Reading body language: People have the ability to build comfort while in the presence of others and the body language of rapport will give that comfort and that comes through the use of mirroring. All of these fancy words can be summed up as a way to help others be like you or you be like them.
You must ask yourself a few questions to help build rapport and to use mirroring correctly.
Is the target person in a good or bad mood? This is important because you will need to know what is comfortable when mirroring and what is not because you will need to be similar.
You must also determine what your intention is and what you want to do, are you just trying to build comfort or mirror the person or are you trying to build rapport because they are two separate things.
Using body language by mirroring others to build comfort
Mirroring would just be to copy the actions of another person to build comfort as rapport follows after another word for this would be synchronicity.
When you mirror the body language that you read of the other person you will make similar actions that they do. Now there are some mistakes that people make when mirroring the body language of others to help build rapport:
- Mirroring too quickly
- Trying to hard to build comfort non verbally by being too similar
When you copy the body language of another person to mirror you will want to do this slowly and not at the same exact time as the other person this would be uncomfortable and the other person subconsciously or consciously would think something strange would be going on.
By moving too quickly you will give up your strategy and it may build mistrust.
If you are sitting and the target person crosses their legs you would wait a few seconds and cross your legs in a similar fashion it would not have to be exact.
If the person that you are mirroring reacts to changing their body language by changing theirs you have made a mistake at this point you would need to slow down. This going too quickly when mirroring others would fall into the trying too hard by doing to many items as the target person.
You don’t have to be in the exact position as the other person just similar this is where the trying too hard comes in.
Body language reading can help you build rapport
If the goal is to build comfort through the use of body language or non verbal communication taking your time with the other person is the key to both of these items.
Building rapport is a term used in Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP it means that you are similar, not exact and that happens from mirroring another person. Synchronicity would be another explanation of rapport. Similar but not exact is key.
- The person slouches in their chair and then so do you a few seconds or even a minute later in a similar fashion but not exact.
- The person folds their arms and then so do you a few seconds or even a minute later in a similar fashion but not exact.
- The person crosses their legs and then so do you a few seconds or even a minute later in a similar fashion but not exact.
Once again the key here is similar but not exact and a little slower than the other person.
The places that you can use mirroring and rapport can be numerous.
- At a party
- At the coffee shop
- At church
The places and times that you can use this body language skill are endless. Learning how to read the signs and signals of body language can be done through practicing mirroring to gain rapport.
Body language reading assignment
To learn how to build rapport by mirroring you can use a simple strategy to learn this talent.
Decide to spend some time out for an hour somewhere that there are other people who you can mirror. The best thing is to not attract too much attention to yourself and just be similar to a person that you choose. Now this target can be a man or a woman and it doesn’t matter their age.
Do as much of your work mirroring and build rapport through your peripheral vision. Remember to go slow and make your moves a little slower than the other person. As your starting to gain rapport you will notice yourself starting to want to move faster this is a sign that you are getting close to rapport. This also means that your body language reading is close to what it needs to be.
After accepting this assignment that will not only help you learn how to read body language but will also give you the skill of mirroring and then building rapport. You may just find while doing this skill building exercise that the people that you mirror and then build rapport with will approach you in some instances.
This exercise may just help you get a new boyfriend or girlfriend in a covert way without them knowing why they were attracted to you. You may just gain a new client or even help yourself get out of a tense situation.
As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about mirroring and rapport.
Now go implement!
Scott Sylvan Bell
Romantic Young Couple Enjoying Their Love by photostock,Fashion Models by photostock :Body language reading photo credits