Reading body language: While reading body language there are many things that you have to do as an observer to get a better understanding of what is going on between the people or group and their nonverbal communication.
It isn’t always the case where a person can just walk up and instantly know what is going on between a group or even between two people without making mistakes.
It has been said many times that a baseline or understanding has to be met to see what is going on. People who read body are sometimes seen as mind readers or clairvoyant but it may be from their training or previous experience. If you jump to conclusions you can find yourself in some trouble or even in a confrontational setting.
There are so many situations where being able to read body language will give you an upper hand whether it is in your personal life, business life or even your dating life.
While looking at the body language of people there are only a few situations where it can be done:
- · Live: where you are there in the moment looking as the situation is going on. You have only one chance to make sure that your reactions happen the right way and there is little room for error or bad judgment.
- · Picture: You can look at a picture of series of pictures to determine what has happened the downside is that you are getting such a short sample of what has happened and you may be wrong as to the context of your judgment.
- · Video: you get a snapshot in time as to how interactions between people have worked out as an added benefit you can stop and rewind a situation to look at it again.
If a picture is used this is only one small frame or snapshot in time for what has been happening but it doesn’t tell you exactly what was going on before. Video is a better format when possible to help understand what is going on with body language of friends or family. Being live or real time has the most amount of scrutiny because if you make a bad decision there is no going back.
While interpreting nonverbal communication there are a few things that you are looking for to decipher the situation.
How does proximity affect body language interpretations or understandings?
The first and most telling of these situations would be proximity. Determining how close people are to each other will help you see the situation for what it is and for what is going on. While reading the body language of men or women the first thing to decide is what is or would be an appropriate distance to keep between the people.
- · How close are the people standing or sitting?
- · Are the people within the “bell bubble” or the 18 inch distance from the body
Body language test #1
Stand face to face to a friend or relative five feet apart and slowly get closer to each other and note where either your decide that you are o close for comfort or their body language shows that that they are uncomfortable. It will be beyond a sight in some instances you will just feel uncomfortable.
Directions of the body and nonverbal communication
The next thing to look at while reading body language would be the body and or the direction the people are facing. This is going to show you inconsistencies or incongruences for things that may not be working out
- · Are the people sitting, standing
- · Where are the feet pointing if you can see them
- · What is the trunk of the body doing?
- · How are the shoulders sitting
The feet will help you understand if the person being viewed wants to get away from the situation because now the trunk of the body can follow. Is the body saying that the person needs to get away so that the shoulders are at a strange angle or are they showing closeness? In most instances people who are close will have their shoulders parallel to the other persons shoulders no matter how they are sitting or standing. Sometimes when the shoulders are at a slant moving away from the opposing body this could show that the person needs to get away but this is not always the case. If the shoulders are off congruency the rest of the trunk of the body will be also.
Body language test #2
To test this out sit in a chair and face your body towards a person, now you will keep the trunk of your body straight while twisting your shoulders slightly to your right. How do you feel about the person that you are facing? Now ask them how they feel about you. You can have them perform this same test just to see what it feels like. How do you feel about the body language that is being displayed when you get too close?
To take this body language test one step further have a conversation where you would feel like you would need good eye contact to practice with: meaning not a real conversation but one where you could imagine the both of you talking about something semiserious.
What communication is consistent between the two of you and where does the communication drop off?
The context of touch and body language
Now you can determine what type of touch is going on while looking at the non verbal communication. The context of touch will be telling as to what type of relationship the people have, while learning about body language the context of touch is an important aspect to learn.
- · Is the touch slight with a hand or a fingertip or is it a hug or a full body cover up
- · Where on the body is the touch occurring, is it a place where a stranger would be allowed to touch or is it something a close friend would be involved with or lastly is it a lover or possible seducer.
- · Is there reaction to the touch meaning is it comfortable for the person being touched or is there some issue there?
On the list or deciphering a situation while reading male or female body language next up the face and head will show you what is going on.
The body language of your face and your expressions
One of the most common areas to look to see what is being communicated nonverbally is to look at the face. This will help you understand better what communication is being used or portrayed.
From you looking at the peoples facial expressions does it seem like the person or people are:
- · Happy
- · Sad
- · Scared
- · Indifferent
- · Nervous
These are just a few of the emotions the face can tell or put another way does each person in the situation exhibit the same emotion or is there a mismatch as to what is going on while one person has a smile the other person has a scowl on their face. If this is the case there is a problem here and this mismatch should be easily visible. Within this category would be the eyes and what they are doing.
Are the eyes of both parties going towards each other, are they looking at the common goal, is one person looking away while the person who should be looking that the same object obsessed with another object or person?
These are some of the firsts keys to look at while deciphering or understand the body language of men or women for work, fun or even seduction.
As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about body language.
Now go implement!
Scott Sylvan Bell