Body language of licking lips

Body language of licking lips: Just for a minute imagine you are sitting in a meeting and the question about the new project goes to Joe and all of the sudden he starts licking his lips. And you think “wow this is unusual I have never seen Joe lick his lips, what on earth does it mean is he lying or is he excited”?


You ask your boyfriend where he was and all of the sudden all of his body language changes into something not normal. You see him say “I was with Steve” pause … pause … licking his lips  “and we went to a new bar” as he looks away. Could this be a sign and signal that your boyfriend is lying or did he really go to the new bar?


You go to a new bar and you look over in the corner and notice this girl who winks at you and slowly starts licking her lips. You pull out your phone and Google “Body language of licking lips” to find out how to interpret this sign or signal. Was that a sign of overtly flirting with you, was she thirsty or were her lips chapped?


Now it very well may be that licking lips means nothing …but just in case you decide it’s time to find out what the body language of licking lips means.


There are plenty of times where people lick their lips and there can be a few reasons why they do so.

  • ·         Out of necessity because of lack of moisture
  • ·         Excitement about an idea or thought non sexual
  • ·         Out of habit
  • ·         Nervous tick
  • ·         Caused by a lie
  • ·         Suggestive


Every day reason for licking lips

Now just think for a moment when you were out in the sun and were hot or even possibly when it was really cold and your lips were chapped. Did you lick your lips? The chances are great that you licking your lips meant absolutely nothing but that it was needed. Now if someone were in your peripheral they could read into a little differently. This is a reminder why you need to take a look at what the normal actions are of the person are who you are looking at while interpreting their body language.


Excitement and licking lips

There are some people that when they get excited about anything they lick their lips. This rush of energy has to go somewhere for them and the lips are the answer. You would see this as a common trait or action that happens. You would want to know this baseline before making a decision as to whether or not they are lying or if they are just excited about a thought or belief.


 Habit of licking lips or biting lips

There are also men and women who have developed the habit of licking or biting their lips over time and it means nothing except that it is a routine behavior. On the other hand if the man, woman or child has a normal behavior of licking their lips and all of the sudden in a situation that normal behavior doesn’t happen there might be a reason for it and it may not be good or it may need nothing at all. This means that it’s time to ask some questions to gather further information about what is going on.


 Nervous action of licking lips

On the next spectrum of the level from the body language of licking lips is the nervous tick or action. It may be the pressure of a tough question or an uncomfortable situation or room that would cause one to change their behavior and display. In this nervousness may fall the issue of lying but it doesn’t mean that there is a lie. It could very well be nervous energy just like a man or a woman tapping their foot. In fact you may see foot tapping and lip licking at the same time.


 Lying and licking lips

It could very well be that the man, woman or child that you are looking at is asked a tough question they pause and then they lick their lips with another pause and then answer your question. This may be a flat out sign that they are lying but be careful because remember it may be nervous energy. If you are a woman / girl and ask a guy do you love me? If he’s not ready be to answer this question be ready for all sorts of nervous behavior and stalls but even then it doesn’t mean he doesn’t love you or he’s lying that’s just a tough question all of the sudden.


In the case of lying you are looking for abnormal behavior or an action that is not a normal routine for the person that you are looking at. Sometimes it may seem that licking the lips may be a symbolic greasing of the lips to get the big whopper of a lie out of their mouth. This action may take place as a way to get another half a second to figure a story out.

If you spend some time watching the television show “Cops” you will see the suspects start licking their lips after a few tough questions are asked with long pauses or short pauses. Are the suspects lying before or after they lick their lips? Quite possibly but this show is a good place to look and watch for the signs and signals of lying.


Just remember before you try and confront your girlfriend, boyfriend, husband, wife, kid or coworker of lying look for abnormal behavior then question about it. You may see other signs you have never seen before or you may see normal routines remember the baseline their behavior first.

Seduction and licking of the lips

In the example of the woman licking her lips at the bar that would be considered overt behavior to induce behavior from you or whoever it was generated towards. The licking of the lips may be considered sensual when directed towards a person. Now this is the body language that movies scenes are based upon. You may see a man or woman lick their lips when they meet a new person and they may not even know that they are doing so. Just remember that this may be some nervous energy or it could mean something else entirely. This action may take a few minutes or it may happen instantly depending on what is going on in the mind of the two and the type of chemistry that they have.


Now there may be a tendency to look at the lips when a man or woman licks them but you may want to be careful because staring at the lips may be seen as being sexual. So all of the sudden you get excited that someone is licking their lips and you start staring and the other person takes your body language as sexually advanced and that’s not what they were licking their lips for.

Licking lips for many reasons

There may be more than one reason why a person would or could lick their lips while some of them may be good others reasons may be bad. It is important to take the time to learn the behaviors and characteristics of a person’s routine actions or baseline them to determine what their action means or could be interpreted to mean.


Understanding body language can help you determine what the actions that other people mean. Learning how to read body language can be fun and also done at home:


Now go implement!


Scott Sylvan Bell








Body language expert Scott Sylvan Bell explains the nonverbal action of licking lips: Video credit


Body language of jealousy

Reading body language: The body language of jealousy seems to be something that boyfriends, girlfriends, husbands or wives seem to want to know about when it comes to reading the body language of a man or woman. 


Jealous men and women have specific traits for their body language actions when it comes to being having jealous traits or actions.


Now there may be a few reasons why a man or woman could be jealous:

  • ·         A boyfriend or girlfriend could be getting attention from another person for dating or mating
  • ·         There could be a misread threat
  • ·         There could be general tension in the relationship to begin with
  • ·         The man or woman can be jealous for no reason


Reading body language of jealousy and frustration 

One of the first signs of jealousy in reading the body language of men or woman is that of frustration. The body language will be animated and hand movements will be sharp. The man or woman may shake their hand or their head in disapproval. The man or woman may get close to the person that they are jealous of and you may see their feet pointing at that person.


In some instances the jealous man or woman will watch their partner or perceived partner from a distance and their actions may either be considered stalking or may be borderline stalking.


Reading body language of jealousy and hand movements 

The hand movements and the rest of the body may be jerky when frustrated and jealous. The man or woman may point at their target of frustration and jealousy. The hands may be closed in a fist, open or they may be pointing at the man or the woman.


If the person is doing things that would help consider them to be a stalker they may hide their hands so that their anger and frustration does not “leak” as to what they are doing or may do.


Body language expert Scott Sylvan Bell demonstraits how to read the body language of jealousy
Body language of jealously explained


Reading body language of jealousy and facial expressions

The facial expressions of a jealous man or woman may vary form one person to another. When reading the body language of a jealous man or woman start with looking at the eyebrows and the forehead and then go lower from there. You will see signs of anger or sadness in the eyebrows. The face may be tight and the lips may show disgust or anger. In some cases it may look like the man or woman ate a lemon and on the other end of the spectrum you may see the man or woman show no facial expression at all.


When looking at the man or the woman who has no facial expression their body language will still show frustration and shortness or they may try and hide their facial expressions and emotions as to not give away their thoughts, anger, disgust or even contempt.


Reading body language of jealousy and eye contact

The eye contact of a man or woman that is jealous will be focused on one of two parties or both. The man or woman will keep an eye on the person that is the center of attention. This will be more of a stare than eye contact to keep up with the state of being jealous. It may be uncomfortable for others to be around for the amount of eye contact that is involved on the part of the jealous man or woman.


The jealous man or woman may not pay attention to others to keep their eye contact with their “target”. It may seem that the man or woman who has the jealous issues cannot focus on anything else but the person that they are attracted to or have a fascination with.


There may be an implied possession by the jealous man or woman by the eye contact made to others who are near the target of attention. If someone were to get near the person who is the object the jealous woman or man may give that person a stare down to create the belief of ownership.  


Body language expert Scott Sylvan Bell shows you how to read the body language of jealousy
Body language of jealousy for woman and men


Reading body language of jealousy and physical actions movements and proximity 


A jealous man or woman may find the need to stay close to the person that they are interested in. The man or woman may stay close to their target and need close physical contact and in some instances they may need to be held or touched constantly. The obsession may just be to have some contact with the “target” by being near them.


The physical actions may be from holding hands all the way to holding the person. Now some jealous people do not need to touch they just need to watch the other person and in some cases the stare towards their male of female target may be intense. It may be a control issue that needs to be understood or that is never interpreted correctly as to what the meaning is of the intent of the jealous man or woman until some physical actions take place.


The jealous man or woman may point at the man or woman who is the target of the jealousy or make signs or signals to show and threaten to the person they have their attraction of fascination with. These signs and or signals can be used to scare the “target” into submission or even to create fear if they know that they are the center of attention.


In some instances of jealousy violence may occur. The jealous woman or man may initiate a fight with other people who may be seen as a threat to their ability to be with the person that they are obsessed with.


In any instance jealousy is not something to be taken lightly whether if the object is a person or an item. People who exhibit the traits of being jealous may take actions into their own hands in order to protect their “target” or item so that they do not lose what they have “possession” of.


In order to understand the body language of men and woman like an expert go here:


As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about the body language of jealousy.


Now go implement!


Scott Sylvan Bell


Businesswoman Talking The Phone by David Castillo Dominici, woman with binoculars by credit for reading the body language of jealousy.

Reading body language of leaders part 2

Reading body language: Leadership has many important facets but one of the most important is the nonverbal communication that underlies the body language of the leader.  There are times where the actions of the body while communicating will erode the message from the leader.

Reading body language of leaders part 1


Reading body language of female leaders
Reading body language of effective leaders


At some point either our vocal words will betray us or the actions of the body will. There is however a downside and that is when people are watching you and listening have their own opinion to what your words and actions mean to them.


Reading body language of facial expressions

While watching the body language of a leader and interpreting their facial features may be the most telling and or damaging at the same time. Most people do not have the ability to hide what their face is doing. In many instances it is the hardened liar is used to keeping his or her facial features under wrap as to not give the emotion attention.


Most leaders who have spent time in front of audiences have had coaching as to what to do or not to do. Any body language coach worth their weight will help their clients learn to not use too many facial features because they may not connect with the viewer or client.


A good leader will keep their facial features blank when needed, disgusted when needed or even excited when needed. What you will find is that a well taught leader will use their facial expressions when needed and hopefully for them their body language that is being read will come across as confident.  On the other hand you may have someone who is a great leader but has not been coached as to what to do in public who can lose credibility because of their lack of training.


Reading the body language of a leaders message

Leaders know that they will at some point not only be on the end of a good message but they will also be on the receiving end of a bad message. Now there will be a mix of the posture, facial expressions and the movements of their body will either make or break the message of the leader. When a good message is delivered it is hard for the leader to ruin their fortune with body language but it can be done. When a leader gets caught up with a bad question or message you will see with some people their body language “squirm” for either a fraction of a second or even a few seconds. The leader may show in their body language:

  • ·         A new facial expression
  • ·         A deep breath
  • ·         The skin may become read or the leader may become blush
  • ·         The leader may have a body part that starts shaking
  • ·         The hands may now be used somehow to block the message or the answer
  • ·         Verbally the leader may stutter or the real answer may even be revealed and then the body language follows

When a leader has to deliver a bad message they may show the signs of sympathy, their body movements may be slower, their facial features may show sorrow or frustration and or the body language of the leader may lose the appeal of confidence (sunk in shoulders, loss of the glide in the movements of the body)


Reading the body language of reactions to questions

When reading the body language of a leader you will see that leaders who have a bad message will flinch when a tough question is asked. The nonverbal communication of the leader may or will display just as it would when either getting or giving a good or bad message.


Reading body language of a liar leader
Reading body language of leaders who lie


Usually a well-trained leader will know that a difficult question will be asked of them at the worst time and they have practiced scenarios so that their body language will not betray them. A well trained leader will also have been taught about composure when things are going well for them so that their reaction in their body language does not come across as gloating or arrogance.


Reading the body language of a leader lying

Leaders who have made the mistake of lying in public and then have been caught wish that they would not have leaked their mistakes. There are some very specific things that people do when they lie:

  •           Touch their face
  • ·         Become flush or blush
  • ·         Cover their mouths after the lie or even try to shovel the words back into their mouths
  • ·         Rub their bodies after the lie. The face, head, arms, legs or even the neck
  • ·         Look another direction than what they were looking before
  • ·         Lose composure of confidence
  • ·         The blinking rate may increase


Now any of these actions for the body language of lying may happen by themselves of a few can work together in a cluster. This “cluster of lies” becomes evident as it happens for those who can read the signs and signals of liars or the body language of liars.


Watching a leader and looking at their body language can be an eye opening experience. You may want to watch to see if they are telling the truth or if they are lying. You may want to read the body language and nonverbal communications to tell if they would make a good leader. In your judgment remember that first you must watch them and baseline their actions to see what is normal vs abnormal and to also see if they are reacting to someone else.  


Learning how to read body language like an expert may be easier than you would think.


As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about reading the body language of leaders.

Now go implement!



Scott Sylvan Bell



Business People Walking by Ambro,Business Woman With Laptop by David Castillo Dominici :Photo credits for reading body language of leaders

Reading body language of mirroring and rapport

Reading body language: People have the ability to build comfort while in the presence of others and the body language of rapport will give that comfort and that comes through the use of mirroring. All of these fancy words can be summed up as a way to help others be like you or you be like them.


First off for someone to be comfortable you will have to understand what the other person is doing with their body.


You must ask yourself a few questions to help build rapport and to use mirroring correctly.


Is the target person in a good or bad mood? This is important because you will need to know what is comfortable when mirroring and what is not because you will need to be similar.


Reading body language of mirroring
Reading body language skill of mirroring

You must also determine what your intention is and what you want to do, are you just trying to build comfort or mirror the person or are you trying to build rapport because they are two separate things.


Using body language by mirroring others to build comfort

Mirroring would just be to copy the actions of another person to build comfort as rapport follows after another word for this would be synchronicity.


When you mirror the body language that you read of the other person you will make similar actions that they do. Now there are some mistakes that people make when mirroring the body language of others to help build rapport:

  • Mirroring too quickly
  • Trying to hard to build comfort non verbally by being too similar


When you copy the body language of another person to mirror you will want to do this slowly and not at the same exact time as the other person this would be uncomfortable and the other person subconsciously or consciously would think something strange would be going on.


By moving too quickly you will give up your strategy and it may build mistrust.


If you are sitting and the target person crosses their legs you would wait a few seconds and cross your legs in a similar fashion it would not have to be exact.


If the person that you are mirroring reacts to changing their body language by changing theirs you have made a mistake at this point you would need to slow down. This going too quickly when mirroring others would fall into the trying too hard by doing to many items as the target person.


You don’t have to be in the exact position as the other person just similar this is where the trying too hard comes in.


Body language reading can help you build rapport

If the goal is to build comfort through the use of body language or non verbal communication taking your time with the other person is the key to both of these items.


Building rapport is a term used in Neuro Linguistic Programming or NLP it means that you are similar, not exact and that happens from mirroring another person. Synchronicity would be another explanation of rapport. Similar but not exact is key.


  • The person slouches in their chair and then so do you a few seconds or even a minute later in a similar fashion but not exact.
  • The person folds their arms and then so do you a few seconds or even a minute later in a similar fashion but not exact.
  • The person crosses their legs and then so do you a few seconds or even a minute later in a similar fashion but not exact.


Once again the key here is similar but not exact and a little slower than the other person.


Reading body language of building rapport
Reading body language while building rapport

The places that you can use mirroring and rapport can be numerous.

  • Work
  • Dating
  • At a party
  • At the coffee shop
  • At church


The places and times that you can use this body language skill are endless. Learning how to read the signs and signals of body language can be done through practicing mirroring to gain rapport.

Body language reading assignment

To learn how to build rapport by mirroring you can use a simple strategy to learn this talent.


Decide to spend some time out for an hour somewhere that there are other people who you can mirror. The best thing is to not attract too much attention to yourself and just be similar to a person that you choose. Now this target can be a man or a woman and it doesn’t matter their age.


Do as much of your work mirroring and build rapport through your peripheral vision. Remember to go slow and make your moves a little slower than the other person. As your starting to gain rapport you will notice yourself starting to want to move faster this is a sign that you are getting close to rapport.  This also means that your body language reading is close to what it needs to be.


After accepting this assignment that will not only help you learn how to read body language but will also give you the skill of mirroring and then building rapport. You may just find while doing this skill building exercise that the people that you mirror and then build rapport with will approach you in some instances.


This exercise may just help you get a new boyfriend or girlfriend in a covert way without them knowing why they were attracted to you. You may just gain a new client or even help yourself get out of a tense situation.


 Learn how to read body language like an expert


As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about mirroring and rapport.


Now go implement!


Scott Sylvan Bell


Romantic Young Couple Enjoying Their Love by photostock,Fashion Models by photostock  :Body language reading photo credits

Reading body language in pictures part 2

Reading body language of looking at photos: While learning how to ready the body language of others photos do give you some insight of where to start to learn this skill. In the last article on reading body language on understanding and interpreting photos we started out by determining what is important to look at.


Now there is the location of where the person or the people are, the proximity that they are to each other, the hands, the facial expressions and even the shoulders.


Now comes the question of what to look at when reading the body language of men or women in photos?


Reading bodylanguage of photos and filrting women
Reading bodylanguage of photos and attractive women


Who do you look at first in while reading the body language of people in photos?


The best place to start when looking at photos of people to determine their body language or their non verbal communication would be in the center.


The center of the photo is where the focus is normally where the center of attention is and then you would work your way out.


While looking at photos first determine:

  • ·         Who is happy in the photo
  • ·         Who is angry in the photo
  • ·         Who is sad in the photo
  • ·         Are there any weird facial expressions
  • ·         Is anybody holding any objects
  • ·         Does anything seem out of place


 Body language mismatch, who wants one?

Now after looking at what is going on in the photo you will look for a body language mismatch. While reading people you are going to look for people with different emotions. This could mean that nonverbally you see someone with body and facial expressions of being happy and the other person or people being angry.


If the person of the people in question are in a place where they should be happy and their facial expressions and nonverbal communication show that they are not happy this would count as a body language mismatch also.


The same could go from where a person should be surprised and then they are not, this would be another case of a body language mismatch.


If one person is dressed up and the other


Reading body language of the context of the photo.

If there is no mismatch in the body language of the person or the people in the photo next to the main person in the photo what is the context of the situation.

  • ·         Is the photo just for fun?
  • ·         Was there an event that people were going to?
  • ·         How are the people standing are they close or far away?
  • ·         Are the people in weird positions or places?
  • ·         Does it seem like the people want to be there or does it seem like they are trying to get away?


Reading the body language in photos, now you are ready

There is a ton of work to do upfront before you get the chance to read a photo for reading body language. There is so much to look at and understand so that you interpret the photo correctly. Where people make mistakes is where they jump to conclusions and judge a photo too quickly. All of the underlying work is that matters.


Look at the photo two separate times before you make the final analysis of what is going on nonverbally. There isn’t really any rush for you to make a determination as to what is going on.   


Next ask some other people what they think is going on.


Reading body language of men and photos
Reading body language of men in picutures


Once you start getting the same conclusions as other people you will be on the right path when reading the body language of others. You are right it seems like there is more work that imaginable when it comes to determining what body language means. Once you have done the readings a few times it gets easier.


Your interpretation of reading body language through the use pictures is how or where the best way to start to learn how to read nonverbal communication.


To learn how to read body language and get an understanding of what peoples actions, signs and signals mean here is your best source.


As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about reading the body language of others in photos.


Now go implement!


Scott Sylvan Bell


Reading and interpreting body language photo credits:  Blowing A Kiss by Ambro, Boy by africa

Reading body language of flirting men and women part 3

Reading body language: While reading and interpreting the body language of flirting by men or women the head, eyes, mouth and eyebrows have been discussed.


Determining what communication is while flirting for some can be a challenge when they try to read men or women’s body language.


The hands and the body are the two physical things that can be touched or used to flirt with men or women.


Reading body language and how women flirt
Reading body language signs and signals of flirting


There are times where touching the other person in order to flirt happen for both sexes. There are challenges with the body language of flirting because it is easy to go too far quickly and cross the line of appropriate actions.


While flirting with the hands touching the other person’s body can be done in a few places that right off would be along the realms of appropriate. The first safe place is the upper arm the second place would be the forearm and lastly the hand may be the last place that would be considered appropriate.  


Now there are some people who are just more “touchy” than other and may just come across as a big flirt and that is why you would have to look at the body language of the man or the woman who you consider flirting with you. Some of what you would have to consider would be their verbal actions but for the most part most flirting would come across as non verbal.


To determine if someone is flirting with you by touch you would have to consider the other signs of flirting.


Is the man or woman using the other nonverbal communication skills: A head tilt, the arching of eyebrows a wink, fluttering their eyes, licking their lips or even staring at the mouth? Those are all ways that flirting can happen.


The last part of flirting and body language would be contact with the body. There are times where men or women could be completely overt in their actions while flirting. For men or women a body brush can happen or occur. This is where someone brushes up against you and there was not a need. Now if you are in a crowded place it does not mean that someone is interested if they brush against you but if some of the other signs of flirting with body language are used you may have a man or a woman who is interested in you.


The body language of flirting can also use proximity or the distance that one person is from the person who they may be flirting with. In most instances the interested person will draw closer to the person that they are flirting with.

Now whether the person is close in proximity or a little further away “preening” may be used as a way to gain attention. The preening that could be used may include:

  • ·         Playing with hair
  • ·         Fixing clothing are fixing an accessory
  • ·         Rubbing a body part as a way to accentuate that specific area and in some instances this may be an explicit action.


Reading body language and signs of flirting
Reading body language and the signs of flirting by touch


Some of these actions while reading the body language of flirting can be seen directly while some of these actions may be a little more covert. The beast plan of action is to understand what each action means before having to interpret them incorrectly.  


Taking your time to learn how to read body language or non verbal communication of flirting and seduction can help you understand more about human relations.  


As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about reading body language or nonverbal communication.


Now go implement!


Scott Sylvan Bell


Photo credits:  Business Women by photostock, Asian Model Woman-Thai Ethnicity Beauty by posterize

Reading body language: Proximity and The Bell Bubble


Reading body language:

learning how to read nonverbal communication or even learning how to communicate more effectively through learning body language may take you to many places or events that you have never been to before.


You may just find that your communication verbally and nonverbally becomes more fluid and people understand you better. When people understand you better they do not have to take the time to try and interpret what you mean or what you are saying.


Just about every time you learn something new there will be specific parts that you learn that you will be uncomfortable with and there will also be parts or ideas that just seem to flow well.


What is body language specifically? The answer is what others read into what you are doing with your body while you are communicating and how you think it is being perceived in real time along with what the other person believes is going on. In essence someone or a group is reacting to you and then you are reacting to them. In some instances their reactions or your reactions are not even being done on purpose they are unconscious. Some questions from the person or people watching you or the other way around may be is the person:

  • ·         Telling the truth or believed to be trustworthy
  • ·         Looking for a date from a man or a woman
  • ·         Acting normal or overly animated
  • ·         A threat


While communicating there are rules to follow with your non verbal communication so that your message is seen as being effective and easy to follow, some you may know and some you may have never been told.


Body language can be perceived and will be perceived wrong from the person or the people that are watching. Proximity can be confused from person to person along with regional or national implications. In the United States people tend to like their space and that area is at least 18 inches around their body. This area or Bell Bubble is a comfort zone and when infiltrated tension occurs.


Understanding body language or nonverbal communication skills
Interpreting body language is a persuasive selling skill


The best way to define the area within the bell bubble is to stand up and swing your forearm up while your elbow is at your side. This distance from your elbow to your fingertips will range from 14 – 20 inches in most instances (for some people longer for some people shorter). This area would be considered your personal space and if you were to meet with another person for the most part here in the United States and other parts of the world that is what other people would consider part of their personal space.


Yes there are some things that translate from one country to another when it comes to body language.


Now you can also use this Bell Bubble to the right and left sides of your body as well. If you were to bring your forearm as if you were pointing to the right or to the left you would still be out the 14 – 20 inches to the side the Bell Bubble would still apply. Even if you could fold your arm backwards your comfort zone will be within 14 – 20 inches. This non-verbal tip is meant to help you to not break a proximity boundary.


Some people require more room so that they feel like they are not being threatened or it just may be a comfort zone in general.

Sometimes you have no verbal cues when you meet a person for the first time. In these instances communication skills are very important. One of the ways that you build rapport or comfort is by mirroring or doing similar actions as the person near you. By staying in an area of comfort which is at least 18 – 20 inches away from the person or even sometimes double that you have a better chance of getting your valuable message across.


What is body language? learn how to read your own communication
Proximity and the Bell Bubble for non-verbal skills


One easy way to keep outside of another person’s Bell Bubble is to be two arm distances away from the other person.  Now you can go too far away and that will seem strange and unusual the same as standing too close. When people react to you in a way that is easy to understand and interpret you know you have done something wrong almost instantly.


You know you are too close to a person or you have invaded their Bell Bubble when they either cringe or take a step back, in such an instance you would want to slowly move back over a few step as to not jump away too quickly. If your movements at this point are strange it will give the person a reason to not like or even trust you. This may lead them to strange facial expressions or they may even bulk up like they are about to fight. If done repeatedly the other person may think that you are playing mind games.


Learning how to read body language and even understand in interpret body language can benefit you once learned for business, dating, maintaining relationships, determining is someone is lying or you could even learn nonverbal communication skills just for fun. Learning how to read people can give you huge benefits.


Remember to keep people comfortable by not getting too close or too far and that for you to determine your Bell Bubble it is usually the distance from your elbow to your fingertips.


As always I would like to thank you for your comments and or questions in advance.


Now go implement!


Scott Sylvan Bell


Photo credits:  Intimate Couple In Bed by photostock, Business Handshake by chanpipat

Reading body language: How to interpret proximity

Reading body language:
When learning how to read body language or interpret non-verbal communications
there are a few concepts to build on and learn.


One of the first concepts to learn after social value or how
your message is viewed and judged by others would be the concept of proximity.


When evaluating the context of a situation and working on
understanding body language through pictures or judging a live situation
knowing how close people are can determine much of what is going on.

Understanding body langauge and proximity
interpreting body language of men and women


The distance that people are from each other is defined as
proximity. Whether you are reading male or female body language it is important
to understand what distances between people will change the meaning or context
of the situation. Even if you are working on deciphering what business people
are doing in relation to proximity the same rule apply.


There are certain distances for people where you are:

  • Intimate as in a relationship or even a really
    good friend
  • A close friend
  • A relative
  • A friend
  • A just introduced
  • Unknown or an enemy


The normal area to be considered intimate for a friend or a
relationship would be within 18 inches, a friend would be from the 18 inch range
to 36 inches and an unknown situation may be from 36 inches and beyond.


When reading or understanding body language you will need to
determine the context of the situation by understanding the relationship
between the people or the group that you are evaluating to determine what would
be appropriate. When looking at proximity it is your job to determine what is
going on in just a few seconds or within a minute what is going on.


It is possible to misread a situation as the distances
listed are only a guideline and not always an absolute. It is possible when
looking at a situation quickly to misread how the people being judged interact.


Reading the body language of men and women and interpreting the meanings
No verbal skills? try learning how to read body language.

Reading body language and interpreting what is being
conveyed is a skill that is sharpened over time and not just something that can
quickly be learned. Starting with the basics and moving from there will help to
build a foundation of knowledge that will help you over time.


As a homework assignment while out and about or even at work
start to pay attention as to how close people can get to each other before they
react by moving away from the other person. After a while you may start to see
people a little differently and may even determine that things are going on
that you may not have previously thought.


Your beliefs may change from seeing how people touch each
other, how close they stand, where they talk to each other when talking and how
comfortable they are when in the 18 in range or closer.


There is not a paper to turn in with the assignment as you
can do this work anywhere:

  • School
  • Work
  • At a gym
  • At a mall
  • At the corner market


It’s fun sometimes to just guess what people are doing or
how they are associated, if you have enough courage sometimes you can just go
and open up a conversation and ask people. If you get nervous tell them it is
an assignment for a communication course you are taking. Its ok people are
curious and they will open up. You may even find your “story” as a good way to meet


Interpreting nonverbal communication can be fun and almost
be seen as mind reading. Reading the body language of attraction is something
that can be learned over time but the first thing you should master is
understanding proximity between people and what it may mean.


As a last note when learning about body language there are
three things that can happen:

  1. You
    can be right, this would mean that you have judged the context of the situation
    correctly and identified what is happening or has happened
  2. You
    are partially correct and have identified some of the things going on but
    somewhere you were wrong
  3. You
    were wrong altogether and misread the situation or the context


There really are not any other options when learning about
body language or non-verbal communication skills.


The next class for you will be on the “Bell Bubble”.


As always I would like to thank you in advance for your
comments and or questions.


Now go implement!


Scott Sylvan Bell


Photo credits:Smiling Business Women In Focus by photostock, Couple Celebrating Together by photostock

Reading body langauge:Knowing your social value – part 2

Reading body language:
Learning how to read body language is a skill that compounds over time. Your
abilities to read nonverbal communication will become faster and more intense.
It may be that your skills for reading body language is not very advanced and
you may know the basics. When taking a look at pictures your skills may even
take longer in the beginning.


You may have learned about social value and what it means
when people see your non-verbal communication in real time.


There is a second part to learning about social value but
also living it. Self-control would be the missing aspect of social value.


Your ability to control yourself or the self-control factor is
always on display when in public or when transmitted on video and maybe past
the non-verbal area in audio form.


You are constantly being judged by those who are watching
you whether they are part of or associated with what you are doing.


You should be asking yourself:

  • Who is watching my actions?
  • What are others thinking?
  • Will there only be positive thoughts of my
    actions or can there be negative beliefs about what I am doing?
  • Can my actions be misconstrued?


These self-check questions are just guide lines to make sure
that you are being perceived as being seen as a positive light. Remember there
is always going to be a person who has to interpret what you are acting it.
This becomes even more important where you can lose value from others who are


Self control is a huge part of your non verbal or body language
communication and just for a second you are a salesperson and you do make
mistakes that would cause you to lose social value, do you think that you will
make the sale or transaction?


When was the last time that you were somewhere and there was
a person who was acting out of place? Was it uncomfortable? How did you feel
about the person? What thoughts did you assume about the person?


Every day when you are in public and you are communicating
your nonverbal communications are being judged as:

•           Positive
social value

•           Exempt
social value

•           No social
value or negative social value


One of the best ways to increase your body language skills
is to go to a bar or pub and watch people after they have a few to drink. The
people who have had a few drinks will let their guard down and not pay attention
to what they are doing like a person who is sober. Just remember if you decide
to drink you may be the person who is being judged if you do not control


I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and
or questions.


Now go implement!


Scott Sylvan Bell


Photo credits: