Reading body language of fidgeting

Reading body language: In every day interactions people have beliefs about your nonverbal communication.

 

Things that we forget about as communicators just get stuck on auto pilot when it comes to our body language.

 

Hypnotist will point out that “you can feel your right big toe throb” because it is pointed out. Reading body language or controlling your nonverbal actions are similar to the example of what the hypnotist would tell you.

 

Reading body language of fidgeting and negative signs
Reading body language of fidgeting women

 

Fidgeting has to be one of the most common actions that gets picked up easy by a person who is viewing you as a communicator. While the person watches reads your body language they see your fidgets as:

  • ·         Nervousness
  • ·         Possible signs and signals you are lying
  • ·         Lack of self-control

 

 

 

Fidgeting can be:

  • Playing with your hair
  • Wringing your hands or being occupied with them or something in them
  • Playing with something in front of you or onyour clothes
  • Tapping the table

Reading the body language of fidgeting

Nervousness has many things that play out and fidgeting is one of them. Some people will play with their hands either rubbing them together or picking on their fingernails. The reasons that a person could be nervous may there is plenty of stress on the person or it is natural. There are some who just over time have started to fidget like some lick their lips.

 

Now for those who want to look at every body language sign and signal as a hotspot of someone lying this really may be one of those nonverbal actions that do point to someone not being truthful or that they are telling a lie.

 

Just because someone fidgets somehow it does not make them a liar remember it could be that they are just nervous.

 

Just for a second pretend that when you were stopped by the police for something but you don’t know why. You have not been in trouble in your life and you get hauled into the police station for a lineup for a crime that you didn’t commit. Would you be nervous? Yes you would be. Would you be fidgeting with something, your hands, your hair or even a piece of paper and a pen? That’s a good possibility. Would it be called for? Yes it would and it would almost be expected.

 

Now take an everyday example: You are at breakfast at a diner with a significant other and you are fidgety. Is this normal for you? Possibly, but what if the fidgeting wasn’t there? That could mean that something is going on that would need to be investigated more.

 

Just because someone has an action in their body language that can be read as bad does not determine for 100% that that they are doing the action that you believe.

 

Some say that when people are fidgety that it is an instant sign that they are lying. That could be the case if they are not a person who fidgets normally.

 

People under stress will fidget, people who are nervous will fidget and people who have a

natural action of fidgeting will fidget. Body language means to people what it does as the other persons actions happen, and that means if that person thinks that fidgeting is a “tell’ that you are lying then in their mind you are a liar.

 

The tough thing about reading body language is that so many people believe so many different things. If someone has read that fidgeting is a sure sign or “tell” that you are a liar then it is difficult to prove otherwise until the person learns that they are wrong and then accepts that their knowledge and skills of reading body language are flawed.

 

Reading body language for the sings of fidgeting
Reading body language of fidgeting for salespeople

 

Fidgeting on a date could signify to some that you lack confidence and do not deserve the person that you are with. Fidgeting on a job interview may mean that you are lying about your qualifications. Fidgeting with a significant other can mean that you are just being you.

 

Reading body language and good signs of fidgeting

If you are playing poker you can use fidgeting as a way to throw a “tell” so that the opponent may think that you don’t have a good hand. In this case fidgeting is a good thing for you to do if you think that as a strategy it will give you an upper hand between you and the other players.

 

Oh so you thought that all examples here would be negative. In just about everything there can be a positive and a negative including using fidgeting to your advantage.

 

Ok so you want another example where fidgeting could be good for you? That would be if you are buying something and you know that you have room to negotiate or maybe you think that you don’t have room to negotiate. When you as the buyer get to the end of the conversation of price for the product or service you would just be quiet and fidget for a minute and more than likely the salesman will lower the price if he doesn’t know or understand your game. In this case fidgeting can make you money or save you some.

 

Nervous signs of communication can sometimes be a good thing like in gambling or negotiating.

 

 

Go out and fidget the right way for your own personality but be aware that others can see it for something that it may not be.

 

Reading body language is a skill that you can learn from a body language expert. Learn how to read body language signs and signals here.

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about fidgeting and body language.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Oops Gesture by Michal Marcol,Tied Hand by Danilo Rizzuti :Photo credits for reading body language of fidgeting

Reading body language of biting lips

Reading body language: Biting the lip can be seen as strange behavior from some while others may see this as a sign or signal of discomfort.

 

Anytime that you are reading body language there are some assumptions that are being made as to what the nonverbal communication aspect is. Of course there is the possibility of being wrong. There is no definite action of anything that can 100% be correct when it comes to reading the language of the body. This is true for understanding and interpreting seduction, lies, nervousness or even being truthful.

 

Reading body language signs and signals in real life

So you are having a conversation with a significant other and after you ask the question of him or her you notice that they bite their lip. Now in the back of your mind you think back and ask yourself “what does it mean when someone bites their lip”? You begin to panic because it may mean that there is some lie going on, but what if you are wrong about reading his or her body language. You react in the wrong way and it creates some problems.

 

Reading body language expert Scott Sylvan Bell explains biting lips
Reading body language of biting the lower lip

So just what does biting a lip mean, is it good or is it a bad action?

 

Biting the lip can mean a few things when being read by others:

  •           Lying by the person or even withholding information
  •           Nervousness or a habit
  •           Anger or frustration
  •           Thinking
  •           Flirting

 

Now all of these examples of reading the body language of biting the lip can be absolutely wrong and it may have the possibility of meaning nothing at all and the meaning can be different for men or women.

 

Biting the lip and lying

Starting with lying the action of biting a lip can be a sign or signal that the person with this action is being inaccurate and telling a lie. The biting of the lip could also be a way to hold the information internally by locking the lips down enough so that talking cannot be done. Sometimes the bite can happen before the lie and sometimes it can happen after the lie. It may even mean that the person is fabricating or embellishing a story or statement. A person biting their lip does not always mean that they are showing definite signs or signals of lies.

 

Biting the lip and nervousness or as a habit

Another explanation of a person biting their lip is that they can be nervous and it is nothing more than a nervous tick and a comfortable action that they use to mask discomfort in a situation. In some instances this type of body language can be read as a lie. If read into too much the meaning will become distorted, there are some people who use this as a go to nonverbal action after saying something and it means absolutely nothing.

When using base lining a person who uses this body language action of a normal interaction it would be seen that this is more of a comfort action than anything diabolical.

 

Biting the lip and anger

In the action or reaction of anger some people will bit their lip to keep themselves from saying something that they do not want to say. This is a control issue and there are times where whatever words are being thought of are better off left unsaid. Sometimes this can be the reaction of seething anger of someone who is beyond furious.There are also times where people who are frustrated will bite their lip as a sign of their impatience.

 

 

 Biting the lip in thought

Some people will bite their lip while they are thinking and this nonverbal action is harmless. If read wrong someone may see this as a “sure tell” that the person is lying. When read wrong this can create some real problems. This is similar to someone who uses this action like someone who is nervous. In most instances this can be seen more along the lines of uncertainty if a question is asked while looking for facts.

 

Biting the lip and flirting

In some instances some people will bite their lip when flirting now this is not just an action that a woman would use, sometimes a man could do
this also. This would be done to draw attention to the person.

 

Reading body language expert Scott Sylvan Bell explains women biting their lips
Reading body language of women biting their lips

As like any other body language reading it is important to take the time to understand the situation that is going on before reading what people are doing nonverbally.

Many times body language reading requires you to understand that your interpretations are just a glimpse into what may be happening and there is no definite action that means the same thing 100% of the time especially when it comes to the differences between men and women. Remember that the reaction from your body language will be read by the other person and they can be right or wrong also.

 

To become a body language expert requires an understanding of the basics of nonverbal communication.

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about the body language of biting lips.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell – Body language expert

 

Lips Showing Nervous Woman by Stuart Miles,Woman Biting On Her Lip  by David Castillo Dominici :Photo credits of reading body language of biting lips

 

Reading body language of a first date part 2

Reading body language: First dates can cause the butterflies to pile up in the stomach especially when you take into account how much the other person is reading your body language.

 

Your handshake is the first kinesthetic touch from you possible new partner. Then the eye contact but before you get into the next areas did you prepare correctly? It’s not just your body language counts but so does your nonverbal communication of clothing.

 

That means how did you dress for your date?

 

Did you dress for the occasion correctly?

 

Reading body langauge while on a first date
Reading body language of a woman on a first date

 

Now for women dressing is super important and their body language will be defined by their clothes. For men you may not understand because for you it may be a matter of a pair of slacks or jeans an undershirt and a button up shirt and what about the shoes… that was too easy. The fact is it takes a woman long to put on her make up than it takes you to get dressed.

 

You say so what…

 

This has everything to do with your first date and you were about to blow it.

 

Now for women and their nonverbal communication of dressing the clothes, makeup, accessories and shoes are the big deal that is their non verbal communication. It’s not just the body language, if she feels good about herself then for her it will be a good first date no matter how good looking you are, how great the conversation was or even amazing coffee.

 

No remember you will react to the other persons body language male or female and then they will react to you. They may think that one action, signal, sign or movement means one thing because they could have heard a rumor as to what body language is. For a woman it will come down to how she feels when she dresses up.

 

Make the wrong comment and the great first date can be a really bad first date, but more on that later.

 

Now that you know what she had to go through for her outing what about you? There are a few things that you can do to screw it up. Here are a few ways:

 

Where or how you stand

As your first date approaches you how you are standing will make a difference, is your body language showing confidence?

 

Are you standing up straight?

 

Are you crammed in the corner?

 

Do you look scared or do you look calm?

 

Are you standing with a crowd or away from the crowd?

 

Reading body language signs on a first date
Reading body language of a woman on a first date

 

All of these things matter. If you are too far away from others it would seem that you are an outcast or possibly nervous as to meet with your first date. These cues of nonverbal action can break the date for you. If there are people at the meeting place sit just a few chairs away from them instead of sitting too far from them.

 

If you are going to stand and wait outside for the person being too close to the door may cause similar problems. All of these little things add up if you have never met the person before and they are a blind date or you have met on the internet.

 

Where and how you sit

So you have met and you passed the test and stood and waited in the right place. Now where to sit, this has everything to do with your nonverbal communication? If you sit too close to the other persons proximity this may make them nervous. If you sit too far away the other person will think that there is something wrong with you.

 

Now to sit the right way is your body facing theirs? Is your body facing away from the person for the first date? Now this does matter because if your body is facing away from theirs it may show that you are not into them. This may cause the person to react to your body language. The best way to sit would be a few degrees off so that you do not have full contact that may seem aggressive. You would then slowly move inwards in small increments until the both of you have built comfort and rapport as they turn inwards over time.

 

Turning into someone can happen in a moment or in a few minutes. Comfort may take a little longer for some to build over time than others. Depending on the man or the woman that you meet and what has happened previously in their life the timeline may change.

 

It is ok to sit next to the first date or away from them but remember too close or too far and there will be some repercussions.

 

For a guy sitting at a table sitting straight up with a slight relaxed posture would be fine the show confidence. The legs slightly spread keeps more comfort than crossing legs. For women it would be completely opposite typically crossed legs.

Slouching in the chair would have a few signs possibly of boredom or lack of interest. This body language to some would be considered offensive.  

 

What you touch on your body and theirs

Touching the other person beyond the handshake or the hug may take some time to build up to. Now remember different regions, countries or areas may have different beliefs in touch so this guide for the first date may not apply to everyone.

 

For men to touch women there are few places that can be touched that would be considered appropriate and many places that would be considered inappropriate. For men to touch women the best place to keep out of trouble is the upper arm from the elbow to the shoulder. Inappropriate places would be the upper chest, the neck or the lower back along with the legs, areas near genitalia or the belly.

 

Now these are general guidelines in some situations they may be thrown out the window depending upon the intention of the date from both parties.

 

For women to touch men there is a little more latitude when it comes to touch. Women can touch many more places and be seen as flirting but when done wrong they may seem more like sexual advances. If she goes too far above the knee it may mean more than just a touch.

 

There is so much to body language of the first date and this has just scratched the surface. Non verbal communication has many moving parts from clothes, to locations where to stand, to how and where to sit and even a hairstyle.

 Learn how to read body language with expertise

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about the body language of the first date.

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Now go implement!

 

Photo credits: Man Massaging Her Wife by Ambro, Couples Sat Hand In Hand And Smile by nuttakit

Reading body language: Judged by your hair?

Reading body language: There are so many factors in determining what communication is and how people react to your message or messages through verbal and non verbal  communication.

 

You are judged in seconds by others when they meet you and size you up at the same time.

 

Body language can include your hair style
Nonverbal communication can be determined by your hairstyle

 

You are judged by your clothes, your accessories, your words, your body movement and even your grooming habits or lack of them.

 

You have little chance for error and since we live in highly visual and highly judgmental society.

 

It is hard to determine what is looked at first when people meet you, it could be your:

  • ·         Teeth
  • ·         Clothes
  • ·         Shoes
  • ·         Hands

 

What if the first thing that people looked at and judged you on beyond your words was your hair?

 

There are so many things that can go good with your hair and also there are a few things that are not so good.

 

You can be part of the small segment of society that has been naturally blessed with great genetics or you can be like the rest of everyone else.

 

There really are three way s that hair can go:

1.      Trendy and stylish – This would say that you are worried about what people think or that you are swayed by the way that society feels you should fit into a group. Either way as long as the hair style is done correctly. This trendy style of hair has a low threat of causing you to be judged in negative non verbal terms.

2.      Extreme or negative – When this style is used there would be high significance that you would be judged nonverbally and no matter how well your self control of your body language you would have a tough time delivering a positive message. An example would be a hair cut style of a Mohawk in the business setting in a nice suit. This example could also be colored hair or a style that doesn’t match the person who has the style.

In this sense a person who has a bald spot or a comb over and is not secure in who or what they are in the eyes of the person or people who are judging the content of the interaction.

3.      Neutral – in this category would be someone who has not fallen into the extremes of being judged by a hair style nor someone who would be in the trendy or fashionable hair style. There would not be much risk or losing social value as long as the person who is being judged is not among others who are in the trendy group or people who are knowledgeable in style.

 

4.      Accessories – You can have all of the right style and it could be the exact perfect cut for your industry or your message but you can do one thing wrong and that would to be choosing the wrong accessory or accessories to put in your hair. If you
choose something that pulls attention from your message you are not communicating effectively and you lose value. Whatever you decide to use it should be subtle and also conform to whatever you event you are invlved with or whatever industry you are in.

 

 

It may not make sense that your ability to persuasively persuade others can come down to your hair style or lack of hair style.

 

Learn how to interpret body langauge
Understandling how to read non verbal communication

 

Remember you are being judged not only by your message but by your nonverbal actions and attire. By drawing too much attention to any part of what you do that is not needed you can make your message ineffective and inefficient.

 

As people judge you or interpret your body language your job is to make this task difficult for them by not giving a person or a group a reason to have a negative opinion of you.

 

As always I would like to thank you for your comments and or questions.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Photo Credits:Sweater Girl by Roland Darby, Natural Beauty Woman by Michal Marcol

Reading body langauge:Knowing your social value – part 2

Reading body language:
Learning how to read body language is a skill that compounds over time. Your
abilities to read nonverbal communication will become faster and more intense.
It may be that your skills for reading body language is not very advanced and
you may know the basics. When taking a look at pictures your skills may even
take longer in the beginning.

 

You may have learned about social value and what it means
when people see your non-verbal communication in real time.

 

There is a second part to learning about social value but
also living it. Self-control would be the missing aspect of social value.

 

Your ability to control yourself or the self-control factor is
always on display when in public or when transmitted on video and maybe past
the non-verbal area in audio form.

 

You are constantly being judged by those who are watching
you whether they are part of or associated with what you are doing.

 

You should be asking yourself:

  • Who is watching my actions?
  • What are others thinking?
  • Will there only be positive thoughts of my
    actions or can there be negative beliefs about what I am doing?
  • Can my actions be misconstrued?

 

These self-check questions are just guide lines to make sure
that you are being perceived as being seen as a positive light. Remember there
is always going to be a person who has to interpret what you are acting it.
This becomes even more important where you can lose value from others who are
watching.

 

Self control is a huge part of your non verbal or body language
communication and just for a second you are a salesperson and you do make
mistakes that would cause you to lose social value, do you think that you will
make the sale or transaction?

 

When was the last time that you were somewhere and there was
a person who was acting out of place? Was it uncomfortable? How did you feel
about the person? What thoughts did you assume about the person?

 

Every day when you are in public and you are communicating
your nonverbal communications are being judged as:

•           Positive
social value

•           Exempt
social value

•           No social
value or negative social value

 

One of the best ways to increase your body language skills
is to go to a bar or pub and watch people after they have a few to drink. The
people who have had a few drinks will let their guard down and not pay attention
to what they are doing like a person who is sober. Just remember if you decide
to drink you may be the person who is being judged if you do not control
yourself.

 

I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and
or questions.

 

Now go implement!

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Photo credits: