or signal. Was that a sign of overtly flirting with you, was she thirsty or were her lips chapped?

Now it very well may be that licking lips means nothing …but just in case you decide it’s time to find out what the body language of licking lips means.

There are plenty of times where people lick their lips and there can be a few reasons why they do so.

• ·         Out of necessity because of lack of moisture
• ·         Excitement about an idea or thought non sexual
• ·         Out of habit
• ·         Nervous tick
• ·         Caused by a lie
• ·         Suggestive

Every day reason for licking lips

Now just think for a moment when you were out in the sun and were hot or even possibly when it was really cold and your lips were chapped. Did you lick your lips? The chances are great that you licking your lips meant absolutely nothing but that it was needed. Now if someone were in your peripheral they could read into a little differently. This is a reminder why you need to take a look at what the normal actions are of the person are who you are looking at while interpreting their body language.

Excitement and licking lips

There are some people that when they get excited about anything they lick their lips. This rush of energy has to go somewhere for them and the lips are the answer. You would see this as a common trait or action that happens. You would want to know this baseline before making a decision as to whether or not they are lying or if they are just excited about a thought or belief.

 Habit of licking lips or biting lips

There are also men and women who have developed the habit of licking or biting their lips over time and it means nothing except that it is a routine behavior. On the other hand if the man, woman or child has a normal behavior of licking their lips and all of the sudden in a situation that normal behavior doesn’t happen there might be a reason for it and it may not be good or it may need nothing at all. This means that it’s time to ask some questions to gather further information about what is going on.

 Nervous action of licking lips

On the next spectrum of the level from the body language of licking lips is the nervous tick or action. It may be the pressure of a tough question or an uncomfortable situation or room that would cause one to change their behavior and display. In this nervousness may fall the issue of lying but it doesn’t mean that there is a lie. It could very well be nervous energy just like a man or a woman tapping their foot. In fact you may see foot tapping and lip licking at the same time.

 Lying and licking lips

It could very well be that the man, woman or child that you are looking at is asked a tough question they pause and then they lick their lips with another pause and then answer your question. This may be a flat out sign that they are lying but be careful because remember it may be nervous energy. If you are a woman / girl and ask a guy do you love me? If he’s not ready be to answer this question be ready for all sorts of nervous behavior and stalls but even then it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or he’s lying that’s just a tough question all of the sudden.

In the case of lying you are looking for abnormal behavior or an action that is not a normal routine for the person that you are looking at. Sometimes it may seem that licking the lips may be a symbolic greasing of the lips to get the big whopper of a lie out of their mouth. This action may take place as a way to get another half a second to figure a story out.

If you spend some time watching the television show “Cops” you will see the suspects start licking their lips after a few tough questions are asked with long pauses or short pauses. Are the suspects lying before or after they lick their lips? Quite possibly but this show is a good place to look and watch for the signs and signals of lying.

Just remember before you try and confront your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, kid or coworker of lying look for abnormal behavior then question about it. You may see other signs you have never seen before or you may see normal routines remember the baseline their behavior first.

Seduction and licking of the lips

In the example of the woman licking her lips at the bar that would be considered overt behavior to induce behavior from you or whoever it was generated towards. The licking of the lips may be considered sensual when directed towards a person. Now this is the body language that movies scenes are based upon. You may see a man or woman lick their lips when they meet a new person and they may not even know that they are doing so. Just remember that this may be some nervous energy or it could mean something else entirely. This action may take a few minutes or it may happen instantly depending on what is going on in the mind of the two and the type of chemistry that they have.

Now there may be a tendency to look at the lips when a man or woman licks them but you may want to be careful because staring at the lips may be seen as being sexual. So all of the sudden you get excited that someone is licking their lips and you start staring and the other person takes your body language as sexually advanced and that’s not what they were licking their lips for.

Licking lips for many reasons

There may be more than one reason why a person would or could lick their lips while some of them may be good others reasons may be bad. It is important to take the time to learn the behaviors and characteristics of a person’s routine actions or baseline them to determine what their action means or could be interpreted to mean.

Understanding body language can help you determine what the actions that other people mean. Learning how to read body language can be fun and also done at home:

Now go implement!

Scott Sylvan Bell

Body language expert Scott Sylvan Bell explains the nonverbal action of licking lips: Video credit

It may be that you are the coolest person on the planet and everyone likes to hang out with you but what about when that person that is with you needs to be somewhere else or they are uncomfortable in their surrounding? You may find that the signs and signals of impatience show through and if they are not deal with your message may be lost.

 People can be impatient for many reasons but you will really find that there are really 2 reasons almost everything will fall under:

• ·         They are not interested in what you have to say or offer because they are busy
• ·         They have somewhere to be because they are busy and they are not interested in what you have to say or offer

As you watch and read the body signals of a person you can work with the top down approach and that is to start with the head and move down the rest of the body.

Impatience and the body language of the head, shoulders and torso

You may find that when anyone has somewhere to be they may not keep eye contact with you or may turn their head slightly while talking to you almost as if they are talking out the side of their mouth. The head of the person may even nod their head away from you as a nonverbal way to try and escape form the situation. Where you would normally find good eye contact with the person if you know them and now they will not hold it for very long chances are good that something else is going on and they would rather be somewhere else.

When you look at the trunk of the body, the shoulders or even the torso when there is impatience you may also see that there is a shift away from you to a door or someone else, their proximity to you may change. The level of the shoulders may change and tilt away from you or the man, woman or child will lean away from you. This may be a sign that the person you are with does not want to be with you or they need to be somewhere else.  

In some instances you may see the breathing pattern change and the person starts to take deep breaths.

Body language of the infamous hand roll

There has been a time where either you have done this or someone has done the action of rolling their hands or arms to you. This sign or signal is a way for the person to say without saying let’s get this ball rolling or move on. If you are a persuader or influencer your commitment to a message or a time has overstepped its bounds and chances are good you are about to lose the arrangement or agreement. This hand or arm roll may also be used with the head nodding as the impatience wears into the conversation. At first these signs may be subtle with a finger roll and may lead into full blown hand and arm rolls.   

A common set of body language signs of impatience paired together.

The changes in the body language may include groups or clusters of different actions along with the shifting of the body and or torso.

• ·         Hand and arm rolls
• ·         Glaring of the eyes
• ·         Loss or lack of eye contact
• ·         Micro expressions of contempt 
• ·        Shaking of the head  
•           Deep breaths and or sighs
• ·         Foot tapping
• ·         A body tilt toward the door
• ·         A change in proximity
• ·         Signs of pouting in the face
• ·         Over animation in the arms and head
• ·         Feet shifting away from you

There may also be some ever so subtle signs and signals that may even be considered convert could include the feet and hands of the person who is impatient. It may just be that the person who is impatient is slightly pointing their hand or starts to point a foot away from you.

Verbal actions coupled with nonverbal actions   

Impatience not only changes the nonverbal actions of the body but may also include the verbal attributes of another person wanting or having to be somewhere else. The pace of the words may speed up along with sentences that become shorter when impatience is present. Answers to questions may also become “yes” or “no” answers to get away faster.

Couple the all of the actions of the body along with the nonverbal actions and you spot when impatience has set in.

What to do with the signs of impatience

There will be times that you will read the signs of impatience and there is a right way to deal with the situation. You can use a phrase similar to “I sense you have somewhere else to be”. Now this can be done wrong if you are not patient and it isn’t vocalized the right way and if that is the case the nonverbal actions of the man or the woman will really change and they will react to you in a negative way.

Remember to be patient as you read the body language of others and that your reactions can cause more problems than what you started with.

Learning how to read body language can increase you effective communication skills.

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about reading body language and or nonverbal communication.

Now go implement!

Scott Sylvan Bell

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Body language expert Scott Sylvan Bell explains the nonverbal actions of impatience: Video credit

If you want to be able to persuade better there is no better avenue than to be able to speak in front of a crowd. For some who do speak in front of a crowd their body language is a distraction and the message that they are trying to deliver is not effective.

As with any deciphering of nonverbal communication or reading of body language you will want to baseline the person to set a guide as to what they do and whether it is normal for them or not. A man, woman or child will have different behaviors depending upon the situation and the emotion that they are feeling. Its always a good idea to get a feel for what they do as a routine and what is not normal for them.

When you are watching a man or a woman giving a speech there are many items that you can take a look at to determine what is going on with them. You may see signs and or signals of:

• ·         Nervousness
• ·         Lies and or deceit
• ·         Frustration and or anger
• ·         Surprise

Click here to view the embedded video.

Body language of nervousness and speaking

First off many people are not comfortable speaking in front of crowds or even groups of one two people let alone a full room so an adventure in speaking brings out the nervousness even for successful leaders. One of the “tells” that you may pick up on is the way that the man or the woman walks to their spot to speak or their pulpit. You may see a lack of confidence or possibly even a slow long walk to where they need to be. For someone who is confident it just seems like they should be there, they have a good stride, they show confidence and they just seem comfortable wherever they are.  

As you watch for the nonverbal cues of  nervousness you will see than hands shake or even a look of being lost. You may see signs of lack of confidence with the walk or just while the man or the woman is standing there. Many times the man or the woman will focus in on one or two people that they may think are “safe” and it makes the situation awkward or dilutes the message that is being delivered.

If there is a pulpit for the person to stand behind there may be a “death grip” on the edges and the whole speech or talk and the person may learn in. While a woman or a man is behind a pulpit they may just look down at their notes and not even look up at the people that they are addressing.  

Body language of lies and or deceit while speaking

While you watch the man or the woman giving a presentation there are signs and signals that you may observe while they present that will give you clues to if they are telling the truth or not.

Since you have base lined the speaker you will be able to tell what is a normal or routine action for them or if their touch is out of the ordinary. You will also want to look for a mismatch where they may say that like something but their head shakes no like they were answering a question silently.

Some things to watch out for:

• ·         Touching of the face
• ·         Excessive blinking
• ·         Body posture
• ·         Mismatches from their words and their nonverbal actions

The man or the woman may show the lobster claw of deception or even touch their face at a point where the story gets too good or over the top. Now blinking can be induced by lighting, contacts or even medical conditions and it doesn’t always mean that the story isn’t true.  

Body language of frustration and anger while giving a speech   

Sometimes the man or the woman who is speaking doesn’t have a good or happy message to deliver. The words or the story that they punctuate are done so with their actions most of the time with their arms and or hands. Many times when anger or frustration is present the actions are sharp, overly animated and in some instances choppy. These actions are not to say that the man or the woman isn’t confident it is that they are amped up on emotion.

You may see the man or the woman shake their head and smash their lips together, take deep breaths before they speak, point or wag their finger, show the micro expression of disgust or contempt, wave their arm as if they are pushing or sweeping away an invisible object and in some rare instances give obscene gestures.   

In some instances there are times where the speech or the talk is on something that has some sorrow attached to it. You will more than likely see a lack of confidence or the shoulders turned in, possible grip on the lectern or pulpit and an overall slowing of the motions of the body.

Body language of surprise while giving a speech

Some men or women are given the opportunity to speak in front of a group of people and they were not even expecting it. You can see this when someone wins an event or is called in front of a group when a surprising event happens. In some instances this even may be something that causes sorrow.

If the even is good you may see micro expressions of surprise in the person who is asked to speak. There may be a huge genuine smile as a sign of satisfaction and happiness.

Learning how to read body language or interpret nonverbal communication can benefit you in the business world, personal life and or any given situation.

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about reading the body language of a speech!

Now go implement!

Scott Sylvan Bell

Body language of giving a speech by Body language expert Scott Sylvan Bell: video credit

• ·         Shaking the head yes or no
• ·         Micro expressions
• ·         Backing away when someone is too close in proximity
• ·         The shoulder shrug.

The ability to read body language or nonverbal communication is about base lining or watching the man or the woman to make sure that what you are predicting or observing is accurate.

Click here to view the embedded video.

The shoulder shrug is an action where the shoulders go up while a question is asked or when a statement is made. Now this action can happen for the person asking the question or answering the question or the statement. There may also be a facial expression where the eyebrows go up along with the shoulder movement along with possible cheek movement and in some instances the eyes may be closed. There are many variations of facial expressions or even micro expressions that can be used with the shoulder shrug.

Along with the movements of the shoulders you may see that man woman or child raise their hands with their palms up. Some will explain that a person with the palms of their hands up is a sign of honesty or it could just be part of the shoulder shrug.

Body language of the shoulder shrug and what it means

There are a few things that the shoulder shrug can mean.

1.         I don’t know

2.         I don’t care or its up to you

3.         Uncertainty or on the fence about the options

No matter what the reason that the shoulder shrug is used the actions of the body will be similar whether the person doesn’t know, doesn’t care or even has uncertainty.

Body language of shoulder shrug while negotiating or arguing  

There are times where the shoulder shrug can be used as a nonverbal action to engage in conversation or argument to get the other person to talk. This strategy can be used in negotiation or arguments where as it is a reaction to a question. A question or statement is made towards one person and there really isn’t a verbal answer just the shoulder shrug, the use or no verbal actions in a way is the statement to get the person who asked the question or made the original stamen to keep talking.

Now this persuasive strategy works the best if its only used one time in a conversation or an interaction with a group or individual, the more that it is used the more it is seen as a ploy and loses persuasive power.  

When this action is used in an argument it can make the situation worse as it can be considered a sign of not caring by the person reading the action. The man or woman may think the shoulder shrug means one thing when the person using it means another. The best thing to do at this point is to ask for clarification about what is going on. Now it is important to know that the shoulder shrug can cause problems where the other person wants you to react.

Body language of shoulder shrug and travel

When you don’t have the capability to speak another language whether you are in your native land or not the shoulder shrug is the way to explain nonverbally to the other person or people that you don’t know or understand.

Having the ability to read the signs and signals of body language does give you an upper hand in business, dating and even personal life:

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about reading the body language of a shoulder shrug.

Now go implement!

Scott Sylvan Bell

Body language expert Scott Sylvan Bell explains the body language and nonverbal signs of the shoulder shrug: Video credit.   

Now there is something that happens when men or women decide that they want to understand nonverbal communication better and that is they try to hard an read too much into a situation to reveal what they have though.

Click here to view the embedded video.

Reading body language and trying too hard

When men or women become interesting in reading body language they become eager to use their skills to help shed some light on a situation. The problem is moving too quickly of believing that every action has a meaning behind it.

Many times there is an underlying meaning to what the actions of the body mean. But on some occasions there is no meaning to what an action does or becomes.

Base lining the actions of a man, woman or child can help reveal what is really going on while interpreting the nonverbal communication of others.

Body language and the law of reaction

The people around you react to what you think is going on and when it comes to reading body language it only matters what the person thinks you are thinking. Their reaction is being based upon the thoughts and beliefs that they have about body language and what they think that an action means.

You may become an expert at reading body or an aspiring one but still you must be aware that there are many wrong beliefs as to what an action of the body equals and that means a set action or response will happen. Boyfriends have beliefs about what they think an action means when he sees his girlfriend talk to other guys. The action may be harmless but the reaction may cause problems. In all realities the action meant nothing but the boyfriend wanted the action to mean something. She may not have been lying but he wanted it so bad that he read into the actions to prove it.

There are time where you will want to believe so badly that an action really means something that you will do everything in your power to prove it right. This means you will dig in your heels sort of speak and defend your position even if you are wrong.

Reading body language and the danger of being right

There is another danger with reading body language or nonverbal communication and that is that you are right with what you read. You may find yourself in a position where you know that something is wrong and you can’t say anything. It may be that you catch your friends wife in a lie and know that something is up. It can even go the other way and that is you find out your friend is lying to his wife about something and it could even be cheating.

You may want to say something but there are times where you can’t, you will have to follow your own conscious as the way that you act.

You may be right when reading the nonverbal communications of others and their intention, you may even know that they are lying because you have used base lined the situation or you have read the micro expression of contempt when in the middle of a agreement. The challenge is when the people in your group do not agree with your assertions of beliefs as to what the facial expressions mean or could lead to.  

The bigger danger is when you want to use the “I told you so” card later on down the road when your assertions were right about the dating, business or even just everyday life situation.

Reading body language and being patient

Be patient as you read the nonverbal actions of others especially when you are still learning your skills.

Be patient in reacting to others and their body language

Be patient before you describe what an actions could mean because there are times where relationships depend upon your description of the intentions of others.

Remember just like any other skill you will have to take the time to become better at what you do.

Reading body language or nonverbal communication can be used for so many things:

• ·         Business
• ·         Dating
• ·         Making your communication better

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about the dangers of reading body language.

Now go implement!

Scott Sylvan Bell

Body language and the dangers of learning by Body language expert Scott Sylvan Bell