Reading body language: Learning how to read body language has many advantages for you
throughout your life.
The ability to look at non verbal communication and dissect its
meaning can increase your odds in just about any given situation.
More than reading body language it is important for you to
interact with people correctly. Just from knowing where to stand or sit can
make the difference between making the sale or getting the girl or guy.
What happen if you know where you can have a conversation or
not have one? How much money would you imagine that you have lost over the
years by making this easy mistake or how many times have you lost the girl or
guy because you didn’t know what you were doing wrong.
An important concept to learn when reading body language or
learning nonverbal skills is that of social value and what it means for you.
Social value would be the depth or value associated with your actions as other
people see what you are doing in real time while others are watching.
There are three types of social value:
- Positive social value
- Exempt social value
- No social value or negative social value
Positive social value:
would be what others think of your body language or nonverbal communication
plus your conversation whether they as the judge or judges are listening to you
or just happen to be watching from a distance. Your ability to effectively
communicate or deliver your message at this point has lived up to the
expectation and there really is no conflict. Your clothing and your actions are
congruent to the place or context of the situation. You have demonstrated
control of your actions to the observers or the intended participants and your
message is effective.
Exempt social value:
would be where your message isn’t being watched or judged by the people around you
or even the person that you are listening to. In this case your actions would
be exempt. An example would be talking to someone on the phone in an empty
No social value or negative social value: This example could come from an ineffective message
through either actions or external influences like clothing or accessories. An
example of a mismatch that would cause low or negative social value would be
you as a CEO delivering a message to the board members of a company in board
shorts and flip flops. Your message would be judged from the people around you
or the people that you are associating with. In this instance your verbal and
non verbal actions would not match up.
An action could be you being angry in public where people do
not understand why you are having issues, from their perspective it would look
like you were throwing a temper tantrum that would not be needed. In this
instance your body language would give you poor social value.
Negative social value could be from you talking outside the
Bell Bubble, using weird hand gestures while having a conversation or even
standing in the wrong spot while having a conversation.
Being an effective communicator requires your knowledge and
control over the way that you use your body as conversations are happening or occurring.
These body language skills do take time and effort to learn. Your communication
skills are the key to your success in life and business.
As always I would like to thank you for your comments and or
Now go implement!
Scott Sylvan Bell