Reading body language of flirting men and women part 1

Reading body language: Flirting has to be one of the most mysterious items when it comes to people wanting to know how to read body language.

 

Understanding and interpreting what others mean when they flirt almost seems like a secret passed down between secret societies.

 

Flirting is something that you do with your body language to see if another person is interests in you. Sometimes this flirting can be done to get just a little attention or it can be done to find a date with a man or a women or it can even be done on the path to a soul mate.

 

Knowing what each part of the body can do to help you flirt gives you an advantage, it can also clue you in why you keep meeting interesting people and they think that you are into them.

 

Flirting women and their body language
Reading body language of flirting women for dating

Reading the body language men or women flirting or even learning how to flirt with a man or woman can be fun and find you some new friends.

 

Learning and understanding these nonverbal cues will tune you in to all the times where someone has flirted with you and you were oblivious to the body language that the person was using to flirt with you.

 

To learn how to flirt it may take a visit to some information learned from pick up artists (PUA). One of the first rules taught to men who want to learn how to pick women up is the “Three second rule” this rules states that the woman, man or “target” should either be approached or flirted with within 3 seconds of finding interest in the person so that you do not build up internal resistance.

 

The body language of flirting can follow these rules but you don’t have to. Flirting can be done on your own time but understand that if you decide to take too long with setting the “hook” on some sort of attraction the man or woman that you are interested in may not ever get your nonverbal messages.

 

To learn how to flirt you must first learn what tools that you have on your body first, they are from the top:

  • Your head
  • Your eyebrows
  • Your eyes
  • Your mouth
  • Your body
  • Your hands

 

Now this may seem like it could just be your whole body to make flirting happen and that can be the case also.

 

Using your head to flirt

When you flirt with a man or a woman your head is used as a way to show interest in the other person. Sometimes with your body language you will decide to tilt you head towards the person or “target” you are interested in and when you are done playing with your “target” you may decide to pull away.

 

The tilting of your head towards a person or a way from a person can show interest and begin to flirt. This is the first part of the equation of flirting and not meant to be the whole series of actions but to start at the top of the body is the best place.

 

If you learn how to tilt your heard correctly during conversations this skill can be used for far more than flirting it can be used for persuasive sales skills. This is just one of the parts for one of the first steps. You must build a foundation to correctly convey the body language of flirting.

 

Reading body language of flirting women
Reading body language can teach you flirting by women

While talking with another person the tilting of the head slightly to forwards, backwards to the left or to the right can convey interest in the subject or the person almost as if you are asking the other person to tell you more by pulling your ear away from them slightly and the opposite would to be to tilt your head towards the person as to show you do not believe what they are saying.  This skill must be practiced flirt before you try to flirt if you do not know what you are doing. Use the flirting exercise below.

 

Flirting exercise

Now you can test this while talking to another person by slightly leaning your head into the conversation to see the reaction of the other person and then you will want to do the opposite and lean your head out of conversations lightly. A word of warning when overdone the other person will think that you are strange so you must be careful with how far you lean your head towards or away from a person and how often you do this. Slight tilt is the key for this nonverbal strategy to work.

 

On of the best places to practice the body language of flirting is at a place far from your home where you know that you will not run into people you will ever see again that way there is no real risk if someone thinks you are strange but if you find someone who is interested the sky is the limit for you.

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about the body language of flirting.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Photo credits:Gossiping by Ambro, Smiling Woman by David Castillo Dominici

Reading the body lanaguage of men part 3

Reading Body language: Understanding and interpreting or reading the body language of men can be used to determine if he is interested in you as in flirting, help you know if you are being seduced or it can even help you in negotiating in a business setting.

 

Nonverbally the body says more than you would think and many times these automatic gestures or actions will allow you to read his body language quickly and effectively.

 

 The first 6 step of 9 in reading his body language are:

  1.       Proximity or distance from the person or the people involved
  2.       What position is his boy in compared to others         
  3.       Where his hands and what are they doing?
  4.       Look at the direction of his feet and what they are possibly pointing at  
  5.       Decide what his shoulders are doing to tilt his body
  6.       Loot at his posture and whether he is standing or sitting  

 

The last three items while reading his body language to gain an upper hand are not always as easy as the first six. Now nobody said that reading body language was “easy” and didn’t have any drawbacks. In most instances the combination of all of these items do help you gain a possible understanding of what is going on but there may or may not be some rules set in stone.

 

Take for instance the proximity or distance in a crowded situation people will have to be closer like at a busy bar setting the distance of his bell bubble closer than normal and this may also determine how far his hands can move away from his body. This is where it becomes increasingly important to watch the situation and figure out what is going on.

The body language of a man who is flirting
How can I tell if a guy is flirting with me? A way to read a mans body language

 

Another place where you can have some issues while reading and deciphering the body language of men is when you look at his posture: What if he has a medical condition and you make a snap judgment if he is showing confidence but because of an injury or something similar you read him and determine his body language is saying something else.

 

There is one rule that covers all the others and that is take you time to determine what his body language his saying by base lining or watching him for a few seconds or meanings to see his routines and normal actions.

 

So yes the rules do get a little complicated but by following these few steps you can determine what a man’s body language actions mean and keep you from being wrong in making snap judgments.

 

You may also have some unconscious reactions to these nonverbal cues and not really understand why unless you have previously looked into reading body language. You may have intuitively understood what things like his feet facing the door have meant but know you can tell for sure. Remember for you it matter how you react to situations while interpreting his non verbal actions mean. The ability to rad a mans body to understand his language is a skill.  

 

The last three steps in reading, interpreting and understanding a man’s body language are and can be a little more challenging.

 

Step 7, 8 and 9 – Reading men’s body language – look at his facial expressions, head and chin.

 

Now there is good reason that the last three things to look at while reading a man’s body language are all lumped together and that is because they interact with each other and rely on each other.

 

A mans facial expressions will help you determine the context of a situation. Are his eyebrows up or down, does his face show signs of stress or in other words is his jaw tight? Does he show signs of contempt? All of these items play into what reaction his body will show and can help you determine what he is saying nonverbally.

 

In most instances the center of the eyebrows going up can show signs of surprise, excitement. The eyebrows staying even can sometimes mean happiness while the center of the eyebrows moving down could be seen as anger or sorrow. Now this section of learning about what the eyebrows mean could fill pages alone and the explanation of micro-expressions would take more time and detail. Know that these are just quick generic rules and this information will be covered more later.

 

The eyebrows will set the stage for what the eyes will do and depending on what the eyebrows and face are doing the structure of the facial expression will help determine what the eyes will say about the situation.

 

Step 8 – Reading men’s body language – look at his head and the direction it is going.

 

The tilting of the head can show interest, reaction or even boredom. When the head reacts so will the rest of his body and the language that it communicates. If his shoulders are tilted his head will react also or his body’s position will look awkward. If he is interested he may lean his head in towards you while flirting but this may also happen if he is angry. This is where it comes in handy to understand what the actions of his eyebrows mean.

 

In some instances the tilting of the head away from a person can show attraction but chin would somewhat point at the person who the interest is found in.  

 

Step 9 – Reading men’s body language – look at his chin

 

Lumping facial expressions head and chin all together was done because they all interact at the same time but they are all categories of their own in a sense.

 

The chin down could mean a sign of sorrow or boredom and if a man is into you his chin may only go down to his chest for a second while he arched his eyebrows looking at you. Now this does depend upon the situation as does reading and interpreting most body language actions.

 

Body language of a man flirting
Body language and the interested man

The chin up could determine how much self-confidence the man has but that would also be encompassed with the other 8 steps. If the chin is too far up at may be a sign of arrogance or a stiff neck so you may want to save this body reading action for last.

 

Men do not normally communicate with their chin down to their chest and on the other end of the spectrum men normally do not communicate with their chin up as high as possible so determining where the correct or normal location can help you understand or interpret what state of mind he has or possibly even an emotion that he is feeling.  

 

 Reading body language note of caution

It is always important to note that these are all general guidelines and do not always 100% determine what is going on. Depending on where you are in the world and the social situations they could be wrong. It is a good idea to watch and see what reactions the people have who are interacting with others before judgments are made. It is also important for you to look at the context of a situation before you make judgments about what is going on. Reading body language is not always an exact mathematical formula meaning A+B = C it can be far more complicated than that.

 

Body language exercises

 

The eyebrows say more than you would think, for just a second arch your eyebrows as if you were angry, so that would mean that just above your nose your eyebrows would drop down and your eyes may squint.  How does that feel for just those few seconds?

 

Now open your eyes and arch your eyebrows as if you were surprised. Now in just those few quick instances how did either one of those exercises make you feel? When you are done reading this information try it in a mirror and see what your reactions are. Last try looking at a partner and do the same items to see what your reactions would be.

 

*As a side note this exercise may not help you if you decide to test this out on a person unless you let them know first what you are doing or you may just get a chance to interpret what their body language along with some verbal communication is saying*

 

 It is important for you to see what your body does and the possibilities of your reactions so that you know and understand what your own body language is saying so that you can identify what other peoples body language is portraying. Next let’s take a look at head tilts:

 

Now look and think about something in the room that you can see and would be interested in get interested in it and become curious about it. Did you tilt your head towards that thing you are interested in or thinking about or did you tilt your head away from the item or did you even tilt your head at all? Where did your chin go towards the item or away, to your chest or did you raise it?

 

Now do the same exercise as if you were angry with the item. Are you tilting towards it or away from it? Where does your chin go when you are not happy vs where does it go when you are happy?

What did you learn about yourself and how you communicate?

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about reading body language.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Photo credit: Businessman Sat Talking On Mobile Phone by Ambro, Loving Couple Look Each Other by photostock

 

Reading body language of men part 2

 

body language of mens posture can determine flirting
Body langugae of men and seduction

Reading Body language: When looking or reading the body language of men there is a simple 9 step process that helps you understand what nonverbal communication is happening

.

The first 3 steps in reading his body language for business, datting or seduction or even safety are:

1.      Proximity or distance from the person or the people involved

2.      What position is his boy in compared to others?

3.      Where his hands and what are they doing?

 

The next three steps in reading his body language consist of determining a few more things that will help you decipher the situation and what is going on between him and others.

 

Step 4 – Reading men’s body language – look at his feet

When looking at a man to determine what his communication is you will look at his feet. Now the feet will either consciously or subconsciously point to what he is thinking about or what he may be interested in you.

 

Is he thinking about the woman over in the corner? He may start by pivoting his body and then will eventually get the courage to go over and flirt with her, he may already be engaged in flirting with the woman and he is waiting for the perfect time to go over and chat her up.

 

In a business setting the body language of his feet may be saying that he needs to leave, the new potential client is long winded and he has a meeting to get to. His feet or even maybe one foot will point at the door and a way saying “I want to go that way and get out of here.

 

So there is the potential when reading his body language of a man that it may be he is either interested in something going where his feet point at that person or object on or uninterested and then will point his foot or feet at that object or person.   

 

In the instance of non verbal communication the feet may determine the direction of conversations and actions literally.

 

Step 5 – Reading men’s body language – look at his shoulders

The next step while reading the body language of a man for dating or business is to look at his shoulders in context of his feet. If he is standing the second he points his feet any other direction than forward his shoulder will dip towards the direction that his foot is going.

 

There is a very simple body language exercise of standing and directing both feet directly at the wall in front of you and then slightly start to twist the right foot and start to move it towards the wall to your right. If you do this in a mirror you will see you shoulder drop.

 

This same exact nonverbal cue will happen for men or for women so it is important to note that your shoulders will be a gibe away for whatever your feet are doing.

 

The shoulders will also determine the amount of self-confidence that he may have. If his shoulders are drooped there is a possibility that he lacks confidence especially if his chin is down. Now be careful here because it may be that he is tired and or that the chair he is sitting in is not comfortable this is where the signs and signals of a man’s body language may be misinterpreted. This non verbal communication of the shoulders must be looked at in context of everything else that is going on and not just by itself.  

 

If the shoulders are up and the chin is up there is a good possibility that everything is ok with what is going on around him. There is one clue as to if there is danger or stress and as his shoulders will be rolled back and more than likely his fists will be balled up if there is confrontation going on between him and others. This puffing up is a natural reaction of a fight or an altercation.

 

Learning how to read the body language of men does take some time to learn and there is more elements to look at nonverbally than just one specific body part.

 

Shoulders and chins can help determine the body language of men
Understand his body language by learning about his shoulders and chin

 

Step 6 – Reading men’s body language – Look at his posture

In reading the body language of men the posture is next on the list now this item is similar to where the shoulders are but now you would take into account his stance and whether he is standing or sitting.

 

The posture will play a part in his confidence but also if he is attentive to what is going on.

 

If the man is sitting and he is slumped forward do you think that he is interested in what is going on around him? Is it possible for him to see everything that is going on? If he is out looking for a woman or a partner can he see the cues or the flirting action of others.

 

If he is at work can he pay attention to what is being presented to him if he is in a meeting?

 

Does he seem confident as to what is being said or being presented?

 

In most instance his posture will determine his body language and most of the nonverbal emotional cues that go along with it.   

 

If he is flirting with a woman or a man his posture should show that he is interested by it being attentive. This does go back to primal days when people had to “peacock” or make themselves more attractive. “Peacocking” is a term used by pick up artists or seduction artists. If he were to slump down this effect would not be possible. When animals are in the mating mode they take up as much space as they can to be visible so their posture goes straight up and whatever parts of the body can go out to attract attention follow. Now this “peacocking” animal style would be a bad idea for a man who was trying to attract a mate to put his arms as far ways from his body as possible or to try and take up as much room as possible as it would go against social norms and he would lose social value. If he were trying to seduce a mate he would “peacock” on a smaller scale.

 

Body language or nonverbal communication exercise

 

As a body language exercise stand up straight with your shoulders out and with your chin up  breath in deep and exhale deep (but not too much where you pass out) and try and feel sorry for yourself or even try to not feel confident. Now do what you would to feel confident.

 

Now do the opposite stand up and roll your shoulders in chin down and breath slow and shallow and try and feel confident or excited.

 

What did you find?

 

If you did the exercise you would find it is hard for you to be in a good state of mind when your body language goes against what you are thinking.

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about the body language of men or women.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Photo credits:  Business Man by Andy Newson, Man With Sunglasses by photostock

Reading body langauge of men part 1

Reading body language: When reading the body language of men there are a few things that you must do in order to interpret their activities. Communication skills for men or women go far beyond just having a verbal conversation, what is the body saying while the words are being used?

 

If you are a woman looking for a date or even someone in business who is trying to get an upper hand you may find it easy to understate the value of understanding the body signals and interactions of men.

 

Reading body language or nonverbal communication can be as difficult as you want to make it but for the most part reading the body language of men may be less complex than reading the body language of women.  

 

With reading the body language of men or women the first thing to do is to look at the situation first to baseline what is going on. Using this simple 9 step process you can determine what his body language signals are saying nonverbally.

 

The body language of men and their postions
How to interpret the body language of men

Step 1 – Reading men’s body language – What is the proximity?

 

Understanding body language begins with looking at the context of the situation; are the people close or are the far apart. By close are they within the bell bubble or 18 inches (45cm) from each other or is the distance greater?

 

The distance between the man and the other or others will determine how close the person or the people are as friends or if they are strangers. Usually people who are intimate as friends in that they have known each other for a while can enter into the 18 inch barrier (45 cm) and show no signs of discomfort or lack of trust.

 

Now this 18 inch (45 cm) barrier is a general guideline and not an absolute there are some men or women who have a 36 inch (91cm) proximity comfort zone while some men or women may not mind another person being near them even close enough for touch.  

 

The proximity of people and men will determine what communication is taking place and how intense or how intimate the interactions are.  

When women flirt with men sometimes they will touch or enter closer into the man with proximity. Now with flirting it does not always mean that the woman will get closer to the man in proximity but it can happen.

 

Step 2 – Reading men’s body language – What position is the body in?

 

Once you have determined how far away the person or the people are away from each other you can now look at the position of the body.

 

Knowing the position of the body will clue you in to understand what the context of the situation is.

  • ·         Is the man standing
  • ·         Is the man sitting
  • ·         Is the man leaning
  • ·         Is the other person or people in relation to the man doing similar activities or are they in other positions?

 

The context will tell you what type of interaction that the person or group should have. This information will set the stage for base lining the signs and the signals that the man should have with his body language.

 

Typically if he is sitting the other people should be sitting also, if he is standing the other people or person should be standing also. Now this is a general rule and not always an absolute as in many instances with body language.

If the man is flirting with a woman he may draw in closer to her and position himself so that he has a communication advantage with her.   

 

 Step 3 – Reading men’s body language – Look at his hands

 

Looking at a man’s hands when he is interacting with others may define the situation as it is happening.  The hands will determine the situation and some of the context along with defining some of the proximity.

 

Learn how to read the body language of men
Reading the body language of men for flirting

Depending upon the situation and the amount of people the hands will show if:

  • ·         There is common ground between the two people ar the group
  • ·         Aggression between the people or the person in question
  • ·         How close intimate the group is and sometimes it may judge how long they have known each other

 

When people are under stress or duress their hands will normally close as a way that begins the protection process. When people are about the fight they ball up their fists and will leave them at their sides in order to make a strike. Almost every time when people have their fists balled up it is to help “protect” the body subconsciously.

 

If the hands are flat open it is normally a sign that things are ok and not aggressive. Nonverbally the hands say and determine much of the body language.

 

Is the man holding something? If he is holding a drink is it in front of him where it is a barrier? If the man does hold the drink in front of him it may show a lack of confidence or a non verbal barrier to keep others away.

 

If the man is holding a drink to his side it may just mean that he is comfortable. It may not always be a drink that the man is holding it may be a book, it may be a briefcase it could even be a jacket. Know that just because there is something in front of the man it does not mean that he lacks confidence.

 

The hands of a man sometimes will be open or more animated when fliting and may even do so when the man is excited in general.

 

First determine proximity then the position and then the hands and you can understand why his body language is acting the way it is even without verbal communication.

 

Next up will be the next 3 steps in reading men’s body language.

 

 As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about reading body language.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Photo credits: Handsome Young Man Looking Up by photostock, Young Man by photostock

 

Reading body language: Are you making these common nonverbal mistakes?

Reading body language: How do I avoid making people uncomfortable while communicating effectively? This is a common question that is asked of those who know how to explain body language or nonverbal communication.

 

The answer isn’t always that simple.

 

Sometimes people just don’t get it or they just don’t care. When communicating with others there are nonverbal things that can be done to make the people who are being spoken to entirely uncomfortable and when these offenses are done it could be a complete accident or the pther person is oblivious as to what they do.

 

Have you ever walked away from a person and have not understood why you were uncomfortable with what they said to you, or it could have been you were just creeped out and walked away with the chills?

 

Chances were that the body language or the non verbal communication skills of the offender were not that good or they were just someone who lacked social skills so that their style of communication was unusual and or very uncomfortable.

 

Do you make these common body language mistakes?

 

Here are some of the ways that you can unconsciously offend those around you and cause your message to not be delivered. Now it doesn’t matter if you are in sales, looking for a boyfriend or girlfriend or just talking to a friend you can make these mistakes.

 

Body language of the eyes: Now for many people visual contact will make or break the way that your message is or not delivered. It usually isn’t the lack of eye contact that causes a problem it is the location at which the people look. Here is the most common issues that people find themselves in besides lack of eye contact:

 

  • ·         Staring at the lips, not this is usually a sign of sexual advance and not the best way to nonverbally communicate while talking to a man or a woman unless it is a sexual advance that you want.
  • ·         Staring at body parts, now for men it is difficult to look at some women without  looking at specific places especially when the clothing allows a distraction.
  • ·         Shifty eyes, there are some people who just look at everything and it seems as if there may be a possible drug problem.
  • ·         When having a conversation with a person the best area to look at is across the eyebrows to the bottom of the nose. If you would like to make a person uncomfortable you can stare at their chin or forehead and this can be used as a ploy for some negotiators.

The rules of nonverbal communication include proximity

 

When it comes to making people uncomfortable with body language next on the list would be proximity or how close people are to you. There are a few offenses that people can make when it comes to not understanding proximity that should be used in a given situation. Here are the most common mistakes that people make when identifying the distance that can be comfortable while communicating.

 

  • ·         Standing too close to the person who you are talking to. This is uncomfortable and causes the person to not listen to the message but question in their head “why is this person standing so close” the whole time you are talking to the
  • ·         The opposite of standing too close would to have a conversation form an uncomfortable distance. When communicating either verbally or nonverbally there is an acceptable distance to stand away from the person who is communicating with you. If you are too far away it just seems strange and doesn’t feel like the message can be delivered. The communication is strained and then has a tough time being effective.

 

Does body language include touching another person, or is that seduction?

 

Last on the list of uncomfortable body language or nonverbal communication skills is touch. If you are a man there is a double standard for sure when it comes to touching another person. It is perfectly acceptable for a woman to touch a man or a woman but when the situation is the other way around it is not always acceptable for a man to touch a woman. This is a social norm you can’t really change.

 

Some people will move too quickly with touch if they are attracted to the other person, it may seem like it is a hypnotic response where touch seems required in their mind but it is too much too soon.

 

  • ·         Touching someone too soon into a conversation or even a relationship is not a good idea. Kinesthetic people or those who are more touchy feely have a tough time with this boundary and then do not understand why there is such a bad reaction to their style of communicating. If you touch a person before you have acceptable rapport can cause mistrust or even cause a confrontation. This can be confused by them because they as a kinesthetic person do not have a problem standing or sitting in close proximity to another person.
  • ·         Touching someone in an inappropriate place is a huge offense. Now you may not think that some places would be off limits so the best place to touch a woman is usually on the upper arm from between the elbow to the shoulder. If you do not know the person very well the upper arm is the only location to touch besides the top of the hand when appropriate. Now this rule may be entirely different if you are trying to attract or even seduce another person.  

 

Your ability to deliver an effective message is up to you. Your body language and non verbal communication skills are going to determine what people think when they are done with a conversation with you. What communication is may not always be defined by you.

 

To learn more about the different styles of learning or modalities NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming would be a good start to build better rapport or even to learn how to communicate more effectively. This would include kinesthetic, visual and even auditory modalities of learning.

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comment and or questions about body language.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Photo credits:

Reading body language: How to learn to read body language or nonverbal communication, an easy guide

 

Reading body language: While reading body language there are many things that you have to do as an observer to get a better understanding of what is going on between the people or group and their nonverbal communication.

 

It isn’t always the case where a person can just walk up and instantly know what is going on between a group or even between two people without making mistakes.

 

It has been said many times that a baseline or understanding has to be met to see what is going on. People who read body are sometimes seen as mind readers or clairvoyant but it may be from their training or previous experience.  If you jump to conclusions you can find yourself in some trouble or even in a confrontational setting.

 

There are so many situations where being able to read body language will give you an upper hand whether it is in your personal life, business life or even your dating life.

 

While looking at the body language of people there are only a few situations where it can be done:

  • ·         Live: where you are there in the moment looking as the situation is going on. You have only one chance to make sure that your reactions happen the right way and there is little room for error or bad judgment.
  • ·         Picture: You can look at a picture of series of pictures to determine what has happened the downside is that you are getting such a short sample of what has happened and you may be wrong as to the context of your judgment.
  • ·         Video: you get a snapshot in time as to how interactions between people have worked out as an added benefit you can stop and rewind a situation to look at it again.

 

If a picture is used this is only one small frame or snapshot in time for what has been happening but it doesn’t tell you exactly what was going on before. Video is a better format when possible to help understand what is going on with body language of friends or family. Being live or real time has the most amount of scrutiny because if you make a bad decision there is no going back.

 

While interpreting nonverbal communication there are a few things that you are looking for to decipher the situation.

 

 How does proximity affect body language interpretations or understandings?

The first and most telling of these situations would be proximity. Determining how close people are to each other will help you see the situation for what it is and for what is going on. While reading the body language of men or women the first thing to decide is what is or would be an appropriate distance to keep between the people.  

  • ·         How close are the people standing or sitting?
  • ·         Are the people within the “bell bubble” or the 18 inch distance from the body

Body language test #1

 

Stand face to face to a friend or relative five feet apart and slowly get closer to each other and note where either your decide that you are o close for comfort or their body language shows that that they are uncomfortable. It will be beyond a sight in some instances you will just feel uncomfortable.

 

Directions of the body and nonverbal communication

The next thing to look at while reading body language would be the body and or the direction the people are facing. This is going to show you inconsistencies or incongruences for things that may not be working out

 

  • ·         Are the people sitting, standing
  • ·         Where are the feet pointing if you can see them
  • ·         What is the trunk of the body doing?
  • ·         How are the shoulders sitting

 

The feet will help you understand if the person being viewed wants to get away from the situation because now the trunk of the body can follow. Is the body saying that the person needs to get away so that the shoulders are at a strange angle or are they showing closeness? In most instances people who are close will have their shoulders parallel to the other persons shoulders no matter how they are sitting or standing. Sometimes when the shoulders are at a slant moving away from the opposing body this could show that the person needs to get away but this is not always the case. If the shoulders are off congruency the rest of the trunk of the body will be also.

Body language test #2

To test this out sit in a chair and face your body towards a person, now you will keep the trunk of your body straight while twisting your shoulders slightly to your right. How do you feel about the person that you are facing? Now ask them how they feel about you. You can have them perform this same test just to see what it feels like. How do you feel about the body language that is being displayed when you get too close?

 

To take this body language test one step further have a conversation where you would feel like you would need good eye contact to practice with: meaning not a real conversation but one where you could imagine the both of you talking about something semiserious.

 

What communication is consistent between the two of you and where does the communication drop off?

 

 The context of touch and body language

 

Now you can determine what type of touch is going on while looking at the non verbal communication. The context of touch will be telling as to what type of relationship the people have, while learning about body language the context of touch is an important aspect to learn.

  • ·         Is the touch slight with a hand or a fingertip or is it a hug or a full body cover up
  • ·         Where on the body is the touch occurring, is it a place where a stranger would be allowed to touch or is it something a close friend would be involved with or lastly is it a lover or possible seducer.
  • ·         Is there reaction to the touch meaning is it comfortable for the person being touched or is there some issue there?

 

On the list or deciphering a situation while reading male or female body language next up the face and head will show you what is going on.

 

 The body language of your face and your expressions

 

 One of the most common areas to look to see what is being communicated nonverbally is to look at the face. This will help you understand better what communication is being used or portrayed.

 

From you looking at the peoples facial expressions does it seem like the person or people are:

  • ·         Happy
  • ·         Sad
  • ·         Scared
  • ·         Indifferent
  • ·         Nervous

These are just a few of the emotions the face can tell or put another way does each person in the situation exhibit the same emotion or is there a mismatch as to what is going on while one person has a smile the other person has a scowl on their face. If this is the case there is a problem here and this mismatch should be easily visible. Within this category would be the eyes and what they are doing.

 

Are the eyes of both parties going towards each other, are they looking at the common goal, is one person looking away while the person who should be looking that the same object obsessed with another object or person?

 

These are some of the firsts keys to look at while deciphering or understand the body language of men or women for work, fun or even seduction.

 

 As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about body language.

 

 Now go implement!

 

 Scott Sylvan Bell

 

 Photo credits:

 

Reading body language: How to spot a liar part 2

Reading body language: When reading the body language of deception or lies there is a long list of items to look at to determine if a man or woman is lying.

 

There is one universal body part to look at while determining if nonverbal communication is accurate.

 

While reading the body language of a man or woman it is important to get a feel for their normal activities or body language signs that are normal for them. When you have taken the time to learn people body language signals that they use when they are being inaccurate it will almost seem that you can read minds or that you are clairvoyant.   

 

Take for instance a person who is nervous when they are under pressure they will have certain things that they do constantly. It could be that they:

  • ·         Rub their hands
  • ·         Sweat when nervous
  • ·         Dressed different than what they are comfortable in
  • ·         Shift more than normal
  • ·         Licking their lips
  • ·         Playing with their hair
  • ·         Touching their face
  • ·         Abnormal movement in their chair or seat
  • ·         Lack of eye contact or over excessive eye contact
  • ·         Breath differently taking deep breathes or even staggered breaths
  • ·         Tap their feet on the ground or their hands on a table
  • ·         Directing the feet towards an exit

 

Now everyone has a go to body language or non verbal “tell” when they are nervous and it is important to identify it when possible. This idea has been mentioned quite a few times in order to remind you that under any given circumstance people will react in a specific way. This nonverbal “tell” may even include a facial expression or a signature movement with the hands or even a nod. The problem is that many times “tells” of nervousness can be the same tells that a person uses when they are lying.

 

How to tell if someone is lying with body language
Is my girlfriend cheating on me signs of body langugae

 

How to tell if a man or woman is lying!

 

So what happens if you meet a person for the first time and you don’t have a lot of time to determine if they are telling you the truth? There are a few things that will help determine if what they are saying is as accurate as their body language.

 

One way is that their story may be too good to be true or over told to make up what they think would be a deficiency in their own story. In this example the story may seem like it is pushed through and either overly detailed in areas that you would not normally ask about or seem like the story is too fast and there are too many holes that do not make sense. You would be able to look for abnormal actions like touching the face or even using the lobster claw of deception.

 

One way that commonly gets confused when it comes to reading body language especially when it comes to lying is that of the direction and orientation of the eyes.

 

NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming teaches that by looking at the location of the iris of the eye can determine the modality of learning for a person meaning are they:

  • ·         Visual or a person who learns from sight and sees what is going on.
  • ·         Kinesthetic or a person that learns and is comfortable with touch or feels their way through things.
  • ·         Auditory or a person who learns from hearing what needs to be done and listens intently.

 

Now there is an age old fairy tale that explains that when people look up and to the left there is fabricating going on or there may be a lie going on. In NLP this would signify visual construction (Vc) and if the person looked up and to the right this would signify visual remembered (Vr). The reason that this is thought of as a big deal is because in this theory visual construction means making up a story, fabrication or changing the story or even flat out lying.

 

NLP or Neuro Linguistic Programming is not always right when it comes to any of their teachings but it does construct good guidelines for the way that things can be. When it comes to body language or non verbal communication there is not any rule that is 100% usable every time.

 

This theory of visual reconstruction would be great except that it is wrong and has been proven through a few studies done including one performed by Dr. Kevin Hogan. Police use this in interrogations, the military uses this style of lie detecting while interpreting stories about actions people have taken.

 

In some instances when men or women are lying they will not look at you while they are talking, now this may not mean that there is a lie directly going on but there is definitely something wrong with whatever they are talking about. This would also go with direct eye contact or looking someone in the eye. Now if a person has too much eye contact with you it is uncomfortable but if they do not make enough or if they break away too long at the wrong time it may be that there is a lie involved.

A good skilled liar knows this and may make the correct amount of eye contact and not really give off any signs of a lie. Most of the time when this situation happens you are dealing with a great manipulator and this type of person is great at guilting you into thinking that all of the problems and or issues are your fault. This is usually their giveaway more than
their body language and it is a verbal sign.

How to tell if your boyfriend is cheating on you
is my boyfriend cheating on me

Places to use body language signs or signals

 

Now where else could you use this information? There are plenty of places:

  1. 1.      A Job interview
  2. 2.      Dating or seduction
  3. 3.      Determining if a boyfriend or girlfriend is lying about where they were last night

 

Now what happens if you jump to conclusions too soon while reading the body language of males or females? You lose contracts, relationships, friends and you can even make some enemies. Understanding or interpreting body language and non verbal communication means you must be able to separate fact from fiction when it comes to knowing what is real and can help you or what is sometimes correct.

 

People have a tough enough time believing information and adding in the layer of detecting lies through nonverbal communication and half-truths makes this task even more difficult.    

 

What is body language? That answer will be up to you and what you think the other person communication is and how they fill in the voids of what you thinks as the viewer.

 

It is entirely possible for you to read a situation the wrong way and your reaction as it has been explained previously is what will cause a reaction in the other person. You must take the time to baseline people and understand their actions and why they perform them unless you are in a situation where you have to make a split second decision then go the direction where it keeps you the safest.

 

One of the biggest mistakes that can be made is believing that one “tell” of a body language sign or signal is a definite. One of these items is the blinking rate of a person or touching the face means that there is a definite lie. In either instance when a person uses these “tells” this is an area where something just inst quite right but does not mean that there is a definite lie. Making the mistake of saying there is an absolute tell of lying would be inaccurate. These examples could be used for politicians all the way to salespeople.

 

The key is to take you time to understand what peoples actions mean nonverbally.

 

As always I would like to thank you for your comments and or questions.

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Photo credits: Man by Salvatore Vuono, Woman On The Phone by Stuart Miles

Reading body language: How to spot a liar

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Reading body language: Deceptive body language or non verbal communication can destroy a message overt or even covert. You can have been telling the truth but you were betrayed by you facial expressions under pressure or even a “tell” you didn’t even know you hand when you were nervous.

 

When people lie there are physical actions that they make whether they know it or not.

 

What communication is will be determined by how effective both the verbal and nonverbal are contained within the message.

 

Salespeople are seen as liars no matter how persuasive their message ism the body language of men is under scrutiny most of the time by women, men want to know what the body language of women means so that they can possible determine if she is attracted to them and people in general just want to know what is body language. Politicians are also seen as liars and are under great scrutiny especially when there is controversy or debates for the Presidency.  

 

Some people who are good at reading body language or non verbal communication may be seen as having the ability to read minds or that they may be clairvoyant, this skill takes some time to take to learn.

 

How to spot a liar

 

Deceptive body language can be detected by base lining or watching the person to find their tells or the give away action when they lie. There may be one “tell” that is made or it can be a combination of a few “tells” 

 

When reading the body language of men or women there are some consistent things that people do when they lie and they may fall into one or more of these categories meaning they can have more than one tell and they include:

  • ·         Blinking more than often
  • ·         Covering their mouth or even trying to put their words back into their mouth
  • ·         Hiding their hands
  • ·         Covering their teeth with their lips
  • ·         Looking another direction
  • ·         Shaking one of their body parts with the wrong sign either up or down or left to right
  • ·         Tapping their foot of even feet
  • ·         Being unsettled in their chair
  • ·         Touching their face

 

Now the items in this list do not always mean that the persons body language or non verbal communication is deceptive or that they are lying but it can mean that something more is going on that what the person is alluding to.

 

When reading or learning how to read the body language of women their tells may be a bit more subtle and harder to catch then the deceptive body language of a man but this is not always the case.

 

Body language signals of lying in men or women

 

In many instances it will be the facial expressions that gives a person away but also in many instances it will be the body language of the arms or legs that will really give the person away non verbally.

 

When you are dealing with a person who is used to lying either man or women without plenty of work you will have a tough time catching them either verbally or non verbally because they are used to lying or being deceptive over and over again.

 

For reading the body language of deception most people are interested in trying to understand or interpret if their Husband, Wife, Boyfriend or Girlfriend is lying to them. The significant other may feel that their partner is either hiding something from them like money or hanging out with an ex-girlfriend or ex-boyfriend.

 

Body language signs of lying and deception usually point to where there is an issue with the truth and one of the things that can be caught is when the other person tries to shovel their words back into their mouths, this is just one tell that can be done when a man or woman is lying.

 

Communication skills are important to not just your business life but your personal life also. It would be a good idea for you to determine what your “tells” are so that you know what type of message may be being delivered if you get nervous and not for the ability to deceive others. With enough time around a person you will know how to read their body language and even facial expressions to understand if they are lying or telling the truth.

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

Reading body language: The non verbal language of women part 2

Reading body language of women: While understanding the body language of women it is important to remember that first you should observe her non verbal communication to determine or base line her actions. This understand of what is normal for her is a key to interpreting body language correctly.

 

The body language of women may differ from the body language of men in a few ways. Going back and understanding the natural born tendencies in women to protect themselves from men or attackers of either gender knowing where to stand or even how close in proximity is important.

 

If you are working on determining her non verbal communication to see if a woman is interested into you there are a few signs to look for when it comes to body language signs of attraction.

 

When a woman is attracted to you her body language will cause her to “preen”. This action of preening could include her playing with her hair or clothing or even an object like a glass. If in the animal world this would be a sign of the woman’s capability to clean and take care of herself but also at the same time demonstrating that she is a capable mate.

 

If a woman is attracted to you she may use smiles as her body language to get your attention. Now the smile that a woman would use would be a genuine smile and not the kind that kids make when taking pictures in the 3rd grade. This smile used as nonverbal communication would not be a constant smile because that may just be creepy and strange it would be a shorter gesture.  

 

Now sometimes women will flirt with men and they may just wink or blink at a guy. You may smile back at her and then she may wink or even raise her eyebrows as a sign that she is interested. In some instances she may even motion for you to come over this may be an overt sign of body language and would definitely mean that she is interested in you in some way or another.

 

While determining if she is attracted to you through her body language you can look at her feet belly button and neck dimple. Now these three items can help in indicating or understanding the body language of attraction. When a woman is interested in her she may be more inclined to point her feet in your direction when standing in a group or even if it is just the two of you. Looking at her proximity or how close she to you will help be a good judge or indicator. If she enters your bell bubble or gets closer than 18 inches this is a good sign that she is comfortable with you or even interested.

 

The next step to see if her body language is showing that she is interested in you would be to look at her belly button will help indicate attraction or if she is interested. When people are concerned about their safety they will do what they can to cover up vital organs and what is common when someone is nervous or even scared would be to cover the belly button. If you are looking at the feet of a woman to determine if she is attracted her belly button would also face you directly.

 

Adding one more layer to understanding the body language of women or attraction would to be the neck dimple. If her feet and her belly button are facing you then so should her neck dimple. This is the area above her collar bone but below her chin. This is another area of the body when would need to be protected in a time of danger and when it is left open shows that there is no fear or reason to be concerned.   

 

When all three areas of the feet, belly button and neck dimple line up these are good signs that there is attraction but this is not definite. This body language of women is important to understand as a basic safety need protect. If you are attracted to a women and she starts to cover these areas or directing them away form you it may mean that she is not interested and her body language of attraction is showing it.

 

To determine if a woman is interested in you checking her body language or looking at her eyes

Can help determine if she is interested or even flirting. In most instances when attraction is present in men or women the eyes will dilate or even stay fixated on you longer. This fixation could help you determine if she is attracted to you. There is always a downside when looking for body language signs of attraction and that is misunderstanding what the person is looking at. She may be looking at someone or something behind you if you are a distance apart. If you are closer in proximity there would be no mistake if she was looking at you with attraction.

 

Now if you are new to flirting with women or understanding the signs or signals of attraction keeping eye contact too long is not the right thing to do in fact it may just have the opposite effect and cause the person to think that you are strange. Interpreting the body language of flirting may take some time to learn if you have not learned about it previously.

 

When the body language of women turns to attraction her non verbal cues may include her skin changing color or becoming flush, her lips may become more red and in some instances her actions over all may become slower as to attract more attention. In some instances these moves may become seductive or even suggestive. In those specific instances the message should be very clear and it would not take mind reading to understand the situation. This seductive body language would not need you to be clairvoyant as to intentions.

 

More ways to determine if a woman is interested in you she may touch you on your arm or shoulder. Now this touch doesn’t always mean that there is attraction she may just be a kinesthetic or touchy person. You may have to take some time with this nonverbal communication to see what is going on. Now if you are used to women flirting with you would know what this “touch” would mean. If you are not used to women flirting with you it may take some time for you to catch on that she is interested in you. If you are not used to women touching you this action could possibly be misread very easily.  

 

She may take something from you as a playful action along with all of the other body language signs or signals of flirting or attraction. The taking of an object from you would be used as an attention getting device. At this point she may become more playful and even start laughing. This playful activity of flirting may common at any age and not just defined by one group.

 

As one last non verbal tip to see if a woman is interested in you at in a public setting you can look at your watch. The way that you would use this would require the help of a wing man. This action is very simple you would look at your watch as if you have somewhere to be if there is a woman who is attracted to you she will also look at her wrist as if there was a watch there. Your friend or wingman would then share with you who may have the possibility of being attracted to you. At this point you would either take the time to flirt with her or go over and use your verbal skills and talk to her.

 

Learning the body language of attraction for women or being able to read their non verbal communication when it comes to flirting can be misjudged so it is important to decipher the situation correctly. Your communication skills can be increased by learning and understanding what your body movements and actions can mean.

 

As always i would like to thank you for your comments and or questions.

Now go implement!

Scott Sylvan Bell

Photo credits:

Reading body language: The non verbal lanaguge of women

Reading body language: The reading of female body language is something that stumps most men and may even confuse women. Reading her nonverbal communication may stump even the smartest of men.

 

 To understand or interpret the body language of women you must first understand the prewiring done by nature.

 

 What communication is to a woman will be determined by what has happened previously in her life. Your non verbal communication skills must be honed in order to effectively portray your masculine abilities.

 

 Women are innately born to take care of themselves and others. This instinct will cause women to react to the gestures, non verbal communication and body language of men.

 

 In instances this will cause the fight or flight mechanism in her brain to trip.

 

 Think about the last time that you got to close to a woman and she backed away from you and reacted in a way like you were trying to walk off with her purse and you had no such thoughts.

 

 Women are prewired to protect their bodies from men who would try to harm them. Then again yo have to remember that they are used to men trying to hunt them for their goods sort of speak.

 

 Knowing how to get close to a woman without triggering her instinct to run or mace a man is something that men all too often feel is a mysterious answered locked away in some box.

 

 The first step is to make a woman feel safe by you using the correct body language, this includes how fast you walk up to her and how close in proximity that you get with your first “meeting” or encounter. Now this proximity will be decided by where you are meaning:

  • ·         A park
  • ·         A bar or pub
  • ·         Church
  • ·         Work
  • ·         Any type of social gathering.

 

 The distance or proximity that you can work with will change depending on the venue and how skilled you are at using your body language or nonverbal communication.  If anything you do seems strange to her then almost certainly her defenses will go up and you are out of the game for getting a number, email address or Facebook friend.

 

 Stand too close you lose and then again if you stand too far away you will also have trouble. Standing 4- 5 feet away upon meeting would be acceptable and then slowly drawing in instead of the rush to get within 18 inches.  

 

 If you observe the rules of body language correctly then you would know that getting into her Bell bubble too soon would cause harm.

 

 Now that proximity has been dealt with your hands will need to be used correctly to convey that you are safe to be around. Keeping your hands visible in a non-threatening manner will help you but that is not all.

 

 If this is a business meeting or a setting where shaking a hand with an introduction is ok, do you know what is acceptable and what is not acceptable for your non verbal communication?

 

 Going for touch too soon or giving a death grip hand shake may destroy your chances of the right or correct first meeting. This is bad non verbal communication and a reminder that you handshake if appropriate should be firm.

 

 A body language tip to understanding the body language of women is to slightly glance at her hand to see if she is about to raise it to shake your hand, you will see her shoulder start to dip slightly this may tell you that she is ready for a handshake.

 

 Now what if this isn’t a meeting for business and you would like to get to know this special woman better. You may decide that you want to use the body language of attraction to get this woman’s attention and in this instance it would be good to know and understand the body language of men.

 

 If you smile too soon you will seem like a creepy stalker who will get a fake number for sure, if you are too serious of your facial expression is wrong once again you will get shut down instantly.

 

 Now some pick up artists will share with you that it is a good idea to touch a woman early on in the “game” so that she gets used to you touching her. Touch done wrong this can get you in trouble, even done right this “kino” (short for kinesthetic) action may disqualify you as cool guy before you even get close to finding out her real name.

 

 Getting to know a women by approaching her the right way will help you “get the girl” knowing your body language or how non verbal communication works just give you an upper hand.

 

 Next up part 2 – The nonverbal or body language of women and even possibly seduction.

 

 As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions!

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Photo credits: