Body language of frustration

Body language of frustration: Whether you are out in public, at the office or even at the home there are times where frustration happens. Frustration can be because of you, another person or no one in general.

 

What if there were a way for you to see the signs and signals of frustration to possibly defuse the situation before it escalates to more than what it already is. As you watch the man or the woman there are some very specific actions that happens as the frustrations sets in that you can identify and observe.

 

There may just be a few signs of frustration or you may find that there are many combined together. There are a few items to look at when determining a man or a woman is showing the nonverbal signs of frustration:

  • ·         The facial expressions of the man or the woman
  • ·         The hands and arms of the man or the woman
  • ·         The posture of the man  or the woman
  • ·         The breathing pattern of the man or the woman
  • ·         The proximity of the man or woman

 

Body language of frustration and the face

As a man or woman becomes frustrated you may first see the effects in their face. There may be the micro expressions of disgust or contempt in their face. The frustration in the face may go as far as biting the lip.

 

In some instances the man or the woman may just shake their head “no” and look at the person or even look away from the person that is the “cause” of the emotion and all wht while they may have the micro expressions going for everyone to see.

 

It may just be a sour look on the offenders face that will tip you off to their emotion.

 

If the person becomes angry while frustrated you may see their eyes pin and they may even become locked on the one who has caused the issue.

 

Body language of frustration and movements of the hands and arms

As a man or woman becomes frustrated you may see their hands and arms making sharp and fast movements. They may make a fist with their hands or the fist may be used as control to hold back from doing something they might regret. The man or the woman may push away their frustrations or throw their hands up in the air

 

You may see their arms leave past the area of social value meaning you can see their arms outstretched and animated more than normal.

The movements that you may see with the arms and hands may seem frantic especially the more angry that the man or the woman becomes. In some instances the frustrated person may not even move their arms and they just may be folded. Even with their arms folded you may see their hands shaking.

 

Body language of frustration and the posture of the man or woman

When you see the posture and the movements of the body of a frustrated man or woman the emotion may cause them to stand straight up. There are times where they may turn their body away from the offender who got them frustrated. The chest may be puffed up also as their anger increases.

 

Body language of frustration and the breathing patterns

As the man or the works their way through their emotions you may see them take deep breathes. The breathing pattern may also become shorter. Now there are times where you can’t see the rib cages of most people with clothes on but with anger you may see the excessive or deep breathing as the frustration builds

 

Body language of frustration and proximity

There are a few variations of proximity when men or women become frustrated. As frustration sets in and goes through the stages the proximity may change.  

  • ·         Move towards the person who caused the frustration
  • ·         Move away from the person who caused the frustration

 

There are times where frustrated people move towards the man or the woman who has put them in the emotional state or near the item that is causing them pain or anguish.

 

For some the proximity of the party or item that causes the frustration is enough to get them to move away from the root cause, they may even give up and walk away.

 

Body language of frustrated men or woman and how to deal with them

Knowing the signs and signals of a frustrated person may allow you to defuse the situation by watching your own body language so that you do not activate the law of reaction. You will also want to make sure that you keep away from pointing and also watch your proximity to the person who is either frustrated and make sure you stay out of their bell bubble. Giving the person room so that they are not crowded will help but if you feel that they are closing in on you will want to get away. It is also not a good idea to get them cornered or crowded because frustration can turn to anger.

 

Learning how to read body language can help you in many situations from business to relationships and beyond.

I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions on the body language of frustration.

 

 

 

 

Now go implement!

 

 

 

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

Body language of speeches

Body language of a speech or public speaking: Leadership requires speeches or lectures from the CEO all of the way down to managers or department heads. You may also see politicians give speeches. While you are reading their body language you may be able to determine a few things from whoever is speaking for whatever reason.

 

If you want to be able to persuade better there is no better avenue than to be able to speak in front of a crowd. For some who do speak in front of a crowd their body language is a distraction and the message that they are trying to deliver is not effective.

 

As with any deciphering of nonverbal communication or reading of body language you will want to baseline the person to set a guide as to what they do and whether it is normal for them or not. A man, woman or child will have different behaviors depending upon the situation and the emotion that they are feeling. Its always a good idea to get a feel for what they do as a routine and what is not normal for them.

 

When you are watching a man or a woman giving a speech there are many items that you can take a look at to determine what is going on with them. You may see signs and or signals of:

  • ·         Nervousness
  • ·         Lies and or deceit
  • ·         Frustration and or anger
  • ·         Surprise

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Body language of nervousness and speaking

First off many people are not comfortable speaking in front of crowds or even groups of one two people let alone a full room so an adventure in speaking brings out the nervousness even for successful leaders. One of the “tells” that you may pick up on is the way that the man or the woman walks to their spot to speak or their pulpit. You may see a lack of confidence or possibly even a slow long walk to where they need to be. For someone who is confident it just seems like they should be there, they have a good stride, they show confidence and they just seem comfortable wherever they are.  

 

As you watch for the nonverbal cues of  nervousness you will see than hands shake or even a look of being lost. You may see signs of lack of confidence with the walk or just while the man or the woman is standing there. Many times the man or the woman will focus in on one or two people that they may think are “safe” and it makes the situation awkward or dilutes the message that is being delivered.

 

If there is a pulpit for the person to stand behind there may be a “death grip” on the edges and the whole speech or talk and the person may learn in. While a woman or a man is behind a pulpit they may just look down at their notes and not even look up at the people that they are addressing.  

 

Body language of lies and or deceit while speaking

While you watch the man or the woman giving a presentation there are signs and signals that you may observe while they present that will give you clues to if they are telling the truth or not.

 

Since you have base lined the speaker you will be able to tell what is a normal or routine action for them or if their touch is out of the ordinary. You will also want to look for a mismatch where they may say that like something but their head shakes no like they were answering a question silently.

 

Some things to watch out for:

 

The man or the woman may show the lobster claw of deception or even touch their face at a point where the story gets too good or over the top. Now blinking can be induced by lighting, contacts or even medical conditions and it doesn’t always mean that the story isn’t true.  

 

Body language of frustration and anger while giving a speech   

Sometimes the man or the woman who is speaking doesn’t have a good or happy message to deliver. The words or the story that they punctuate are done so with their actions most of the time with their arms and or hands. Many times when anger or frustration is present the actions are sharp, overly animated and in some instances choppy. These actions are not to say that the man or the woman isn’t confident it is that they are amped up on emotion.

 

You may see the man or the woman shake their head and smash their lips together, take deep breaths before they speak, point or wag their finger, show the micro expression of disgust or contempt, wave their arm as if they are pushing or sweeping away an invisible object and in some rare instances give obscene gestures.   

 

In some instances there are times where the speech or the talk is on something that has some sorrow attached to it. You will more than likely see a lack of confidence or the shoulders turned in, possible grip on the lectern or pulpit and an overall slowing of the motions of the body.

 

Body language of surprise while giving a speech

Some men or women are given the opportunity to speak in front of a group of people and they were not even expecting it. You can see this when someone wins an event or is called in front of a group when a surprising event happens. In some instances this even may be something that causes sorrow.

 

If the even is good you may see micro expressions of surprise in the person who is asked to speak. There may be a huge genuine smile as a sign of satisfaction and happiness.

 

Learning how to read body language or interpret nonverbal communication can benefit you in the business world, personal life and or any given situation.

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about reading the body language of a speech!

 

 

 

Now go implement!

 

 

 

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Body language of giving a speech by Body language expert Scott Sylvan Bell: video credit

Body language of shoulder shrugs

Body language of a shoulder shrug: There are very few actions that you can do nonverbally that are almost universal. On that list is or almost universal or universal nonverbal signs are:

 

 

The ability to read body language or nonverbal communication is about base lining or watching the man or the woman to make sure that what you are predicting or observing is accurate.

 

The shoulder shrug is an action where the shoulders go up while a question is asked or when a statement is made. Now this action can happen for the person asking the question or answering the question or the statement. There may also be a facial expression where the eyebrows go up along with the shoulder movement along with possible cheek movement and in some instances the eyes may be closed. There are many variations of facial expressions or even micro expressions that can be used with the shoulder shrug.

 

Along with the movements of the shoulders you may see that man woman or child raise their hands with their palms up. Some will explain that a person with the palms of their hands up is a sign of honesty or it could just be part of the shoulder shrug.

 

Body language of the shoulder shrug and what it means

There are a few things that the shoulder shrug can mean.

1.         I don’t know

2.         I don’t care or its up to you

3.         Uncertainty or on the fence about the options

 

No matter what the reason that the shoulder shrug is used the actions of the body will be similar whether the person doesn’t know, doesn’t care or even has uncertainty.

 

Body language of shoulder shrug while negotiating or arguing  

There are times where the shoulder shrug can be used as a nonverbal action to engage in conversation or argument to get the other person to talk. This strategy can be used in negotiation or arguments where as it is a reaction to a question. A question or statement is made towards one person and there really isn’t a verbal answer just the shoulder shrug, the use or no verbal actions in a way is the statement to get the person who asked the question or made the original stamen to keep talking.

 

Now this persuasive strategy works the best if its only used one time in a conversation or an interaction with a group or individual, the more that it is used the more it is seen as a ploy and loses persuasive power.  

 

When this action is used in an argument it can make the situation worse as it can be considered a sign of not caring by the person reading the action. The man or woman may think the shoulder shrug means one thing when the person using it means another. The best thing to do at this point is to ask for clarification about what is going on. Now it is important to know that the shoulder shrug can cause problems where the other person wants you to react.

 

Body language of shoulder shrug and travel

When you don’t have the capability to speak another language whether you are in your native land or not the shoulder shrug is the way to explain nonverbally to the other person or people that you don’t know or understand.

 

Having the ability to read the signs and signals of body language does give you an upper hand in business, dating and even personal life:

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about reading the body language of a shoulder shrug.

 

 

 

 

Now go implement!

 

 

 

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Body language expert Scott Sylvan Bell explains the body language and nonverbal signs of the shoulder shrug: Video credit.   

Body language of steepling

Body language of steepling: You may find yourself in a position where you are reading the nonverbal signs or signals of steepling. Usually you will find this body language action in the world of business or politics.

 

If you are viewing a man or a woman and watching their body language and see them take their fingertips and press them together while pushing out the palms of the hands almost like there is an invisible ball that they are holding onto that is a similar size of their hands.

 

Now when you see steepling there may be a few things that you can read into but as always you will want to watch the man or the woman for a moment to get a baseline as to what is going on. The signs, signals or thoughts that can come from steepling can be:

  • ·         Confidence
  • ·         Arrogance
  • ·         In some instances a power play or a false body language sign

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Body language of steepling and confidence  

Typically steepling is considered a sign of confidence about a message or subject. You could see a businessman or woman in front of the board room steeple after a message. It is possible to see a politician steeple while in a debate when they want to deliver a strong point or they may steeple the entire time that they are talking. There are times in business while negotiating where you may see a manager, department head, buyer or a CEO steeple during a conversation.

 

Now you may interpret the signs of lack of confidence if the man or the woman is constantly shifting the position of their steeple.

 

You will want to take a look at the proximity of the person steepling to others to see where the power may be coming from. It may not be normal to have a person steeple within a close distance of another person, that may be a sign something is going on.

 

Body language of steepling and arrogance

As you read the body language of men and women you can see or read into other items as you interpret the actions that you are observing. There are times where steepling is beyond confidence and could be an indication of arrogance. The places you may see this is where a person who is powerful or thinks that they are powerful believes their message is superior. In this case you will see the steepling and quite possibly the micro expressions of disgust or even contempt through their facial expressions.

 

The body language of steepling and arrogance could be seen in front of a news crew, in a sales meeting from the buyer or the seller, in a court room while someone is on the stand.

 

Body language of steepling as a false body language sign

Being able to read and or understand nonverbal communication can help you see that sometimes people will use body language as a way to show something that they may not be. Take for instance someone is going into negotiations for a business opportunity and they see on the internet that steepling is a sign of power. Now this person knows that they lack power so they use this nonverbal action or sign to portray something that they are not. A skilled person who understands body language may be able to pick up on this “tell” or mistake.  

 

A give away for a false body language sign with steepling may be in the shoulders. When you look at the signs of a confident man or woman you will see that for the most part their shoulders are pulled back. In the case of a false sign the man or woman may bring their shoulders in. The other items to look at would be:

  • ·         The feet to see if they are tapping
  • ·         The breathing pattern of the man or the woman to see if it stays consistent
  • ·         The lack of fluid motions in the arms or head

 

If you were to observe what you think is a false sign of body language you may wan to ask some specific questions to the man or the woman to put some pressure on them to see what type of response that you get not only nonverbally but also verbally. You may jst find that there is more to the story than what is being said.    

 

Learning how to read body language or nonverbal communication could give yu the edge in business, dating and even negotiating with others;

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about reading the body language of steepling:

 

 

 

Now go implement!

 

 

 

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Body language expert Scott Sylvan Bell shares how to read the body language of steepling: Video credit

Body language of yawning

Body language of yawning: It never seems to fail that you are in a meeting and the guy next to you yawns but does it covertly and the next thing that you know you too are yawning.

 So first off are yawns contagious?

 You bet they are..

 Is there a nonverbal communication to yawning?

 Yes and no.

 There are plenty of reasons why a man or woman yawns and depending upon the circumstances its harmless to annoying. You may see people yawn:

  • ·         From boredom
  • ·         As an automatic response to someone else who has yawned or out or just watching caused by rapport or empathy
  • ·         When someone is tired or hot

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As with any body language reading out in the field whether in business, dating or in your personal life it is a good idea to baseline the situation to make sure that your reaction or your question is correct.

 

Body language of yawning and boredom

When was the last time that you were bored in a meeting, on a date or even sitting with your boyfriend or girlfriend and they yawned and you took it that they were not too excited to be there with you? You make a comment your body language changes you react, they then react and the next thing you know this innocent nonverbal action turns into an argument.

 

Now yawning may be from boredom but chances are if you are with an adult they know that it is not polite to yawn when another person is talking or interacting with another man woman or child.

 

Now there are some nonverbal signs that would be considered rude and that is when a man woman or child goes out of their way to show off while they yawn. It may be that there is a speaker or teacher who is talking and the subject is not that interesting or the person just does it to be rude.

 

In some instance you may be able to pick up on some micro expressions to see what the man or the woman is thinking. In some instances the person who is yawning to create some attention may keep looking at their watch and or the door as a sign that they have better or other places to be.

 

Body language of yawning and an automatic reaction?

Now what if yawning were an automatic reaction and you couldn’t stop yourself from automatically doing what the other person around you is doing. This may be a conditioned response out of empathy triggered by mirror neurons but that is not 100% accurate.

 

There are times where you are watching television or a movie and an actor yawns and it may trigger you to yawn in this case it would be an automatic reaction. A more likely situation is that a person near you yawns and it triggers you to yawn.

 

It has been figured that around age 4 is when yawing starts to be contagious to children and when this reaction does not happen it may be a clue that the child has some disorders because they should be an automatic reaction.

 

Body language of yawning and being tired or hot

There are plenty of theories why men or women yawn and one of them is that their need to be an increase blood to the brain or to keep the temperature of the brain down (University of Albany 2007). There is also a theory that there are neurotransmitters that trigger a yawn in order to help speed up the body to keep from getting tired. Now it may even be a triggered response to being hot and working on cooling the body down.

 

Just remember that whatever you believe a yawn means may cause you to react to a man or woman around you in a way that could be right or wrong so be sure to read the situation correctly.

 

There are some animals that yawning is contagious to:

  • ·         Cats big or small
  • ·         Dogs
  • ·         Horses

 

Body language of yawning and ancient cultures.

Some ancient cultures believe that when men or women yawn the soul is trying to escape and the action of covering the mouth helps keep the soul from exiting the body. Now this may be the truth but it’s not likely from a scientific standpoint.

 

No matter what you believe about the body language of yawns there is one cool tip that you can use when people are over and you wan them to leave. Yawn and get up then tell them its time for you to go to bed. In most cases they get this overly overt body language action and leave so you can go to bed.

 

Reading body language can help you out in your business life, dating and even just to have some fun:

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about body language of yawning.

 

 

 

 

Now go implement!

 

 

 

 

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Body language expert Scott Sylvan Bell shares the body language of a yawn: video credit  

Body language of yes or no

Body language of yes or no: Much of the communication that we do has nothing to do with what our mouths say. You read the body language of others all day long and sometimes its like an expert and the others times you may fall into the amature category.

 

The nonverbal cues that are given off while you talk come from your face, arms, hands, body and your feet. Sometimes you use your body to give out information, there are times where you are not even aware that you are giving information out while sometimes you leak the nonverbal actions that get you caught quite possibly in a lie.

 

Signs of yes and no with body language

Every culture and even some sub cultures have signs and signals that relate to body language. Some signs are almost universal throughout the world but there is not one item of communication that is 100% universal.

 

As always it’s important to baseline any individual that you are researching or reading. The cost of being right while reading body language can be bragging rights while being wring can end relationships. Your ability to baseline information and interpret the actions that are going on will depend on patience and experience.

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Body language and the signs of yes

Typically when a man, woman or child uses the body language signs of yes there is an action where the head nods up and down, that may be one time or many times. Now this action of up and down can “leak” to other parts of the body. In American Sign Language (ASL) the action to say yes is a fist that is moved up and down.

 

The nonverbal sign of shaking a head up and down to signify “yes” can be understood in almost all situations even when two people don’t even speak the same language.

 

There are times where other signs of the body are used to agree with an action and that can be a thumbs up in the western world. You may even see a wink as a way to agree with a statement or an action. There are people who may even agree with a smile.

 

Body language and the signs of no

The signs of saying “no” are typically demonstrated by moving the head to the left or to the right. This sign if fairly universal throughout the world and it is even understood when the person does not speak your language.

 

The nonverbal actions of saying “no” do not always come from the movement of the head. They can come from moving an arm or arms laterally almost like the movement is pushing something away.

 

You may see the sign of a thumbs down as in disapproval along with a facial expression of anger, contempt or even disgust. In extreme cases the body language of “no” may become physical when that happens the body language of the protagonist or antagonist may also sign signs of animation.

 

 A past president was caught lying when his arms did not match his words when he said he did not perform an act. This mismatch of body language is not always caught but it is something that should be caught by an expert. 

 

If you were to wear a device that could block sound for a day where you really could not hear you would find out just how much nonverbal communication is used.

 

Learning how to read body language can help you close more sales, catch a boyfriend or girlfriend lying or just may you a better communicator overall.

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments or questions about the body language of “yes” or “no”.

 

 

Now go implement!

 

 

 

 

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Body language expert Scott Sylvan Bell explains the body language of “yes” or “no”

Reading body language games

Reading body language: Learning how to read people through the use of analyzing body language can be fun.

 

Sure you can read how to look at each body part, learn how to interpret facial expressions of eve go online and study how people interact through proximity. What will really help you learn how to read and understand body language better is to dissect it in real life.

 

Reading body language games to learn nonverbal communication
Reading body language games to understand body language

 

Reading body language can be learned by games

When people want to learn how to read other peoples nonverbal actions they are shocked about where to gain these skills and capabilities.

 

The first Reading body language game can be played with a few people by going out to a bar about 10:00pm or later. Just know that your job is not to drink you are there to learn. When you are done learning then you can drink. There are some very specific reasons why you want to choose a bar. People will let their guards down after a few drinks. Their actions in some instances will be exaggerated and reading their body language can and will be easier because of it.

 

The way that this body language game goes it to figure out a person between your group and then determine what the nonverbal communication means. Now you can get away with more silliness when you are at a bar with people who are drinking. You can even get other people involved in your “game” and they will have fun also.

 

When you think that you have determined what has gone on go over and buy the guy or girl a drink and ask them. Let them know you are doing a body language experiment and they will let you in on what is going on. If they decide that they do not want in on your fun try with another person.

 

Watching men hit on women or even guys who think that they are pick up artists (PUA) can show you the body language of rejection all of the way to the body language of seduction that you can read real time. If you are close enough you can hear the interactions between the men and women. The benefit for you is that you get to learn in real time and see just what some nonverbal actions are.

 

Reading body language games to increase communication skills
Reading body language games for interpretations of nonverbal signs

 

Reading body language for sales as a game the blank slate surprise

Under pressure people dominate traits come out. If you are in any type of sales the best way to make this happen is through surprise. You can learn not just a lot but a ton from being put under pressure. This works especially well when this sales training technique is videotaped or recorded to watch later.

 

The setup for this even is simple. A person goes shopping and picks up a few items:

  • ·         Small lunch sacks (brown and not see through
  • ·         Random taboo products think adult novelty toys
  • ·         Random items from the house

 

You then take the items and put them in the brown bags and put them on a table on in a box. The salesperson is given 30 second to look at the item while it is still in the bag. Once the salesperson has had their time to look at their item they then do a 2 minute infomercial on the “product” that they have in the bag.

 

This game that can be used to learn about body language reading will show what the salesperson does when they are nervous, what they do when they are confident and what they do when they get stumped. The communication when verbal or nonverbal will show every flaw or even perfection.

 

Some of the best items for this game are ones that are taboo and that can create the most discomfort or embarrassment.

 

For salespeople who are more advanced there is no 30 second prep time for the “actor” it the infomercial is instant. This puts even more pressure on the actor because there is no preparation time. No matter how good the salesperson or “actor” is this body language reading event will show some sort of weakness in the nonverbal communication skills and signs.

 

This “game” needs to be recorded on film so that the actor can watch what they have done because if you just tell them they will not believe what was done. The actions of their hands, facial expressions and general body language can be dissected slowly and even repeated over and over again.

 

Now you don’t have to be a salesperson to benefit from these sales games you can be a person that just wants to learn how to read nonverbal actions. Your dominate traits will come out on film and you can determine what actions that you do can get you in trouble when communicating with others.

 

Reading body language and nonverbal communication to become an expert can be learned here.

 

I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about games you can learn to read body language.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

Girl Holding Message Board by Kittikun Atsawintarangkul, White Board Model by AscensionDigital:Photo credits for reading body language games

Reading body language of fidgeting

Reading body language: In every day interactions people have beliefs about your nonverbal communication.

 

Things that we forget about as communicators just get stuck on auto pilot when it comes to our body language.

 

Hypnotist will point out that “you can feel your right big toe throb” because it is pointed out. Reading body language or controlling your nonverbal actions are similar to the example of what the hypnotist would tell you.

 

Reading body language of fidgeting and negative signs
Reading body language of fidgeting women

 

Fidgeting has to be one of the most common actions that gets picked up easy by a person who is viewing you as a communicator. While the person watches reads your body language they see your fidgets as:

  • ·         Nervousness
  • ·         Possible signs and signals you are lying
  • ·         Lack of self-control

 

 

 

Fidgeting can be:

  • Playing with your hair
  • Wringing your hands or being occupied with them or something in them
  • Playing with something in front of you or onyour clothes
  • Tapping the table

Reading the body language of fidgeting

Nervousness has many things that play out and fidgeting is one of them. Some people will play with their hands either rubbing them together or picking on their fingernails. The reasons that a person could be nervous may there is plenty of stress on the person or it is natural. There are some who just over time have started to fidget like some lick their lips.

 

Now for those who want to look at every body language sign and signal as a hotspot of someone lying this really may be one of those nonverbal actions that do point to someone not being truthful or that they are telling a lie.

 

Just because someone fidgets somehow it does not make them a liar remember it could be that they are just nervous.

 

Just for a second pretend that when you were stopped by the police for something but you don’t know why. You have not been in trouble in your life and you get hauled into the police station for a lineup for a crime that you didn’t commit. Would you be nervous? Yes you would be. Would you be fidgeting with something, your hands, your hair or even a piece of paper and a pen? That’s a good possibility. Would it be called for? Yes it would and it would almost be expected.

 

Now take an everyday example: You are at breakfast at a diner with a significant other and you are fidgety. Is this normal for you? Possibly, but what if the fidgeting wasn’t there? That could mean that something is going on that would need to be investigated more.

 

Just because someone has an action in their body language that can be read as bad does not determine for 100% that that they are doing the action that you believe.

 

Some say that when people are fidgety that it is an instant sign that they are lying. That could be the case if they are not a person who fidgets normally.

 

People under stress will fidget, people who are nervous will fidget and people who have a

natural action of fidgeting will fidget. Body language means to people what it does as the other persons actions happen, and that means if that person thinks that fidgeting is a “tell’ that you are lying then in their mind you are a liar.

 

The tough thing about reading body language is that so many people believe so many different things. If someone has read that fidgeting is a sure sign or “tell” that you are a liar then it is difficult to prove otherwise until the person learns that they are wrong and then accepts that their knowledge and skills of reading body language are flawed.

 

Reading body language for the sings of fidgeting
Reading body language of fidgeting for salespeople

 

Fidgeting on a date could signify to some that you lack confidence and do not deserve the person that you are with. Fidgeting on a job interview may mean that you are lying about your qualifications. Fidgeting with a significant other can mean that you are just being you.

 

Reading body language and good signs of fidgeting

If you are playing poker you can use fidgeting as a way to throw a “tell” so that the opponent may think that you don’t have a good hand. In this case fidgeting is a good thing for you to do if you think that as a strategy it will give you an upper hand between you and the other players.

 

Oh so you thought that all examples here would be negative. In just about everything there can be a positive and a negative including using fidgeting to your advantage.

 

Ok so you want another example where fidgeting could be good for you? That would be if you are buying something and you know that you have room to negotiate or maybe you think that you don’t have room to negotiate. When you as the buyer get to the end of the conversation of price for the product or service you would just be quiet and fidget for a minute and more than likely the salesman will lower the price if he doesn’t know or understand your game. In this case fidgeting can make you money or save you some.

 

Nervous signs of communication can sometimes be a good thing like in gambling or negotiating.

 

 

Go out and fidget the right way for your own personality but be aware that others can see it for something that it may not be.

 

Reading body language is a skill that you can learn from a body language expert. Learn how to read body language signs and signals here.

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about fidgeting and body language.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Oops Gesture by Michal Marcol,Tied Hand by Danilo Rizzuti :Photo credits for reading body language of fidgeting

Reading body language of a first date part 2

Reading body language: First dates can cause the butterflies to pile up in the stomach especially when you take into account how much the other person is reading your body language.

 

Your handshake is the first kinesthetic touch from you possible new partner. Then the eye contact but before you get into the next areas did you prepare correctly? It’s not just your body language counts but so does your nonverbal communication of clothing.

 

That means how did you dress for your date?

 

Did you dress for the occasion correctly?

 

Reading body langauge while on a first date
Reading body language of a woman on a first date

 

Now for women dressing is super important and their body language will be defined by their clothes. For men you may not understand because for you it may be a matter of a pair of slacks or jeans an undershirt and a button up shirt and what about the shoes… that was too easy. The fact is it takes a woman long to put on her make up than it takes you to get dressed.

 

You say so what…

 

This has everything to do with your first date and you were about to blow it.

 

Now for women and their nonverbal communication of dressing the clothes, makeup, accessories and shoes are the big deal that is their non verbal communication. It’s not just the body language, if she feels good about herself then for her it will be a good first date no matter how good looking you are, how great the conversation was or even amazing coffee.

 

No remember you will react to the other persons body language male or female and then they will react to you. They may think that one action, signal, sign or movement means one thing because they could have heard a rumor as to what body language is. For a woman it will come down to how she feels when she dresses up.

 

Make the wrong comment and the great first date can be a really bad first date, but more on that later.

 

Now that you know what she had to go through for her outing what about you? There are a few things that you can do to screw it up. Here are a few ways:

 

Where or how you stand

As your first date approaches you how you are standing will make a difference, is your body language showing confidence?

 

Are you standing up straight?

 

Are you crammed in the corner?

 

Do you look scared or do you look calm?

 

Are you standing with a crowd or away from the crowd?

 

Reading body language signs on a first date
Reading body language of a woman on a first date

 

All of these things matter. If you are too far away from others it would seem that you are an outcast or possibly nervous as to meet with your first date. These cues of nonverbal action can break the date for you. If there are people at the meeting place sit just a few chairs away from them instead of sitting too far from them.

 

If you are going to stand and wait outside for the person being too close to the door may cause similar problems. All of these little things add up if you have never met the person before and they are a blind date or you have met on the internet.

 

Where and how you sit

So you have met and you passed the test and stood and waited in the right place. Now where to sit, this has everything to do with your nonverbal communication? If you sit too close to the other persons proximity this may make them nervous. If you sit too far away the other person will think that there is something wrong with you.

 

Now to sit the right way is your body facing theirs? Is your body facing away from the person for the first date? Now this does matter because if your body is facing away from theirs it may show that you are not into them. This may cause the person to react to your body language. The best way to sit would be a few degrees off so that you do not have full contact that may seem aggressive. You would then slowly move inwards in small increments until the both of you have built comfort and rapport as they turn inwards over time.

 

Turning into someone can happen in a moment or in a few minutes. Comfort may take a little longer for some to build over time than others. Depending on the man or the woman that you meet and what has happened previously in their life the timeline may change.

 

It is ok to sit next to the first date or away from them but remember too close or too far and there will be some repercussions.

 

For a guy sitting at a table sitting straight up with a slight relaxed posture would be fine the show confidence. The legs slightly spread keeps more comfort than crossing legs. For women it would be completely opposite typically crossed legs.

Slouching in the chair would have a few signs possibly of boredom or lack of interest. This body language to some would be considered offensive.  

 

What you touch on your body and theirs

Touching the other person beyond the handshake or the hug may take some time to build up to. Now remember different regions, countries or areas may have different beliefs in touch so this guide for the first date may not apply to everyone.

 

For men to touch women there are few places that can be touched that would be considered appropriate and many places that would be considered inappropriate. For men to touch women the best place to keep out of trouble is the upper arm from the elbow to the shoulder. Inappropriate places would be the upper chest, the neck or the lower back along with the legs, areas near genitalia or the belly.

 

Now these are general guidelines in some situations they may be thrown out the window depending upon the intention of the date from both parties.

 

For women to touch men there is a little more latitude when it comes to touch. Women can touch many more places and be seen as flirting but when done wrong they may seem more like sexual advances. If she goes too far above the knee it may mean more than just a touch.

 

There is so much to body language of the first date and this has just scratched the surface. Non verbal communication has many moving parts from clothes, to locations where to stand, to how and where to sit and even a hairstyle.

 Learn how to read body language with expertise

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about the body language of the first date.

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Now go implement!

 

Photo credits: Man Massaging Her Wife by Ambro, Couples Sat Hand In Hand And Smile by nuttakit

Reading the body lanaguage of men part 3

Reading Body language: Understanding and interpreting or reading the body language of men can be used to determine if he is interested in you as in flirting, help you know if you are being seduced or it can even help you in negotiating in a business setting.

 

Nonverbally the body says more than you would think and many times these automatic gestures or actions will allow you to read his body language quickly and effectively.

 

 The first 6 step of 9 in reading his body language are:

  1.       Proximity or distance from the person or the people involved
  2.       What position is his boy in compared to others         
  3.       Where his hands and what are they doing?
  4.       Look at the direction of his feet and what they are possibly pointing at  
  5.       Decide what his shoulders are doing to tilt his body
  6.       Loot at his posture and whether he is standing or sitting  

 

The last three items while reading his body language to gain an upper hand are not always as easy as the first six. Now nobody said that reading body language was “easy” and didn’t have any drawbacks. In most instances the combination of all of these items do help you gain a possible understanding of what is going on but there may or may not be some rules set in stone.

 

Take for instance the proximity or distance in a crowded situation people will have to be closer like at a busy bar setting the distance of his bell bubble closer than normal and this may also determine how far his hands can move away from his body. This is where it becomes increasingly important to watch the situation and figure out what is going on.

The body language of a man who is flirting
How can I tell if a guy is flirting with me? A way to read a mans body language

 

Another place where you can have some issues while reading and deciphering the body language of men is when you look at his posture: What if he has a medical condition and you make a snap judgment if he is showing confidence but because of an injury or something similar you read him and determine his body language is saying something else.

 

There is one rule that covers all the others and that is take you time to determine what his body language his saying by base lining or watching him for a few seconds or meanings to see his routines and normal actions.

 

So yes the rules do get a little complicated but by following these few steps you can determine what a man’s body language actions mean and keep you from being wrong in making snap judgments.

 

You may also have some unconscious reactions to these nonverbal cues and not really understand why unless you have previously looked into reading body language. You may have intuitively understood what things like his feet facing the door have meant but know you can tell for sure. Remember for you it matter how you react to situations while interpreting his non verbal actions mean. The ability to rad a mans body to understand his language is a skill.  

 

The last three steps in reading, interpreting and understanding a man’s body language are and can be a little more challenging.

 

Step 7, 8 and 9 – Reading men’s body language – look at his facial expressions, head and chin.

 

Now there is good reason that the last three things to look at while reading a man’s body language are all lumped together and that is because they interact with each other and rely on each other.

 

A mans facial expressions will help you determine the context of a situation. Are his eyebrows up or down, does his face show signs of stress or in other words is his jaw tight? Does he show signs of contempt? All of these items play into what reaction his body will show and can help you determine what he is saying nonverbally.

 

In most instances the center of the eyebrows going up can show signs of surprise, excitement. The eyebrows staying even can sometimes mean happiness while the center of the eyebrows moving down could be seen as anger or sorrow. Now this section of learning about what the eyebrows mean could fill pages alone and the explanation of micro-expressions would take more time and detail. Know that these are just quick generic rules and this information will be covered more later.

 

The eyebrows will set the stage for what the eyes will do and depending on what the eyebrows and face are doing the structure of the facial expression will help determine what the eyes will say about the situation.

 

Step 8 – Reading men’s body language – look at his head and the direction it is going.

 

The tilting of the head can show interest, reaction or even boredom. When the head reacts so will the rest of his body and the language that it communicates. If his shoulders are tilted his head will react also or his body’s position will look awkward. If he is interested he may lean his head in towards you while flirting but this may also happen if he is angry. This is where it comes in handy to understand what the actions of his eyebrows mean.

 

In some instances the tilting of the head away from a person can show attraction but chin would somewhat point at the person who the interest is found in.  

 

Step 9 – Reading men’s body language – look at his chin

 

Lumping facial expressions head and chin all together was done because they all interact at the same time but they are all categories of their own in a sense.

 

The chin down could mean a sign of sorrow or boredom and if a man is into you his chin may only go down to his chest for a second while he arched his eyebrows looking at you. Now this does depend upon the situation as does reading and interpreting most body language actions.

 

Body language of a man flirting
Body language and the interested man

The chin up could determine how much self-confidence the man has but that would also be encompassed with the other 8 steps. If the chin is too far up at may be a sign of arrogance or a stiff neck so you may want to save this body reading action for last.

 

Men do not normally communicate with their chin down to their chest and on the other end of the spectrum men normally do not communicate with their chin up as high as possible so determining where the correct or normal location can help you understand or interpret what state of mind he has or possibly even an emotion that he is feeling.  

 

 Reading body language note of caution

It is always important to note that these are all general guidelines and do not always 100% determine what is going on. Depending on where you are in the world and the social situations they could be wrong. It is a good idea to watch and see what reactions the people have who are interacting with others before judgments are made. It is also important for you to look at the context of a situation before you make judgments about what is going on. Reading body language is not always an exact mathematical formula meaning A+B = C it can be far more complicated than that.

 

Body language exercises

 

The eyebrows say more than you would think, for just a second arch your eyebrows as if you were angry, so that would mean that just above your nose your eyebrows would drop down and your eyes may squint.  How does that feel for just those few seconds?

 

Now open your eyes and arch your eyebrows as if you were surprised. Now in just those few quick instances how did either one of those exercises make you feel? When you are done reading this information try it in a mirror and see what your reactions are. Last try looking at a partner and do the same items to see what your reactions would be.

 

*As a side note this exercise may not help you if you decide to test this out on a person unless you let them know first what you are doing or you may just get a chance to interpret what their body language along with some verbal communication is saying*

 

 It is important for you to see what your body does and the possibilities of your reactions so that you know and understand what your own body language is saying so that you can identify what other peoples body language is portraying. Next let’s take a look at head tilts:

 

Now look and think about something in the room that you can see and would be interested in get interested in it and become curious about it. Did you tilt your head towards that thing you are interested in or thinking about or did you tilt your head away from the item or did you even tilt your head at all? Where did your chin go towards the item or away, to your chest or did you raise it?

 

Now do the same exercise as if you were angry with the item. Are you tilting towards it or away from it? Where does your chin go when you are not happy vs where does it go when you are happy?

What did you learn about yourself and how you communicate?

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about reading body language.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Photo credit: Businessman Sat Talking On Mobile Phone by Ambro, Loving Couple Look Each Other by photostock