Reading body language: The first date has a huge pressure built about it to leave a fantastic impression on the person that you are meeting. It’s not just that your body language or nonverbal communication has to be great, so does what you say or your verbal communication while meeting your new potential mate for the first time.
While it may not be something that you think of you the other person is reading your body language and reacting form it either positive or negatively. Remembering that most nonverbal communication comes from your reactions to the other person’s body language are just as important as your reactions to theirs.
Men will react to body language differently then will that of women. Knowing what the right types of signs or signals that can be used can and will increase your chances of a better date.
Reaction is so important but is not normally talked about when discussing how to read body language or understanding and interpreting non verbal communication.
When it comes to meeting your date for the first time your body language really does matter. The situation on a first date would include:
- · How you shake hands or your physical greeting
- · Eye contact
- · Where or how you stand
- · Where and how you sit
- · What you touch on your body and theirs
- · What you are looking at
- · What you are wearing not just for clothes but also accessories
- · Your attention to details
- · Your grooming style or lack of it
- · Your reaction to their body language or even rapport
On a first date the first few seconds are probably just as important or even more important than the whole meeting itself. Your date will react to you either in a positive or negative reaction if they have never met you before.
The hand shake or the half hug?
Greeting a new person for the first time in real life can be awkward if you get caught up in a bad handshake of the wrong type of half hug. When reading the body language of a first date what happens when someone goes for the air kiss?
Start with a handshake, it is safe and you are not breaking the proximity rules from the “bell bubble”
Now as you shake someone’s hand there is an appropriate way to do so, your hand straight up and down with a firm but not strong grasp with 3-4 easy shakes. If you go into the handshake where your hand ends up on top it may give the cue nonverbally that you think you are in control. If you go in and let your first date roll their hand over yours it may tell then unconsciously that you are weak.
Now what’s wrong with a half hug?
Everything as this is something that is saved for friends or semi friends. Now some cultures may find this a good thing to do it is a little personal, the better thing to do is to save it for the end of the date not the beginning where it will be more comfortable. If you break the “comfort factor” from the beginning you will have a tough time making a good impression. The comfort factor is the initial response that a person has when first meeting another person. This is a gut reaction and it may be wrong but people go by their gut instinct.
Now for the air kiss, once again some cultures do this and it is common, in some areas of the country it may be common. For the place where it isn’t common it isn’t a good idea to do especially if you are a man and meeting a women for the first time.
Eye contact on a first date
Your eye contact on your first date may create comfort or it may create difficulties. What you are looking at should be the person that you are meeting for the most part and not all of the other people who pass you by. This lack of contact and looking at other people is rude and if you are not into the date you are meeting for the first time then let him or her know you don’t think that the two of you will work out.
On the other hand too much eye contact is beyond creepy. Too much attention is not a good thing. Just think back to how comfortable or uncomfortable you were when someone stared at you. Now amplify this feeling because it is a first date.
50 – 60% may be the right match of eye contact in the beginning and if it feels more comfortable you can add a little more over time.
Now what you look at as body parts can get you in trouble also. Sometimes people dress in a way to get attention but even then if the person that you are meeting for a first date has dressed in a way where it is tough to keep eye contact pick an object slightly beyond them. Reading the body language of a stare will make one uncomfortable.
Staring at someone’s mouth can be seen as a sexual advance while staring at the forehead is uncomfortable. Keeping eye contact from the nose to the eyebrow can keep comfort while having a first conversation.
Reading the body language of a first date should not be difficult as long as you keep good eye contact and do not break the proximity rule from the beginning.
As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about the body language or nonverbal communication of a first date.
Now go implement!
Scott Sylvan Bell
Photo Credits: Couple Getting Close In Romance by photostock, Young Couple In Bar by photostock