Offensive body language

Offensive body language: Offensive body language doesn’t just come from your hands; while others are reading your body language they may become offended from different parts of your body.

 

Reading body language of offensive gestures

Your hands are used so much to communicate no matter what part of the world you are from.

 

Now in some spots of the world some symbols have different meanings than other parts of the world. So you want to say that everything is ok in the United States and think it’s a safe sign to pass off you may find that others who are reading your body language may be offended.

 

You decide that you want to give the thumbs up and think it’s a harmless action…

 

Once again as your nonverbal communication with your hands may confuse others who are reading your body language may get the sense you are being rude.

 

So you decide that you want to point at others, well that may not be considered rude all of the time or from many countries but it does lessen the effectiveness of your ability to persuade the person that you are pointing at.

 

Waiving a fist at a person can get you into a fight or altercation that can get out of hand so the waive of a fist for some may show power and for others it shows aggression.

 

This should not have to be mentioned but in the United States and other countries waiving a middle finger at a person or group is a giant step above the fist waiving and can be seen as a huge insult.  

 

It is important to pay attention to the people that you are with or around when using body language that may offend others.  

 

Reading body language of offensive feet signals

Your feet are the closest body part to the ground in most instances and to point at a person with your feet shows the person who is receiving the point may find that you have no value for them.

 

You walk on dirt with your feet

 

You step on less desirable items with your feet

 

So it would make sense that some people would find your body language offensive?

 

Reading body language of offensive touch

Now there are some social boundaries that seem like they should just make sense but there are some out there that just don’t get the social cues or they just do not care. Touching others in inappropriate places can get you in trouble. If you are reading the body language of others while watching interactions going on you may see some interesting facial expressions or reactions.

 

Touching others can be easy to remember so that you do not offend others. If you are a man and you are going to touch a woman the best and most appropriate place would be the back of the arm from the shoulder to the elbow, not the back, not the chest or the buttocks the arm. In some instances you can get away with the top of the hand.

 

Now for women who are touching men the rules may just as well get thrown out the window. If the touch is flattering to the man he will not care of believe the body language or touch is offensive. The same rules somewhat apply though even though with men the rule are more loose than with the women. The arm or the hand will work but not the leg, chest or stomach.

 

It is tough enough in some industries for women to be taken seriously because of their gender and if they buy into the flirting it may just hurt their real capabilities.

 

Reading body language of offensive proximity

There are some people who just don’t care how close you stand to them or if you touch them and then there is the rest of the world. Some men or women may find that your proximity to them may cause problems. A good rule of thumb is to stand at least 18 – 24 inches (40 cm) from people who you are not close with and sometimes more distance helps but not too much. If you are too far away from the man or woman they may find your body language not just offensive but strange.

 

Keeping the distance of the “bell bubble” will help others from reading your body language as offensive and combine the distance with offensive touch and you will stay away from dangers of getting too close for comfort.

 

Reading body language of offensive looks

Reading the “stink eye” or dirty looks causes people to be uncomfortable with the body language being presented. The “stink eye” may not always be on purpose. This facial featured look may just be a reaction on the part of the man or the women who is making the face. The “stink eye” can be more of a stare than anything else.

 

In some instances people will stick out their tongues or stick their fingers in their mouths when dealing with children as a way to have fun or scare children but when this action is done to an adult it may mean that there is no mutual respect or an anger or frustration involved.

One of the items that would go on the list of offensive looks would to be not to look at the person who is talking.  By looking at the person who is talking to you it shows a level of respect. If you were to turn your back on a person as they talk to you it shows a lack of respect and create altercations, anger and sometimes physical interactions.

 

Having good eye contact will keep you out of trouble with not giving enough attention to a message.

 

A yawn may be an offensive action when done with noise and excessive action. It is possible to yawn without noise or the body language that can be read as being bored. Done as silently as possible with a slight hand cover will keep your body language from being read as offensive.

 

Reading body language of offensive sitting

How you sit while talking to another may be seen as offensive. Without sitting straight up the man or woman may not think that you take their message seriously. If you are sitting in a slouched position while they are talking or presenting you may be showing body language that you are bored. The same goes with having a fist or hand under your chin.

 

Crossing your legs can cause some harm if done too often to draw attention to your actions. If you are a female wearing a skirt this action may be seen as a way to create undue attention. Some may find this body language flattering or a form of seduction so be careful even if done on accident.

 

Rocking back and forth can also cause some attention that is unneeded and can be seen as a distraction or rude to someone who is speaking or presenting.

 

Learning how to read body language can help you understand the signs and signals of what to do in public or what can be seen as offensive.

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about reading offensive body language.

 

Now go implement!  

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

:Photo credit for reading offensive body language

Reading body language of approaching women

Reading body language: Attempting to talk to a man or woman takes a few skills that you may not know about and they have everything to do with your reading body language and nonverbal communication skills.

 

If you are a man and you are about to walk up and introduce yourself to a new woman you will have to be careful to not screw this approach up…

 

…and yes you can make some huge mistakes when it comes to approaching a woman.

 

When it comes to someone especially woman reading your body language you must know that above all else women need to protect themselves from harm. You must absolutely remember this fact: Women will do what they have to so that they can be protected and if you approach the woman wrong you will get shut down.

 

Instantly

 

Reading body language of approaching a woman
Reading body language of approaching a woman the right way

 

Really it’s that quick?

 

Yes instantly,

 

if you break the boundary of trust of a woman before you have her trust it may never happen and you get no second chance.  

 

So what are the best ways to approach a woman that allows them to feel safe and read your body language and or nonverbal communication?

  • ·         Always approach a woman from angles and not from behind of straight on
  • ·         Never touch an unknown woman from the back on the shoulder
  • ·         Never grab a woman to get their attention from the front side or the back (this should not have to be stated but some people out there need it)
  • ·         Interrupting a woman speaking may cause you harm
  • ·         If you hang out too long to talk to a woman you have lost value
  • ·         As an added bonus approaching a woman in a bachelorette party will not work out 99.99% of the time, especially when the woman is with their friends.

 

Reading body language of approaching a woman

If you are a man just for a second imagine the harm that go towards a woman and think about what happens if you startle her? If you scare a person especially a woman from the beginning you will have a tough time gaining her trust. If you scare her good luck getting her phone number, email address or even being friended on Facebook. In all realities you are going to get a fake number.

 

The best thing to do is to walk into a woman’s sight form an angle so that they can see you so that you do not scare or startle her. You will also want to observe her “bell bubble” and not get too close so that she can see you fully. In this approach you will also want to keep your hands visible so that she can see that you are not a threat. If you have any type of threat that is felt at also she will go into survival mode and you will get rejection instantly.

 

Reading body language of touching an unknown woman

Approaching a woman from behind and then touching her shoulder to get her attention may get you hurt instantly. It is not a good idea to get attention of a woman from touching her unless you have been out in the dating field for a while or have learned some tricks from Pick up artists (PUA) and even then this approach can go wrong.

 

Grabbing a woman will do the same thing as touching her but her danger level inside her mind will go up instantly and you will lose any ability to persuade her for contact information.

 

Reading the body language of interrupting a woman

Sometimes men will want to interrupt a woman to get their attention while approaching them for the first time. You will want to look for a break where she has the chance to address you.

 

Now PUA’s will teach you the three  second rule and that is: If you see someone that you are attracted to you should and will approach that woman within 3 seconds of seeing her or making eye contact.

 

Body language expert Scott Sylvan Bell shares how to approach a woman
Reading body language of approaching a single woman

 

 If you have made eye contact and approach a woman it is different than just walking up and interrupting her.

 

Think about it for a second you had eye contact and it’s not really interrupting her if she knows you are on your way to talk to her. Now this can go either way you will be received well or you will get shut down.

 

There are really no other options when it comes to approaching a woman.

 

Approaching a woman does takes some body language skills and some reading of the situation on your part. Remember that you must think about how she sees your approach as safe or dangerous. If you approach her in a safe manner where she does not see you as a threat you will have a better chance of winning.

 

If you approach a woman wrong, touch her or interrupt her and your chances of getting another chance of meeting her again with positive results.

 

Reading body language like an expert requires you to understand and interpret the signs and signals of nonverbal communication and those skills can be gained here:

 

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your questions and or comments about approaching a woman.

 

 

Now go implement!

 

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

 

Young Woman by David Castillo Dominici, Happy Couple In Night Club by photostock:Photo credit for reading body language of approaching a woman expalined by body language expert Scott Sylvan Bel

Reading body language of a first date part 2

Reading body language: First dates can cause the butterflies to pile up in the stomach especially when you take into account how much the other person is reading your body language.

 

Your handshake is the first kinesthetic touch from you possible new partner. Then the eye contact but before you get into the next areas did you prepare correctly? It’s not just your body language counts but so does your nonverbal communication of clothing.

 

That means how did you dress for your date?

 

Did you dress for the occasion correctly?

 

Reading body langauge while on a first date
Reading body language of a woman on a first date

 

Now for women dressing is super important and their body language will be defined by their clothes. For men you may not understand because for you it may be a matter of a pair of slacks or jeans an undershirt and a button up shirt and what about the shoes… that was too easy. The fact is it takes a woman long to put on her make up than it takes you to get dressed.

 

You say so what…

 

This has everything to do with your first date and you were about to blow it.

 

Now for women and their nonverbal communication of dressing the clothes, makeup, accessories and shoes are the big deal that is their non verbal communication. It’s not just the body language, if she feels good about herself then for her it will be a good first date no matter how good looking you are, how great the conversation was or even amazing coffee.

 

No remember you will react to the other persons body language male or female and then they will react to you. They may think that one action, signal, sign or movement means one thing because they could have heard a rumor as to what body language is. For a woman it will come down to how she feels when she dresses up.

 

Make the wrong comment and the great first date can be a really bad first date, but more on that later.

 

Now that you know what she had to go through for her outing what about you? There are a few things that you can do to screw it up. Here are a few ways:

 

Where or how you stand

As your first date approaches you how you are standing will make a difference, is your body language showing confidence?

 

Are you standing up straight?

 

Are you crammed in the corner?

 

Do you look scared or do you look calm?

 

Are you standing with a crowd or away from the crowd?

 

Reading body language signs on a first date
Reading body language of a woman on a first date

 

All of these things matter. If you are too far away from others it would seem that you are an outcast or possibly nervous as to meet with your first date. These cues of nonverbal action can break the date for you. If there are people at the meeting place sit just a few chairs away from them instead of sitting too far from them.

 

If you are going to stand and wait outside for the person being too close to the door may cause similar problems. All of these little things add up if you have never met the person before and they are a blind date or you have met on the internet.

 

Where and how you sit

So you have met and you passed the test and stood and waited in the right place. Now where to sit, this has everything to do with your nonverbal communication? If you sit too close to the other persons proximity this may make them nervous. If you sit too far away the other person will think that there is something wrong with you.

 

Now to sit the right way is your body facing theirs? Is your body facing away from the person for the first date? Now this does matter because if your body is facing away from theirs it may show that you are not into them. This may cause the person to react to your body language. The best way to sit would be a few degrees off so that you do not have full contact that may seem aggressive. You would then slowly move inwards in small increments until the both of you have built comfort and rapport as they turn inwards over time.

 

Turning into someone can happen in a moment or in a few minutes. Comfort may take a little longer for some to build over time than others. Depending on the man or the woman that you meet and what has happened previously in their life the timeline may change.

 

It is ok to sit next to the first date or away from them but remember too close or too far and there will be some repercussions.

 

For a guy sitting at a table sitting straight up with a slight relaxed posture would be fine the show confidence. The legs slightly spread keeps more comfort than crossing legs. For women it would be completely opposite typically crossed legs.

Slouching in the chair would have a few signs possibly of boredom or lack of interest. This body language to some would be considered offensive.  

 

What you touch on your body and theirs

Touching the other person beyond the handshake or the hug may take some time to build up to. Now remember different regions, countries or areas may have different beliefs in touch so this guide for the first date may not apply to everyone.

 

For men to touch women there are few places that can be touched that would be considered appropriate and many places that would be considered inappropriate. For men to touch women the best place to keep out of trouble is the upper arm from the elbow to the shoulder. Inappropriate places would be the upper chest, the neck or the lower back along with the legs, areas near genitalia or the belly.

 

Now these are general guidelines in some situations they may be thrown out the window depending upon the intention of the date from both parties.

 

For women to touch men there is a little more latitude when it comes to touch. Women can touch many more places and be seen as flirting but when done wrong they may seem more like sexual advances. If she goes too far above the knee it may mean more than just a touch.

 

There is so much to body language of the first date and this has just scratched the surface. Non verbal communication has many moving parts from clothes, to locations where to stand, to how and where to sit and even a hairstyle.

 Learn how to read body language with expertise

As always I would like to thank you in advance for your comments and or questions about the body language of the first date.

 

Scott Sylvan Bell

 

Now go implement!

 

Photo credits: Man Massaging Her Wife by Ambro, Couples Sat Hand In Hand And Smile by nuttakit